Conventional attractiveness is at the door of any women willing to spend her time and money to look right . According to what our society desire .
Like common everyone know what type of look ( outfit makeup hairstyle,) . Will get you approached and which one will get you ignore . We all seen influencers models celebs without their ideal haircut makeup or clothes .
Now she also have to leave the house . A friend of me had hundreds of Thousamds of follower on IG . But no one was checking for her in real life . And no she wasn’t a catfish . But she was not interacting with people in social situations . You have to show that you’re willing to talk to get to know new people that you’re approachable . Guys ( the one who are not desperate not the one who have nothing to loose so love becomes a number game for them) . Don’t wanna risk to get rejected, I’ve seen girl less attractive than her being hit on whilst she would get ignored . But that’s because say girl looked fun and approachable .
So she has to go out of her way to meet people . Especially in the UK ( I’m new here ) but noticed that men aren’t as straightforward
Ok so my issue isn’t as horrible as others but I do feel it needs to be addressed.
I have been married for about 2 years now and my husband and I’s marriage is beautiful. We understand each other, he’s very emotionally intelligent and has a lot going for him, as with me too. He is at the end of his degree to become a qualified HCP and I am on my own career journey too. It’s going amazing. I just have one thing: his parents.
My own mother lives in another city as I moved when I got married. But his parents have no boundaries when it comes to visiting us. It’s so frustrating. My MIL gives me little to no advance when they’re visiting and they stay for so long, sometimes come back the next day when they need something. My husband and me work full time and sometimes I plan my evening routine to unwind after a long day but it’s impossible if they constantly make themselves welcome. They’re lovely MIL and FILs but I feel like my introvertedness and love for quietness is ruined now. I haven’t told my husband this but at times he can see that I get frustrated when I don’t have time to grab my hijab etc or quickly tidy the living room. He would of course tell his parents to give us time to sort ourselves out while they’re outside but that’s not the point. Any advice?
You deserve your space just as much as he does. If you’ve communicated this to him, and he still doesn’t get it then what I would do this:
Anytime you hear his parents are coming over, be like cool okay I’m going out with my friends or I’m going to the gym, I’m going to do this and that etc. Leave the house.
And if he tries to say “But my parent’s are coming over” be like:
did I tell you I was free?? Next time if you want me to stay at home when your parents come over, schedule that in advance, don’t just spring up on me.
Don’t even be angry or have an attitude, say it very calmly.
Then he will get the picture.
I absolutely agree with you, you shouldn’t have to compromise your space, your time . Sometimes men don’t listen the first time, so moving forward he will hear you especially if you inconvenience him.
Because if you were to go out when his parents come over, who has to clean up the house? who has to cook for them? Who has to entertain them? It will be him.
Anon
2 years ago
What should expectations for mehr be for couples in their early/mid 20s?
If it’s money, 10% of someone’s annual income is fair and just imo. More than what they can afford.
Anon
2 years ago
Sis how do you deal with being ghosted? I haven’t called him but I’m really struggling right now and it’s making me feel like I’m not worth it. Some days I’m okay alhamdulilah I don’t really care and other days I’m so upset l and want to call him and ask him why?
Stop being emotionally effected by being ghosted, take a hint, and move on with your life.
I know, it hurts sometimes but the truth of the matter is nobody owes you anything, even an explanation. Don’t spend anymore time and mental energy on a person that won’t spend any on you. There is no shortage of good people that you SHOULD be spending your time on so stop wasting it on irrelevant people.
I find that rejection, in whichever form it takes, hurts alot less when you realize that the decisions people make rarely have anything to do with you.
I’m not pro-ghosting, I don’t support it nor encourage it. Yes, there are times when ghosting is completely wrong i.e. when you’re married with kids. I’m focusing on the initial stages of a developing relationship. When dating, getting ghosted is almost inevitable, and understanding the way the world works is not the same thing as supporting it.
Anon
2 years ago
Okay I’m gonna go on a bit of a rant, bare with me please 😭.
Every relationship I’ve ever seen in life has been dysfunctional. Shambolic. Hellish even. Growing up I’ve never seen a loving family, maybe just cus I’m Somali and Somalis tend to not be affectionate, but the older I got, I started seeing how the men around me would never help the women. It’s almost like every Somali woman I know is a single mum to kids and a grown man. That’s not to say the men don’t provide financially, they do, but that’s it. The men I know flirt with other women, marry young girls, back home, aren’t really present in any of their kids’ lives, it’s honestly heartbreaking to watch seeing how much Somali women suffer then say ‘well that’s just the way marriages are’. i can’t lie it’s something that’s completely discouraged me to get married.
The scary part is I thought it was just the older generation and I was hopeful we would be different. We’re not. All these young people around me that have gotten married all got divorced except for one. And yes to a degree I think the younger generation are better than the older one because they’d happy walk away from a situation that doesn’t satisfy them or make them happy. But what about marriage makes everyone so miserable . It gets worse being on Twitter and seeing all the horror stories from people our generation is honestly so discouraging and makes me never want to get married. But the issue is, I really do love love. I want to experience it. I want someone that I find comfort in, loves me, just a healthy loving relationship. I’m such a hopeless romantic, I hate myself for it. And yes I know people are going to say ‘ well you shouldn’t assume that yours will be bad’. But everyone around me has a horrible marriage( and wallahi I’m not exaggerating, I genuinely mean every single person I know😭). So why would I be naive, dumb and prideful to think that I’m not going to end up with a similar fate. I’m sure all these women thought they’d be different too, find comfort in their marriages but they didn’t. Idk im just ranting because it’s been really frustrating me lately 😭 but im tired of hearing all these horrible stories. I need to hear about some healthy, loving, functional relationship to give me hope again cus the hopeless romantic in me is dying.
Nobody can predict how a relationship is going to play out.
My best advice would be to make sure you are in good working order to be in a relationship and to identify potential partners who are also in good working order. Make sure its an informed decision about who you choose to be with.
Still not a guarantee, but you’re more likely to be successful, imo.
Make sure you and your partner agree on the core stuff like where you want to live, religion/church style, etc.
Make sure your partner compromises as much as you do. There has to be a healthy bit of give and take to keep resentment away.
Make sure your partner has an identity for themselves. That usually looks like a career and hobbies. The career doesn’t even have to be anything top notch, just make sure they have direction, ambition, and a focus on something. I can say from personal experience that a partner who is just as ambitious as you are makes your transitioning to this life much more easier.
When I was younger and being privy to the relationships around me, I also learned that simply loving someone or being wildly into them does not make for a sustainable marriage or relationship. But it actually gave me an opportunity to learn from THEIR experiences so I don’t have to make the same mistakes. How does this person communicate? How do they handle conflict, with me and others? What are their long- and short-term goals? How do they manage their home, finances, and health? What are their values? All of these things where the most important to me when thinking about relationships because they actually relate to the actual person you’re partnering with, as opposed to sheer feelings dominating everything. And most of all, I think it’s important to take your time and really get to know someone before getting married.
Anon
2 years ago
Hey, Lula!
Me and my fiancée are talking holiday destinations, honeymoon etc & he’s happy with the choices I have brought up. However, who pays what? does he pay for everything or do we split? Like he takes care of flights and I accommodation etc. I brought up Maldives/ Bali & he did suggest that he would take care of flights and stuff and I would take care of the small things, visa versa. What shall I do?
Take care of what you can afford. Tbh if this is the first holiday destination we’re going on as a married couple, I would want my spouse to cover it because that’s his gift to me. Take care of the small things though, like sorting out the visa’s etc, maybe some of the restaurants bills whilst you’re there etc.
Anon
2 years ago
I’m not conventionally attractive but that has never bothered me. I have an amazing personality,I’m fun and very intelligent. Except, i meet people I might genuinely like and then get nervous when we have to exchange pictures because the dynamic changes noticeably after. I understand that I might not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, it happens that I lose their attention every single time. The next time, I become even more performative; holding out on sending pictures till the last moment, sending my very best pictures and feeling relief when the vibes change like I expect. I hate this! I do want to feel desired but I don’t want to ‘perform’ to get it. Advise?
Online dating tbh is as close to what online shopping for people is minus personal reviews. It’s all marketing. Ideal photos, correct wording, and the biggest thing: luck. It is the furthest from who you are in some instances and instead a cleaver game of sell yourself. It’s not for everyone but anyone can do it. Try not to take it too personally.
Better advice is to stop looking online perhaps and go out and look for people. Whatever you like to do- go online or find things in the real world that you enjoy. Join events, arts, crafts, sports (they have all sort of leagues for adults too), etc. Don’t go into every situation like “I’m here to meet my soulmate!” That’s a lot of pressure. Just go out and put yourself in environments with like minded people. And that’s how you really meet people, through proximity.
Anon
2 years ago
My sister in law is a psychopath and is sleays blowing things out of proportion. She doesn’t do anything for my brother, from housekeeping, budgeting to basic manners. It’s almost as if she was forced to get married to him. Her maid does everything, but thats not what the issue is. She is crazy jealous over anything and everything anyone has. Whether it’s someone going out with their husband for dinner. Or being invited to an event…or basically anything, and Ive3been nothing but nice to her. She treats me like crap and talks bad about my daughter and husband all the time. My brother is so stressed and wants a divorce but he is staying for the sake of their 1 year old. I don’t know how to advise him, since I want him to fix things with her but also I am keepong3my distance, after 3 years of bending over backwards to accommodate her, I’m keeping my distance because I’m tired of her outbursts and foul language. Help?
You don’t have to be around her, she is your brother’s family – not yours.
I’ll be real, you need to get over it. When people are married they are a package, your opinion on said marriage doesn’t matter. And it’s quite harmful considering they have a child together. Let them decide whether they are going to work on things or not. Clearly if he hasn’t divorced her is because he is trying to make it work for the sake of his family.
The fact you’re talking about their maid is actually none of your business. What is your deal? If she is worthy of him? He thinks so. If she enriches his life? He thinks so. Why do you get to decide if she is right for him? If she is around you, don’t talk to her other than to say hello, thanks for coming. Keep your comments to yourself.
Let’s not be dramatic here, as long as your life is not in danger from your SIL. Adults have to be civil to family you do not like at family events. Its childish to do otherwise.
Anon
2 years ago
There was this girl I was talking to quite briefly , she grew quite fond of me and suggested marriage I agreed to the idea however she was quite persistent and wanted it to get done quickly I told her to calm down and take it slowly but she didn’t like that idea and practically ghosted out just want to know who is in the wrong?
It doesn’t matter who is in the wrong. Generally, most people who have been ghosted didn’t take the hint. You can’t keep communicating the same thing with someone who isn’t on the same page as you, at some point you have to cut them off.
I’m actually quite proud of sis. She wanted something, you didn’t want the same thing and instead of hoping you were going to change your mind: she decided to cut her losses!
Find someone who is on the same page as you.
Anon
2 years ago
Girl I’ve never been as scared of men since after reading these dilemmas. Obviously sometimes you really won’t know a man till after marriage or a baby. But what are some glaring red flags you would say we as women often tend to ignore but then these same flags come back and are the reason things go left and we should have seen it from the beginning. I’d feel so much better about a relationship going left if I knew I didn’t let anything slide
Flight from confrontation and unwillingness to discuss problems and compromise solutions where and when needed.
On the other side, unwillingness to take a break from arguments when things get too heated (Women do this more than men btw so check yourselves)
The one who always plays victim is secretly the most controlling and dishonest.
How much contempt do they hold for the world? If I’m being honest, contempt is what kills a relationship, and I really do think that some people enjoy expressing it. If you are dating someone who holds a grudge, always wants to victimise themselves, they constantly complain etc. Ergh I will keep it so real, no one wants to be with someone like that. The relationship, friendship even will start to feel like a chore.
This is why I constantly say there has to be an element of xishood (shyness) in relationships. Just because you can be your most vulnerable self to someone else, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of that. If someone is only showing you the worst version of themselves, the most hopeless whilst they save the best of themselves for other people: red flag.
Because they’re taking advantage of how comfortable you make them feel. They know they can give you crumbs because you’ll still look after them regardless. But people don’t realise, we all have our own thresholds. People will do what they can for you but if you push them too much, they’ll leave and good on them.
If they can’t take a joke, and you constantly have to explain what you mean. Unless you’re not making body/appearance jokes, they’re overly sensitive. This is an issue for their therapist not you. Vice versa.
They constantly need input from their friends. Can’t think for themselves, so just know any relationship you have will be between you guys and however many people.
They aren’t trying to impress you during the first few months: I’ll be real, you know what man are like. They are not gonna ever ask to go halves with the woman of their dreams. They’re never gonna be late. If the first impression they give to you Is bad, they don’t have any shame WITH YOU.
https://thesisterguide.com/comment-page-100/#comment-2428
https://thesisterguide.com/comment-page-100/#comment-2678
Conventional attractiveness is at the door of any women willing to spend her time and money to look right . According to what our society desire .
Like common everyone know what type of look ( outfit makeup hairstyle,) . Will get you approached and which one will get you ignore . We all seen influencers models celebs without their ideal haircut makeup or clothes .
Now she also have to leave the house . A friend of me had hundreds of Thousamds of follower on IG . But no one was checking for her in real life . And no she wasn’t a catfish . But she was not interacting with people in social situations . You have to show that you’re willing to talk to get to know new people that you’re approachable . Guys ( the one who are not desperate not the one who have nothing to loose so love becomes a number game for them) . Don’t wanna risk to get rejected, I’ve seen girl less attractive than her being hit on whilst she would get ignored . But that’s because say girl looked fun and approachable .
So she has to go out of her way to meet people . Especially in the UK ( I’m new here ) but noticed that men aren’t as straightforward
I love this! Totally agree with you
Ok so my issue isn’t as horrible as others but I do feel it needs to be addressed.
I have been married for about 2 years now and my husband and I’s marriage is beautiful. We understand each other, he’s very emotionally intelligent and has a lot going for him, as with me too. He is at the end of his degree to become a qualified HCP and I am on my own career journey too. It’s going amazing. I just have one thing: his parents.
My own mother lives in another city as I moved when I got married. But his parents have no boundaries when it comes to visiting us. It’s so frustrating. My MIL gives me little to no advance when they’re visiting and they stay for so long, sometimes come back the next day when they need something. My husband and me work full time and sometimes I plan my evening routine to unwind after a long day but it’s impossible if they constantly make themselves welcome. They’re lovely MIL and FILs but I feel like my introvertedness and love for quietness is ruined now. I haven’t told my husband this but at times he can see that I get frustrated when I don’t have time to grab my hijab etc or quickly tidy the living room. He would of course tell his parents to give us time to sort ourselves out while they’re outside but that’s not the point. Any advice?
You deserve your space just as much as he does. If you’ve communicated this to him, and he still doesn’t get it then what I would do this:
Anytime you hear his parents are coming over, be like cool okay I’m going out with my friends or I’m going to the gym, I’m going to do this and that etc. Leave the house.
And if he tries to say “But my parent’s are coming over” be like:
did I tell you I was free?? Next time if you want me to stay at home when your parents come over, schedule that in advance, don’t just spring up on me.
Don’t even be angry or have an attitude, say it very calmly.
Then he will get the picture.
I absolutely agree with you, you shouldn’t have to compromise your space, your time . Sometimes men don’t listen the first time, so moving forward he will hear you especially if you inconvenience him.
Because if you were to go out when his parents come over, who has to clean up the house? who has to cook for them? Who has to entertain them? It will be him.
What should expectations for mehr be for couples in their early/mid 20s?
If it’s money, 10% of someone’s annual income is fair and just imo. More than what they can afford.
Sis how do you deal with being ghosted? I haven’t called him but I’m really struggling right now and it’s making me feel like I’m not worth it. Some days I’m okay alhamdulilah I don’t really care and other days I’m so upset l and want to call him and ask him why?
Stop being emotionally effected by being ghosted, take a hint, and move on with your life.
I know, it hurts sometimes but the truth of the matter is nobody owes you anything, even an explanation. Don’t spend anymore time and mental energy on a person that won’t spend any on you. There is no shortage of good people that you SHOULD be spending your time on so stop wasting it on irrelevant people.
I find that rejection, in whichever form it takes, hurts alot less when you realize that the decisions people make rarely have anything to do with you.
I’m not pro-ghosting, I don’t support it nor encourage it. Yes, there are times when ghosting is completely wrong i.e. when you’re married with kids. I’m focusing on the initial stages of a developing relationship. When dating, getting ghosted is almost inevitable, and understanding the way the world works is not the same thing as supporting it.
Okay I’m gonna go on a bit of a rant, bare with me please 😭.
Every relationship I’ve ever seen in life has been dysfunctional. Shambolic. Hellish even. Growing up I’ve never seen a loving family, maybe just cus I’m Somali and Somalis tend to not be affectionate, but the older I got, I started seeing how the men around me would never help the women. It’s almost like every Somali woman I know is a single mum to kids and a grown man. That’s not to say the men don’t provide financially, they do, but that’s it. The men I know flirt with other women, marry young girls, back home, aren’t really present in any of their kids’ lives, it’s honestly heartbreaking to watch seeing how much Somali women suffer then say ‘well that’s just the way marriages are’. i can’t lie it’s something that’s completely discouraged me to get married.
The scary part is I thought it was just the older generation and I was hopeful we would be different. We’re not. All these young people around me that have gotten married all got divorced except for one. And yes to a degree I think the younger generation are better than the older one because they’d happy walk away from a situation that doesn’t satisfy them or make them happy. But what about marriage makes everyone so miserable . It gets worse being on Twitter and seeing all the horror stories from people our generation is honestly so discouraging and makes me never want to get married. But the issue is, I really do love love. I want to experience it. I want someone that I find comfort in, loves me, just a healthy loving relationship. I’m such a hopeless romantic, I hate myself for it. And yes I know people are going to say ‘ well you shouldn’t assume that yours will be bad’. But everyone around me has a horrible marriage( and wallahi I’m not exaggerating, I genuinely mean every single person I know😭). So why would I be naive, dumb and prideful to think that I’m not going to end up with a similar fate. I’m sure all these women thought they’d be different too, find comfort in their marriages but they didn’t. Idk im just ranting because it’s been really frustrating me lately 😭 but im tired of hearing all these horrible stories. I need to hear about some healthy, loving, functional relationship to give me hope again cus the hopeless romantic in me is dying.
Nobody can predict how a relationship is going to play out.
My best advice would be to make sure you are in good working order to be in a relationship and to identify potential partners who are also in good working order. Make sure its an informed decision about who you choose to be with.
Still not a guarantee, but you’re more likely to be successful, imo.
Make sure you and your partner agree on the core stuff like where you want to live, religion/church style, etc.
Make sure your partner compromises as much as you do. There has to be a healthy bit of give and take to keep resentment away.
Make sure your partner has an identity for themselves. That usually looks like a career and hobbies. The career doesn’t even have to be anything top notch, just make sure they have direction, ambition, and a focus on something. I can say from personal experience that a partner who is just as ambitious as you are makes your transitioning to this life much more easier.
When I was younger and being privy to the relationships around me, I also learned that simply loving someone or being wildly into them does not make for a sustainable marriage or relationship. But it actually gave me an opportunity to learn from THEIR experiences so I don’t have to make the same mistakes. How does this person communicate? How do they handle conflict, with me and others? What are their long- and short-term goals? How do they manage their home, finances, and health? What are their values? All of these things where the most important to me when thinking about relationships because they actually relate to the actual person you’re partnering with, as opposed to sheer feelings dominating everything. And most of all, I think it’s important to take your time and really get to know someone before getting married.
Hey, Lula!
Me and my fiancée are talking holiday destinations, honeymoon etc & he’s happy with the choices I have brought up. However, who pays what? does he pay for everything or do we split? Like he takes care of flights and I accommodation etc. I brought up Maldives/ Bali & he did suggest that he would take care of flights and stuff and I would take care of the small things, visa versa. What shall I do?
Take care of what you can afford. Tbh if this is the first holiday destination we’re going on as a married couple, I would want my spouse to cover it because that’s his gift to me. Take care of the small things though, like sorting out the visa’s etc, maybe some of the restaurants bills whilst you’re there etc.
I’m not conventionally attractive but that has never bothered me. I have an amazing personality,I’m fun and very intelligent. Except, i meet people I might genuinely like and then get nervous when we have to exchange pictures because the dynamic changes noticeably after. I understand that I might not be everyone’s cup of tea. But, it happens that I lose their attention every single time. The next time, I become even more performative; holding out on sending pictures till the last moment, sending my very best pictures and feeling relief when the vibes change like I expect. I hate this! I do want to feel desired but I don’t want to ‘perform’ to get it. Advise?
Online dating tbh is as close to what online shopping for people is minus personal reviews. It’s all marketing. Ideal photos, correct wording, and the biggest thing: luck. It is the furthest from who you are in some instances and instead a cleaver game of sell yourself. It’s not for everyone but anyone can do it. Try not to take it too personally.
Better advice is to stop looking online perhaps and go out and look for people. Whatever you like to do- go online or find things in the real world that you enjoy. Join events, arts, crafts, sports (they have all sort of leagues for adults too), etc. Don’t go into every situation like “I’m here to meet my soulmate!” That’s a lot of pressure. Just go out and put yourself in environments with like minded people. And that’s how you really meet people, through proximity.
My sister in law is a psychopath and is sleays blowing things out of proportion. She doesn’t do anything for my brother, from housekeeping, budgeting to basic manners. It’s almost as if she was forced to get married to him. Her maid does everything, but thats not what the issue is. She is crazy jealous over anything and everything anyone has. Whether it’s someone going out with their husband for dinner. Or being invited to an event…or basically anything, and Ive3been nothing but nice to her. She treats me like crap and talks bad about my daughter and husband all the time. My brother is so stressed and wants a divorce but he is staying for the sake of their 1 year old. I don’t know how to advise him, since I want him to fix things with her but also I am keepong3my distance, after 3 years of bending over backwards to accommodate her, I’m keeping my distance because I’m tired of her outbursts and foul language. Help?
You don’t have to be around her, she is your brother’s family – not yours.
I’ll be real, you need to get over it. When people are married they are a package, your opinion on said marriage doesn’t matter. And it’s quite harmful considering they have a child together. Let them decide whether they are going to work on things or not. Clearly if he hasn’t divorced her is because he is trying to make it work for the sake of his family.
The fact you’re talking about their maid is actually none of your business. What is your deal? If she is worthy of him? He thinks so. If she enriches his life? He thinks so. Why do you get to decide if she is right for him? If she is around you, don’t talk to her other than to say hello, thanks for coming. Keep your comments to yourself.
Let’s not be dramatic here, as long as your life is not in danger from your SIL. Adults have to be civil to family you do not like at family events. Its childish to do otherwise.
There was this girl I was talking to quite briefly , she grew quite fond of me and suggested marriage I agreed to the idea however she was quite persistent and wanted it to get done quickly I told her to calm down and take it slowly but she didn’t like that idea and practically ghosted out just want to know who is in the wrong?
It doesn’t matter who is in the wrong. Generally, most people who have been ghosted didn’t take the hint. You can’t keep communicating the same thing with someone who isn’t on the same page as you, at some point you have to cut them off.
I’m actually quite proud of sis. She wanted something, you didn’t want the same thing and instead of hoping you were going to change your mind: she decided to cut her losses!
Find someone who is on the same page as you.
Girl I’ve never been as scared of men since after reading these dilemmas. Obviously sometimes you really won’t know a man till after marriage or a baby. But what are some glaring red flags you would say we as women often tend to ignore but then these same flags come back and are the reason things go left and we should have seen it from the beginning. I’d feel so much better about a relationship going left if I knew I didn’t let anything slide
Flight from confrontation and unwillingness to discuss problems and compromise solutions where and when needed.
On the other side, unwillingness to take a break from arguments when things get too heated (Women do this more than men btw so check yourselves)
The one who always plays victim is secretly the most controlling and dishonest.
How much contempt do they hold for the world? If I’m being honest, contempt is what kills a relationship, and I really do think that some people enjoy expressing it. If you are dating someone who holds a grudge, always wants to victimise themselves, they constantly complain etc. Ergh I will keep it so real, no one wants to be with someone like that. The relationship, friendship even will start to feel like a chore.
This is why I constantly say there has to be an element of xishood (shyness) in relationships. Just because you can be your most vulnerable self to someone else, doesn’t mean you should take advantage of that. If someone is only showing you the worst version of themselves, the most hopeless whilst they save the best of themselves for other people: red flag.
Because they’re taking advantage of how comfortable you make them feel. They know they can give you crumbs because you’ll still look after them regardless. But people don’t realise, we all have our own thresholds. People will do what they can for you but if you push them too much, they’ll leave and good on them.
If they can’t take a joke, and you constantly have to explain what you mean. Unless you’re not making body/appearance jokes, they’re overly sensitive. This is an issue for their therapist not you. Vice versa.
They constantly need input from their friends. Can’t think for themselves, so just know any relationship you have will be between you guys and however many people.
They aren’t trying to impress you during the first few months: I’ll be real, you know what man are like. They are not gonna ever ask to go halves with the woman of their dreams. They’re never gonna be late. If the first impression they give to you Is bad, they don’t have any shame WITH YOU.