Hey sis. I have been married for a few months. It was an arranged marriage but I did agree to the proposal. But I am not seeing myself in this at all. All I want is to step out if it. It has caused me mental health I have thought of doing things I never thought of in my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about my parents but I can’t ignore my peace of mind.
You owe it to the person you married to at least try. Also, this is what you signed up for, so take accountability. You’re expecting compatibility right off the bat, but sometimes that’s not how it works. You guys are at the very beginning of your relationship, so treat it like it. How would you expect to be with a man you just met who randomly asked you out a date? You’d dress up, be really excited, and make sure to put in a lot of effort right? So treat it exactly like that! You have to try new things to make it work. Start dating! Go out at least twice a week, and make sure when you’re at home together that you make it still feel like you’re dating. Be sexy around the home, flirt all the time etc. Run him a bath, put on candles. Romanticise living together whilst you guys date. And also, give positive reinforcement to your partner too. A lot of women forget that men need reassurance too. Make him feel like the man 😭 Remind him how big and strong he is, tell him to open something you can’t open and say woooooow LOOOOL. I know this must sound really stupid but it works.
Everyone’s marriage is different, and in this case, you guys are just getting to know each other. But if it feels like you have already given up, then there’s no much hope. I would say try as much as you can to make it work before then, at the end of the day, you guys are married. That’s the real commitment. Can’t be treating it like you can just cancel. Divorce should be last option
Anon
3 years ago
Heyy! I relate to one of the questions asked previously in the sense that I haven’t tapped into my feminine side. I mean I’m always clean, smell good and take care of my skin however I haven’t really explored make up and wearing nice clothes. I am also young however, the material of the guys I’ve met and that are around me doesn’t interest me at all. They can be good looking but their personalities aren’t attractive. I’m still in uni and I figure that if I do find a guy that I’m interested in, I would want to tap into that side more but I feel like the guys around me aren’t worth the trouble in all honesty. What do you suggest I do because I am aware that make up isn’t easy to master and it’s not just a switch that can be flipped. It doesn’t help that growing up I was always physically active and had and still have conventionally masculine hobbies like gaming.
There are still guys that are attracted to me and have asked me out but I don’t really feel like they’re my type so I haven’t dated either. I probably sound really picky lol.
That’s a long question so thanks for going through the trouble of even reading it.
Once you got all the small things down to a T, it takes a certain type of man to help bring that feminine side of you out.
Don’t go for guys that think 50/50 should be a thing, or that they don’t understand the point of mehr, Love the mandem too much etc.
Go for someone that’s mature, maybe a few years older than you, definitely someone that’s taller than you because naturally you feel daintier when someone’s bigger than you.
Don’t worry that you like gaming and what not, as long as physically you are very feminine, guys won’t care. In fact it’ll be a bonus.
Anon
3 years ago
Thank you for your reply, so you know this bit: “ Anything after a few days, or taking long to reply to you in general, I would just be under the assumption he doesn’t like me and/or he is saving me for the event if something goes wrong with option NO.1.”
Is it best just to cut it off or could I keep him on the back burner? I like this guy
Remember now that when you are married, this is the new family. And that’s the priority, everyone else is secondary.
If you are committed to staying with your partner, separate yourselves from the families until they start respecting your boundaries. Usually the reason why In laws are interfering, is becoming one of you two is allowing it to happen. If you guys are both a team, and both agree to distance yourselves from them for the time being, they have no power. How are they going to get to you guys if you’re not putting yourselves in those positions.
Stop visiting, and stop speak to the families until they get their shit together.
Also, stop telling stuff to your parents or sibilings. Whatever happens in-house, stays in-house.
If you want to rant about small beef that happened with ur husband, tell your friends or better yet, tell your Notes App.
There are always ways to make it better and that starts with DISTANCE. Be a team and distance yourselves from these people
Anon
3 years ago
With regards to the unhealthy texting habits – I try and talk to several people at a time for this reason but for example I naturally gravitated to one person recently and got ghosted which hurt like a mf. Is there anything else to do? Or just have to take the L?
It is what it is. Don’t ever take rejection personal. Find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Take that L and turn it into a W
Anon
3 years ago
Tips on how to get guys on LinkedIn to dm and start a conversation? I’ve connected but don’t know what to do next. I don’t want to dm myself but I’m struggling to think of what else to do without seeming stalkerish (eg liking an old post)
Dm him about a work-related inquiry and then keep asking questions until it becomes a conversation. And include something about yourself, so the conversation continues.
Girl: Hey, I was looking at some of these roles before but I was really curious to know what it’s actually like. Any insight?
Guy: *says something whatever about work* – but yeah what makes you interested?
Girl: I’m trying to join this field, I stopped being a teacher so I’m still deciding whether or not to pursue this. I still love teaching so might go back into it
Guy: oh really what is it about teaching you like?
You see how you turned an inquiry into a conversation ??
Anon
3 years ago
Do you think singing to songs in the car on the first few dates is doing too much?
hey i really need your help on this situation. So i was basically speaking to this guy right and i really thought he liked me because he would really try to flirt here and there, talk on the phone for hours till late night and would even send me poems about me and he would try new things that i liked and basically gave me all the signs that he likes me. i would basically help him out with his business and set up things for him and i even gave him 1k one time when he needed it to help him out and told him keep the money he didn’t need to pay it back. It was all good but sometimes he would air for like couple days but i didn’t think anything of it because maybe everyone needs a break from socials. However recently i found out he was speaking to other girls after everything i done for him i didn’t want to get angry because i spoke to the girl and it just sounded like they got along better and i thought he liked her more so i decided to be the bigger person and not mention and leave it. There was never a clear label on us so i really couldn’t do anything but i really thought he would still continue to speak to me and i could get the upper hand of airing him but no. Not a single text since the day i found out everything. He even knows i got corona and not even a get well soon text (it’s been two weeks). What should i do? i’ve already decided the bigger person didn’t get me nowhere.
This man used and groomed you, in the most tactical way possible. How they hell did he got 1k out of you and then on top of that, get you to say you don’t have to pay me back?? Goodness me.
I don’t think he ever liked you. You were a lick to him. The second he got what he needed, he was OUT. This man is a leech who sucks out women’s lives, drains their pockets and their hearts dry.
He literally took advantage of all the freebies he could get his dusty hands on, without a hint of guilt or appreciation. Uf this man is a scrub.
When I say groom it’s because the way he profiled and targeted you is crazy!! I’m convinced the only women he goes for are the ones that make his job easy: overly generous woman with low self-esteem. Ask your self why you felt the need to give him so much money? We’re you doing that so he would stay with you? Giving him “loans” on very favourable terms such as you don’t have to pay me back.
Take this as an L. Don’t even do that again. Move on and learn from it.
Anon
3 years ago
I was just wondering about how hard marriage really is? Honestly I’m scared. I’m 20 years old. I’ve found the love of my life (22), I wouldn’t want anyone else. We’ve been together for a year, we met through school but he didn’t confess his feelings towards me until we reconnected where he let me know in the first week that he wanted to marry me. Both our families know and are happy except my dad who doesn’t know because my man would rather tell him himself when the time comes.
The only thing left is for him to save enough and be financially stable enough for us to get married so it’s looking like it will be next year or the year after. But honestly I really do not deal well with having a lot of responsibilities. This man is like my best friend and is amazing to me it’s just that in my household I was always told to focus on studies which means I don’t really know how to cook or clean well and any of those other domestic duties. I’ve done really really well in my studies because my parents didn’t put these responsibilities on me but now I feel less than and I’m scared that once we get married I won’t be a good wife?
Also do you get waxed before getting married? And I genuinely never thought of getting on any contraception, obviously we don’t want kids this young which we have spoken about but I just assumed that he would wear condoms every time?
Also!! His family knows but I’ve only met his sister (who is amazing and has reassured me a lot of how the family will love me) but I’m scared of the first encounter with the mother in law? I’m a very shy person and I don’t want to come across as rude because I’m quiet or anything.
I want to be clear here, marriage is not hard, as in terrible. It just takes a while to get used to. In some cases, though, it is genuinely hard because the man you got married to might turn out to be something completely different.
So differentiating between the two is key. Is it just because this is new or is it because my husband a monster?
In my case, adjusting beforehand was the difficulty that I experienced.
Alhamdulilah there were no financial issues so that was a big weight lifted off my shoulders, because I know that can be really problematic in some relationships. But it still didn’t stop me from feeling anxious about a lot of things. I knew I wasn’t a typical woman who just always wanted to be a wife, in fact, I actually preferred my individuality. I used to say stuff like I would get married when I was 29. So I worried about balancing individual and shared life goals. Navigating closeness and separateness. Omg and it was this feeling of losing youth while moving on to the next chapter that was really strange for me. For some reason I felt like I was 30 now that I was married, and that I was meant to have kids right away. Don’t even make me start on that, that internal conflict to have kids is MAD.
But I know now it was just anxiety and my fear of leaving my comfortzone that was making me feel this way. I am a perfectionist. And I will only walk into this I am used to and have perfected. So marriage was the new thing for me, and I thought I was going to fail HARD. And thank God my husband had enough emotional intelligence to see through that. He knew straight away, the best way to make me feel like my life isn’t going to change, is to remind me of all my goals I had before. Secure my grad job, continue my masters, make sure I still have time for family and friends, my fitness etc. So when most of those thing’s started happening for me, I was like the only that changed in my life is the fact that I got married. In fact, the only real change is that my life has gotten better ever since. I am still very much me. It’s also important to have some who reminds you of who you were before you got married.
Yes women lose a lot when they get married. They lose individuality to some degree, ability to be selfish, their free time when they become a mother. But depending on who you get married to, every change can be worth it. All the things you lose can be compensated 10 times over. 20 times over.
When I think about my Husband, what comes to mind first is how much he has changed my life. Sometimes wallahi I will give myself nightmares thinking about in another multiverse, the possibility of not going out that night and meeting him. He is such a huge part of me, literally another extension of who I am. I come to him with everything, advice, consoling. He calms me in ways that I never had before.He also is really big on both of us having lives outside of each other. As much as we want to be up each other’s arses all day, its probably not heathy.
That’s why I never advise people to ghost when they tie the knot. You are already starting a new life, why are you burning ties to the old one?
It terms of my new responsibilities, we found a medium. Thank God I had learned how to cook, but even then, he will cook to. I have a cleaner that comes every 10 days so I’m not overwhelmed. The point is, there are always solutions to adjusting to a new life.
But yeah, marriage blues is very normal. I think everyone goes through it because its genuinely not even a bad thing. It’s just adjustment, adjustment to this new role, this new life, and this new person. Remember to always be patient with one another and communication is key.
In terms of preparations before, go to married friends and let them be in control of that part for you. My auntie took me to a hammam and wax place before i got married. I had already researched what contraception I wanted to go for before hand, so I kinda did that myself. If you have contraception, you don’t need to have protected sex i.e condoms. You’re married, you don’t need to protect yourselves from anything.
Anon
3 years ago
Hi love, so I just want to say congrats on your new platform! So amazing to hear other opinions, thoughts etc in our community. But my question is I’m getting married next year to the loml who was brought in my life after a very toxic relationship. I’m super excited, but I’m a very anxious person and hate change, I’m not in my early 20s either so I dont think that helps. I’m a big sis for many siblings and moving a few hours away from them will definitely upset me. Because I’m so close to many younger sisters of mine. I’m also reallyy nervous with how I’ll feel going from a massive family to just me and him. I genuinely love being indoors, which doesn’t help my feelings knowing I’ll need that space and create my own ‘identity’ I guess I’m just asking for advice, how to prepare. I dont want to feel alone or homesick to the point I’m sad about it. I love him to pieces and he’s the man of my dreams, I just know the change is HUGE for me, and I’ve always been my family’s go to. Sigh
Change can make you homesick, but homesickness won’t last forever. I think this is what is hard for a lot of girl’s when they get married. Especially when all their life they’re told to stay away from men. Now you’re like huh? I’m allowed to live with him and everyone just knows? You’re like nah this is crazy.
Just keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband. You might feel homesick for your parents’ home or sad at some point, but you need to make sure that your husband can hear you talk about whatever you’re feeling without thinking it means you wish you weren’t married. Talking it out is key!
Come up with good solutions for example: I will see my family this amount of times a week and so forth. For me, my husband gives me two evenings a week were he’s not at home so I can have the ability to invite friends over. He knows how much my nieces and nephew mean to me, so he makes sure every school holiday that there is, they stay over for a few days. Also your family isn’t going anywhere, you can always go home to visit, this time with your husband. Or by yourself.
Remember it just takes a while to adjust, you’ll get used to it and eventually, wherever your husband is with you will feel like home.
Hey sis. I have been married for a few months. It was an arranged marriage but I did agree to the proposal. But I am not seeing myself in this at all. All I want is to step out if it. It has caused me mental health I have thought of doing things I never thought of in my life. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about my parents but I can’t ignore my peace of mind.
You owe it to the person you married to at least try. Also, this is what you signed up for, so take accountability. You’re expecting compatibility right off the bat, but sometimes that’s not how it works. You guys are at the very beginning of your relationship, so treat it like it. How would you expect to be with a man you just met who randomly asked you out a date? You’d dress up, be really excited, and make sure to put in a lot of effort right? So treat it exactly like that! You have to try new things to make it work. Start dating! Go out at least twice a week, and make sure when you’re at home together that you make it still feel like you’re dating. Be sexy around the home, flirt all the time etc. Run him a bath, put on candles. Romanticise living together whilst you guys date. And also, give positive reinforcement to your partner too. A lot of women forget that men need reassurance too. Make him feel like the man 😭 Remind him how big and strong he is, tell him to open something you can’t open and say woooooow LOOOOL. I know this must sound really stupid but it works.
Everyone’s marriage is different, and in this case, you guys are just getting to know each other. But if it feels like you have already given up, then there’s no much hope. I would say try as much as you can to make it work before then, at the end of the day, you guys are married. That’s the real commitment. Can’t be treating it like you can just cancel. Divorce should be last option
Heyy! I relate to one of the questions asked previously in the sense that I haven’t tapped into my feminine side. I mean I’m always clean, smell good and take care of my skin however I haven’t really explored make up and wearing nice clothes. I am also young however, the material of the guys I’ve met and that are around me doesn’t interest me at all. They can be good looking but their personalities aren’t attractive. I’m still in uni and I figure that if I do find a guy that I’m interested in, I would want to tap into that side more but I feel like the guys around me aren’t worth the trouble in all honesty. What do you suggest I do because I am aware that make up isn’t easy to master and it’s not just a switch that can be flipped. It doesn’t help that growing up I was always physically active and had and still have conventionally masculine hobbies like gaming.
There are still guys that are attracted to me and have asked me out but I don’t really feel like they’re my type so I haven’t dated either. I probably sound really picky lol.
That’s a long question so thanks for going through the trouble of even reading it.
Once you got all the small things down to a T, it takes a certain type of man to help bring that feminine side of you out.
Don’t go for guys that think 50/50 should be a thing, or that they don’t understand the point of mehr, Love the mandem too much etc.
Go for someone that’s mature, maybe a few years older than you, definitely someone that’s taller than you because naturally you feel daintier when someone’s bigger than you.
Don’t worry that you like gaming and what not, as long as physically you are very feminine, guys won’t care. In fact it’ll be a bonus.
Thank you for your reply, so you know this bit: “ Anything after a few days, or taking long to reply to you in general, I would just be under the assumption he doesn’t like me and/or he is saving me for the event if something goes wrong with option NO.1.”
Is it best just to cut it off or could I keep him on the back burner? I like this guy
Keep him on the back burner, but only if you’re not going to still be thinking about him.
My in-laws have done so much damage to my mental health and my parents as well. Am I right to break all ties with them?
Remember now that when you are married, this is the new family. And that’s the priority, everyone else is secondary.
If you are committed to staying with your partner, separate yourselves from the families until they start respecting your boundaries. Usually the reason why In laws are interfering, is becoming one of you two is allowing it to happen. If you guys are both a team, and both agree to distance yourselves from them for the time being, they have no power. How are they going to get to you guys if you’re not putting yourselves in those positions.
Stop visiting, and stop speak to the families until they get their shit together.
Also, stop telling stuff to your parents or sibilings. Whatever happens in-house, stays in-house.
If you want to rant about small beef that happened with ur husband, tell your friends or better yet, tell your Notes App.
There are always ways to make it better and that starts with DISTANCE. Be a team and distance yourselves from these people
With regards to the unhealthy texting habits – I try and talk to several people at a time for this reason but for example I naturally gravitated to one person recently and got ghosted which hurt like a mf. Is there anything else to do? Or just have to take the L?
It is what it is. Don’t ever take rejection personal. Find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. Take that L and turn it into a W
Tips on how to get guys on LinkedIn to dm and start a conversation? I’ve connected but don’t know what to do next. I don’t want to dm myself but I’m struggling to think of what else to do without seeming stalkerish (eg liking an old post)
Dm him about a work-related inquiry and then keep asking questions until it becomes a conversation. And include something about yourself, so the conversation continues.
Girl: Hey, I was looking at some of these roles before but I was really curious to know what it’s actually like. Any insight?
Guy: *says something whatever about work* – but yeah what makes you interested?
Girl: I’m trying to join this field, I stopped being a teacher so I’m still deciding whether or not to pursue this. I still love teaching so might go back into it
Guy: oh really what is it about teaching you like?
You see how you turned an inquiry into a conversation ??
Do you think singing to songs in the car on the first few dates is doing too much?
Of course not. Don’t hold back sis 😭
hey i really need your help on this situation. So i was basically speaking to this guy right and i really thought he liked me because he would really try to flirt here and there, talk on the phone for hours till late night and would even send me poems about me and he would try new things that i liked and basically gave me all the signs that he likes me. i would basically help him out with his business and set up things for him and i even gave him 1k one time when he needed it to help him out and told him keep the money he didn’t need to pay it back. It was all good but sometimes he would air for like couple days but i didn’t think anything of it because maybe everyone needs a break from socials. However recently i found out he was speaking to other girls after everything i done for him i didn’t want to get angry because i spoke to the girl and it just sounded like they got along better and i thought he liked her more so i decided to be the bigger person and not mention and leave it. There was never a clear label on us so i really couldn’t do anything but i really thought he would still continue to speak to me and i could get the upper hand of airing him but no. Not a single text since the day i found out everything. He even knows i got corona and not even a get well soon text (it’s been two weeks). What should i do? i’ve already decided the bigger person didn’t get me nowhere.
This man used and groomed you, in the most tactical way possible. How they hell did he got 1k out of you and then on top of that, get you to say you don’t have to pay me back?? Goodness me.
I don’t think he ever liked you. You were a lick to him. The second he got what he needed, he was OUT. This man is a leech who sucks out women’s lives, drains their pockets and their hearts dry.
He literally took advantage of all the freebies he could get his dusty hands on, without a hint of guilt or appreciation. Uf this man is a scrub.
When I say groom it’s because the way he profiled and targeted you is crazy!! I’m convinced the only women he goes for are the ones that make his job easy: overly generous woman with low self-esteem. Ask your self why you felt the need to give him so much money? We’re you doing that so he would stay with you? Giving him “loans” on very favourable terms such as you don’t have to pay me back.
Take this as an L. Don’t even do that again. Move on and learn from it.
I was just wondering about how hard marriage really is? Honestly I’m scared. I’m 20 years old. I’ve found the love of my life (22), I wouldn’t want anyone else. We’ve been together for a year, we met through school but he didn’t confess his feelings towards me until we reconnected where he let me know in the first week that he wanted to marry me. Both our families know and are happy except my dad who doesn’t know because my man would rather tell him himself when the time comes.
The only thing left is for him to save enough and be financially stable enough for us to get married so it’s looking like it will be next year or the year after. But honestly I really do not deal well with having a lot of responsibilities. This man is like my best friend and is amazing to me it’s just that in my household I was always told to focus on studies which means I don’t really know how to cook or clean well and any of those other domestic duties. I’ve done really really well in my studies because my parents didn’t put these responsibilities on me but now I feel less than and I’m scared that once we get married I won’t be a good wife?
Also do you get waxed before getting married? And I genuinely never thought of getting on any contraception, obviously we don’t want kids this young which we have spoken about but I just assumed that he would wear condoms every time?
Also!! His family knows but I’ve only met his sister (who is amazing and has reassured me a lot of how the family will love me) but I’m scared of the first encounter with the mother in law? I’m a very shy person and I don’t want to come across as rude because I’m quiet or anything.
I want to be clear here, marriage is not hard, as in terrible. It just takes a while to get used to. In some cases, though, it is genuinely hard because the man you got married to might turn out to be something completely different.
So differentiating between the two is key. Is it just because this is new or is it because my husband a monster?
In my case, adjusting beforehand was the difficulty that I experienced.
Alhamdulilah there were no financial issues so that was a big weight lifted off my shoulders, because I know that can be really problematic in some relationships. But it still didn’t stop me from feeling anxious about a lot of things. I knew I wasn’t a typical woman who just always wanted to be a wife, in fact, I actually preferred my individuality. I used to say stuff like I would get married when I was 29. So I worried about balancing individual and shared life goals. Navigating closeness and separateness. Omg and it was this feeling of losing youth while moving on to the next chapter that was really strange for me. For some reason I felt like I was 30 now that I was married, and that I was meant to have kids right away. Don’t even make me start on that, that internal conflict to have kids is MAD.
But I know now it was just anxiety and my fear of leaving my comfortzone that was making me feel this way. I am a perfectionist. And I will only walk into this I am used to and have perfected. So marriage was the new thing for me, and I thought I was going to fail HARD. And thank God my husband had enough emotional intelligence to see through that. He knew straight away, the best way to make me feel like my life isn’t going to change, is to remind me of all my goals I had before. Secure my grad job, continue my masters, make sure I still have time for family and friends, my fitness etc. So when most of those thing’s started happening for me, I was like the only that changed in my life is the fact that I got married. In fact, the only real change is that my life has gotten better ever since. I am still very much me. It’s also important to have some who reminds you of who you were before you got married.
Yes women lose a lot when they get married. They lose individuality to some degree, ability to be selfish, their free time when they become a mother. But depending on who you get married to, every change can be worth it. All the things you lose can be compensated 10 times over. 20 times over.
When I think about my Husband, what comes to mind first is how much he has changed my life. Sometimes wallahi I will give myself nightmares thinking about in another multiverse, the possibility of not going out that night and meeting him. He is such a huge part of me, literally another extension of who I am. I come to him with everything, advice, consoling. He calms me in ways that I never had before.He also is really big on both of us having lives outside of each other. As much as we want to be up each other’s arses all day, its probably not heathy.
That’s why I never advise people to ghost when they tie the knot. You are already starting a new life, why are you burning ties to the old one?
It terms of my new responsibilities, we found a medium. Thank God I had learned how to cook, but even then, he will cook to. I have a cleaner that comes every 10 days so I’m not overwhelmed. The point is, there are always solutions to adjusting to a new life.
But yeah, marriage blues is very normal. I think everyone goes through it because its genuinely not even a bad thing. It’s just adjustment, adjustment to this new role, this new life, and this new person. Remember to always be patient with one another and communication is key.
In terms of preparations before, go to married friends and let them be in control of that part for you. My auntie took me to a hammam and wax place before i got married. I had already researched what contraception I wanted to go for before hand, so I kinda did that myself. If you have contraception, you don’t need to have protected sex i.e condoms. You’re married, you don’t need to protect yourselves from anything.
Hi love, so I just want to say congrats on your new platform! So amazing to hear other opinions, thoughts etc in our community. But my question is I’m getting married next year to the loml who was brought in my life after a very toxic relationship. I’m super excited, but I’m a very anxious person and hate change, I’m not in my early 20s either so I dont think that helps. I’m a big sis for many siblings and moving a few hours away from them will definitely upset me. Because I’m so close to many younger sisters of mine. I’m also reallyy nervous with how I’ll feel going from a massive family to just me and him. I genuinely love being indoors, which doesn’t help my feelings knowing I’ll need that space and create my own ‘identity’ I guess I’m just asking for advice, how to prepare. I dont want to feel alone or homesick to the point I’m sad about it. I love him to pieces and he’s the man of my dreams, I just know the change is HUGE for me, and I’ve always been my family’s go to. Sigh
Change can make you homesick, but homesickness won’t last forever. I think this is what is hard for a lot of girl’s when they get married. Especially when all their life they’re told to stay away from men. Now you’re like huh? I’m allowed to live with him and everyone just knows? You’re like nah this is crazy.
Just keep the lines of communication open between you and your husband. You might feel homesick for your parents’ home or sad at some point, but you need to make sure that your husband can hear you talk about whatever you’re feeling without thinking it means you wish you weren’t married. Talking it out is key!
Come up with good solutions for example: I will see my family this amount of times a week and so forth. For me, my husband gives me two evenings a week were he’s not at home so I can have the ability to invite friends over. He knows how much my nieces and nephew mean to me, so he makes sure every school holiday that there is, they stay over for a few days. Also your family isn’t going anywhere, you can always go home to visit, this time with your husband. Or by yourself.
Remember it just takes a while to adjust, you’ll get used to it and eventually, wherever your husband is with you will feel like home.