I HAVE NO CLIT
Hey girls ,
I’m going to try and keep my dilemma as short and simple as possible. When I was around 6 or 7 I went back home with my family , Obviously at the time I was too young to understand but I had undergone FGM. It was definitely the most painful experience thus far. I was told by family that this was a standard religious practice that everyone had to go through. I realised at the age of 15 that it was more of a cultural practice and that religion was just used to manipulate me and justify this barbaric tradition. Since learning this I feel robbed. I’m now in my early 20’s and have not dated or been with a single man because I basically have no clitoris. I shut down every potential relationship during the talking stage by ghosting them because I have crippling anxiety of opening up about this and the fear that intercourse will be extremely painful because of the FGM. Just the thought of having to tell a potential spouse is enough for me to shut off .
This past year , I’ve been speaking to a guy that I would have really liked to marry however , I have ended things with him several times because the thought of opening up about this is just too much for me. I’m tired of self-sabotaging because of something I had no control over.
I really want to be with this man so any advice would be much appreciated.
I wanted to start off saying that I am so so sorry you had to go through this. It has to be one the darkest and cruellest practice ever, and I am ashamed it is apart of our culture. No one deserves to go through that.
I think it’s valuable information to give to someone that you expect to be an open, honest, supportive partner. Also letting him know will help down the road in explaining some issues that might come out in the future. People need to know the full picture in order to be good spouses to you. If someone is scared off by it, be gone. You don’t want to be dating someone who is unable to handle the reality of your past or who has such a narrow view of abuse survivors that they would exclude you from their life based on it.
You also won’t know if sexual intercourse will be painful for you until you get married. It may be difficult or it may not. Many FGM survivors are still able to have sex, but the enjoyment part I am not really sure of. If anyone can dm me advice regarding this sister, I will post here. Also sex is not always the focal point, if you are more comfortable experimenting with intimate touch- that can ease you into intercourse in the future.
My best advice is to seek help from a qualified counsellor or sex therapist, I’m not sure but I think FGM victims can be referred to one through their GP. I just think its honestly best to actually speak to someone who has better knowledge and experience regarding past sexual trauma and how you can give yourself the skills to enhance sexual intimacy for when you do eventually get married.
But yes, you will go on to having fulfilling relationships. May Allah swt ease your suffering and grant you the most gentlest of spouses.
P.S someone just sent me a message: Fgm girl- nhs provides a free service to reconstruct it and provides therapy and help
Many charities do this and can be free of charge ! Defo do it
Anon
3 years ago
You speak so greatly about your marriage Mashallah and I hope you continue to be happy inshallah. What are some things your husband does for you daily/regularly to make you feel loved?
When I’m overwhelmed about something it’s like talking to a life coach. First I get the space to be emotional/cry and when I’m done, he will help me identify what the root cause of my hurt is coming from, then we come up with solutions to help fix it. Which usually means him fixing whatever the problem is lmao he is the best May Allah preserve him
Anon
3 years ago
I am loving your content by the way, but I have a situation myself that I wanted advise on. I’m currently dating this boy for about a year and half and things are going great. He treats me very well and he would be the perfect husband. We have had talks about marriage as it is the next big step to take, but I had some concerns as he does not have a job. His earnings are not halal either but he promised me he will change. I am afraid he won’t, I love him so much and I do want to marry him but I don’t want to start my new life like this.
Money is a necessity in this world. You need to be able to make a certain amount of money just to be able to get by. How the hell are you talking about marriage to someone who doesn’t even have a JOB?
I’m going to speak to you as if I am your big sister okay.
Do you want to be the one paying for the bills, looking after children, and cleaning. Search up triple shift and listen very closely. This is what your reality could look like. Stop being naïve and think you can survive on love. You can’t! Because either way, you are going to unlove him once you realise how badly you have disabled yourself in this relationship anyway. So what will it all be for? It’ll be for nothing.
On top of this, whatever earnings he does have, it’s not even halal. Sis, what are you doing? Is this the example you want to set your children one day? Let me tell you something, the greatest gift you can give your kids is who their father is. This guy, is the furthest thing from it.
What you’re doing now is falling for potential. Whatever new life you’re imagining it wont be good. Stop letting this man sell you dreams and start seeing what’s right in front of you!
Anon
3 years ago
Heyyy girls, hope everything is well with y’all. I was wondering what it means when a guy takes time to answer, like in my mind if we are having a conversation it should go fast rather than him replying after 15 or 20 minutes, am I trippin????
15-20 minutes? Girl what if he is taking a poo or eating food? Or speaking to his mum? YES YOU ARE TRIPPING
You are wilding sis looool you are putting way too much pressure here. Go outside and touch some grass
Anon
3 years ago
Advise on how to handle dating a baby daddy and potentially marrying him. He got somebody pregnant and married them but they didn’t last and got divorced within a year. His daughters pretty young only about a year old and he adores her but I don’t really know much about what happened during their marriage and can’t ask questions out of respect. I only know that it was too much and he seems to have small habits/traumas from it. I get so paranoid about the girl too Idk why
I generally only advise women with kids to date fathers.
For young girls with no children, dealing with men that have kids, especially not even toddlers can really be problematic. Because of how new his divorce is, and how young the baby is, it will be very hard for him to establish boundaries with the BM.
Also how do you feel sharing his with his child? His children come first ALWAYS. No matter where you both are or what you’re doing, if his children need him, he will leave everything at the drop of a hat and rush to be with them. Even if you feel like the BM, is lying and being dramatic, and is probably only saying its an emergency so she can spend time with him. You can’t do anything because you are come 2nd in this situation.
If his kids need money, get ready to cover the bill for those dinner dates, because daddy gotta financial take care of the kids. And if you encourage otherwise, like don’t see your kids, don’t give them money, know that he will be like that with your kids if you were to ever start a family one day.
Also, aren’t you questioning how he could leave his ex wife with a new born baby? Are you sure that’s the type of man you really wanna be with. If anything, that’s what you should be paranoid about.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girlies ❤️❤️
So my man doesn’t drive but I do. Every time he gets into my car he turns on the seat heating and adjusts the AC to whatever he likes 🤢 has me feeling like one sugar mama and it really makes me wanna vomit because this man has never paid for my petrol or even offered to. He even leaves the window open sometimes while the AC is on. Idk what to say to him because whatever I do say is gonna be RUDE
I’m so sorry sis LOOOOOOOOOOOL this is making me die of laughter
I don’t know what to even tell you because this alone has given me the ick Subhanallah. LOOOOOOOOOOOL wallahi when you said adjust the AC I had to gasp
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girls, I made a few suggestions and i’m so happy to see them on the website! Everything looks amazing and just makes this already great experience the tiniest bit better than it already is. I have a few more, if you’re interested! My first other suggestion was a business email! This would be great for the girls that want to go into detail but are scared and don’t feel like being anonymous is anonymous is enough (they need therapy! – our toxic culture has caused undue anxiety, but until then it would be a nice option). This would also be great to help businesses, platforms and different people contact you and collaborate. I think this platform has so much potential because there’s literally nothing like this and being open to opportunities like that would sky rocket the movement forward. A second suggestion is a “get to know your sisters” page. It would be great to know a little more about Lula and Ladan, our big sisters and eventually the sisters that write blog posts! Nothing too in depth, just a brief page about the both of you (age, marital status, goals, quick funny/quirky story, fave colour etc). It would help personify you and for us (your audience) to connect with you more.
I also see a lot of sisters on here that are a bit clueless about when getting to know a guy. https://www.thedigitalsisterhood.com/product/marriage-questionnaire-e-book-by-cadar-mohamud/
Download this questionnaire girls! I see so many problems in relationships and marriages which would be avoided by asking the right things beforehand. Obviously men are sick and can lie, but catch them off guard and don’t do it interview style and you should get a pretty good idea of who you’re messing with. There’s a few other in depth question lists online, but as a somali girl I appreciate this one most as it’s the most applicable to me.
Again, you’re doing great and amazing things wallahi. I literally mention and share this page with everyone I know because it’s so special. It’s an amazing space, honestly.
Awwww! I love these suggestions so much. I think you’re the same person who gave us suggestions last time and we actually implemented it. I love this
Thank you!
Anon
3 years ago
Heyyyy, so there’s this girl I’m friends with she always acts a type of way when me and her are alone together but when we’re with our friendship group everything’s okay and acts normal. However, one thing that’s recently pissed the fuck out of me is that me and my friends including her were supposed to go out but then my family tested positive which meant that I could no longer go out with them. My friends all expressed that they wish for my family to get better and she just completely aired the messages. When her family got Covid I kept checking I with her and asking how they were doing but she couldn’t even wish for my family to get better let alone check up on us. She also makes a lot of bitchy side comments and I’m actually over it at this point. Would it be over the top if I cut her off on the spot?
This is the problem with girl friendships, instead of confronting eachother about one’s feelings, it is easier to harbour resentment and to cut things off. Communicate.
Me and my best friends have been practicing this the last few years and it’s made everyone so close. We actually have such a healthy dynamic and as soon as someone pisses someone else off, I kid you not this is how the conversation goes.
“When I told you I was xyz, you laughed at me. I needed company and I’m there when you want to do something. This was an important moment and I felt that you weren’t concerned about my feelings.”
And the response usually is: ‘I am so sorry for upsetting you, that wasn’t my intention. You know I love you etc and I will be mindful next time.’
Then an hour later, we are all on Facetime.
You owe it to yourself and the relationship to relay your concerns, don’t just cut her off, say something. Avoid saying stuff like “You always do this” “You never xyz.” Don’t attack. Ask them to listen to your feelings rather than accuse them of things. Even if they did do something wrong, their memory of the situation might be different so be prepared for that. Also, be prepared with reasons why you feel your friend has acted selfishly so you can discuss what you’d like your friend to do instead. That’s easier than just saying, “You’re so selfish” without giving an example. You feel me?
Practice maturity and talk to your friend.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey sis. So I met this guy at work in the summer and I really liked him. He had a really good personality, was hard working, goes to a good and uni & is overall mashallah. I’ve added him on socials but I feel like if it’s meant to be it will be and I shouldn’t force things like this. At the same time I feel like it’ll be hard to come across another guy like him. Idk should I just continue and talk to him like a friend or what?
Yes! If you are interested, the last thing you should do is stop talking to him. Keep the contact, even as friends. Maybe it will blossom into something.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey lovelies.
I am 26 and I’m in a relationship with my partner for about 6 months. He is the best man I’ve met, ever. He’s older than me by 8/9 years and a man that knows exactly what he wants. He’s honest, kind, respectful, thoughtful and supportive in every way possible. We met at work and he perused me for 6 months before I agreed to be with him as I had a bad situationship before and was not looking for anything. I haven’t looked back.
Sadly, I feel relationship anxiety sometimes and doubt whether I am making the right decision as we are speaking about marriage. I have dated people in the past and nothing comes close to how amazing my partner is. I’ve not stayed long enough with others to consider marriage so for the first time I am seriously taking about getting married. I’m so anxious as never seen a healthy marriage before sadly. Is this normal? Have you seen this before? I am the eldest daughter raised in a typical harsh Somali household where immense pressure/responsibilities placed on me from early. I read somewhere that people with harsh upbringing sometimes don’t feel worthy of love or a good thing sadly 😔
The second thing is, lack of spoiling me and luxury gift giving. One of my love languages is gift giving and receiving. I think my age group like designer etc a bit more than perhaps than people around his age but I see my friends’ husbands who are my age or hunger buying them loads of designer for birthdays anniversaries etc and I wish I got that. He gets me gifts for birthdays and valentines, anniversaries etc but they are nice and more sentimental rather than luxury and glamorous. My ex used to spoil me a lot and get me spontaneous gifts and splash out on birthdays etc so can’t help comparing. I feel bad even writing this out as would hurt him he knew this is how I felt. Does that make me a b***h for feeling this way? Is it pathetic? How can I know if im just making the mistake of comparing my relationship to what I see from others ie friends and social media?
I feel like you have an anxious attachment style. Learn about your attachment style and so much will clear up for you, I promise. Watch someone called Gibson on youtube. Sometimes if you don’t recognise some of attachment styles, It can really lead to you self-sabotaging good relationships.
Regarding gift giving, like you said he gets you sentimental gifts. Isn’t that enough? I know, you probably have friends who get expensive gifts. But you do not know the whole story. Maybe their guys are bullshitting and going into overdraft to cover those gifts. Trust me, you don’t want a guy like that. Give your man a break, and stop comparing him to your ex. Look beyond the material possessions and look for the person inside that he is. Remember, he is the best man you have ever met. If you want designer handbags, maybe tell him I’d rather one gift a year than all these small ones.
Also designer bags aren’t everything. I can count on my hands how often I wear some of my bags, they literally sit there collecting dust. And once you have them, you get over the novelty of them very very quickly. If he can’t afford those things, don’t make him feel bad about it.
I HAVE NO CLIT
Hey girls ,
I’m going to try and keep my dilemma as short and simple as possible. When I was around 6 or 7 I went back home with my family , Obviously at the time I was too young to understand but I had undergone FGM. It was definitely the most painful experience thus far. I was told by family that this was a standard religious practice that everyone had to go through. I realised at the age of 15 that it was more of a cultural practice and that religion was just used to manipulate me and justify this barbaric tradition. Since learning this I feel robbed. I’m now in my early 20’s and have not dated or been with a single man because I basically have no clitoris. I shut down every potential relationship during the talking stage by ghosting them because I have crippling anxiety of opening up about this and the fear that intercourse will be extremely painful because of the FGM. Just the thought of having to tell a potential spouse is enough for me to shut off .
This past year , I’ve been speaking to a guy that I would have really liked to marry however , I have ended things with him several times because the thought of opening up about this is just too much for me. I’m tired of self-sabotaging because of something I had no control over.
I really want to be with this man so any advice would be much appreciated.
I wanted to start off saying that I am so so sorry you had to go through this. It has to be one the darkest and cruellest practice ever, and I am ashamed it is apart of our culture. No one deserves to go through that.
I think it’s valuable information to give to someone that you expect to be an open, honest, supportive partner. Also letting him know will help down the road in explaining some issues that might come out in the future. People need to know the full picture in order to be good spouses to you. If someone is scared off by it, be gone. You don’t want to be dating someone who is unable to handle the reality of your past or who has such a narrow view of abuse survivors that they would exclude you from their life based on it.
You also won’t know if sexual intercourse will be painful for you until you get married. It may be difficult or it may not. Many FGM survivors are still able to have sex, but the enjoyment part I am not really sure of. If anyone can dm me advice regarding this sister, I will post here. Also sex is not always the focal point, if you are more comfortable experimenting with intimate touch- that can ease you into intercourse in the future.
My best advice is to seek help from a qualified counsellor or sex therapist, I’m not sure but I think FGM victims can be referred to one through their GP. I just think its honestly best to actually speak to someone who has better knowledge and experience regarding past sexual trauma and how you can give yourself the skills to enhance sexual intimacy for when you do eventually get married.
But yes, you will go on to having fulfilling relationships. May Allah swt ease your suffering and grant you the most gentlest of spouses.
P.S someone just sent me a message: Fgm girl- nhs provides a free service to reconstruct it and provides therapy and help
Many charities do this and can be free of charge ! Defo do it
You speak so greatly about your marriage Mashallah and I hope you continue to be happy inshallah. What are some things your husband does for you daily/regularly to make you feel loved?
When I’m overwhelmed about something it’s like talking to a life coach. First I get the space to be emotional/cry and when I’m done, he will help me identify what the root cause of my hurt is coming from, then we come up with solutions to help fix it. Which usually means him fixing whatever the problem is lmao he is the best May Allah preserve him
I am loving your content by the way, but I have a situation myself that I wanted advise on. I’m currently dating this boy for about a year and half and things are going great. He treats me very well and he would be the perfect husband. We have had talks about marriage as it is the next big step to take, but I had some concerns as he does not have a job. His earnings are not halal either but he promised me he will change. I am afraid he won’t, I love him so much and I do want to marry him but I don’t want to start my new life like this.
Love don’t pay the bills
Money is a necessity in this world. You need to be able to make a certain amount of money just to be able to get by. How the hell are you talking about marriage to someone who doesn’t even have a JOB?
I’m going to speak to you as if I am your big sister okay.
Do you want to be the one paying for the bills, looking after children, and cleaning. Search up triple shift and listen very closely. This is what your reality could look like. Stop being naïve and think you can survive on love. You can’t! Because either way, you are going to unlove him once you realise how badly you have disabled yourself in this relationship anyway. So what will it all be for? It’ll be for nothing.
On top of this, whatever earnings he does have, it’s not even halal. Sis, what are you doing? Is this the example you want to set your children one day? Let me tell you something, the greatest gift you can give your kids is who their father is. This guy, is the furthest thing from it.
What you’re doing now is falling for potential. Whatever new life you’re imagining it wont be good. Stop letting this man sell you dreams and start seeing what’s right in front of you!
Heyyy girls, hope everything is well with y’all. I was wondering what it means when a guy takes time to answer, like in my mind if we are having a conversation it should go fast rather than him replying after 15 or 20 minutes, am I trippin????
15-20 minutes? Girl what if he is taking a poo or eating food? Or speaking to his mum? YES YOU ARE TRIPPING
You are wilding sis looool you are putting way too much pressure here. Go outside and touch some grass
Advise on how to handle dating a baby daddy and potentially marrying him. He got somebody pregnant and married them but they didn’t last and got divorced within a year. His daughters pretty young only about a year old and he adores her but I don’t really know much about what happened during their marriage and can’t ask questions out of respect. I only know that it was too much and he seems to have small habits/traumas from it. I get so paranoid about the girl too Idk why
I generally only advise women with kids to date fathers.
For young girls with no children, dealing with men that have kids, especially not even toddlers can really be problematic. Because of how new his divorce is, and how young the baby is, it will be very hard for him to establish boundaries with the BM.
Also how do you feel sharing his with his child? His children come first ALWAYS. No matter where you both are or what you’re doing, if his children need him, he will leave everything at the drop of a hat and rush to be with them. Even if you feel like the BM, is lying and being dramatic, and is probably only saying its an emergency so she can spend time with him. You can’t do anything because you are come 2nd in this situation.
If his kids need money, get ready to cover the bill for those dinner dates, because daddy gotta financial take care of the kids. And if you encourage otherwise, like don’t see your kids, don’t give them money, know that he will be like that with your kids if you were to ever start a family one day.
Also, aren’t you questioning how he could leave his ex wife with a new born baby? Are you sure that’s the type of man you really wanna be with. If anything, that’s what you should be paranoid about.
Hey girlies ❤️❤️
So my man doesn’t drive but I do. Every time he gets into my car he turns on the seat heating and adjusts the AC to whatever he likes 🤢 has me feeling like one sugar mama and it really makes me wanna vomit because this man has never paid for my petrol or even offered to. He even leaves the window open sometimes while the AC is on. Idk what to say to him because whatever I do say is gonna be RUDE
I’m so sorry sis LOOOOOOOOOOOL this is making me die of laughter
I don’t know what to even tell you because this alone has given me the ick Subhanallah. LOOOOOOOOOOOL wallahi when you said adjust the AC I had to gasp
Hey girls, I made a few suggestions and i’m so happy to see them on the website! Everything looks amazing and just makes this already great experience the tiniest bit better than it already is. I have a few more, if you’re interested! My first other suggestion was a business email! This would be great for the girls that want to go into detail but are scared and don’t feel like being anonymous is anonymous is enough (they need therapy! – our toxic culture has caused undue anxiety, but until then it would be a nice option). This would also be great to help businesses, platforms and different people contact you and collaborate. I think this platform has so much potential because there’s literally nothing like this and being open to opportunities like that would sky rocket the movement forward. A second suggestion is a “get to know your sisters” page. It would be great to know a little more about Lula and Ladan, our big sisters and eventually the sisters that write blog posts! Nothing too in depth, just a brief page about the both of you (age, marital status, goals, quick funny/quirky story, fave colour etc). It would help personify you and for us (your audience) to connect with you more.
I also see a lot of sisters on here that are a bit clueless about when getting to know a guy. https://www.thedigitalsisterhood.com/product/marriage-questionnaire-e-book-by-cadar-mohamud/
Download this questionnaire girls! I see so many problems in relationships and marriages which would be avoided by asking the right things beforehand. Obviously men are sick and can lie, but catch them off guard and don’t do it interview style and you should get a pretty good idea of who you’re messing with. There’s a few other in depth question lists online, but as a somali girl I appreciate this one most as it’s the most applicable to me.
Again, you’re doing great and amazing things wallahi. I literally mention and share this page with everyone I know because it’s so special. It’s an amazing space, honestly.
Awwww! I love these suggestions so much. I think you’re the same person who gave us suggestions last time and we actually implemented it. I love this
Thank you!
Heyyyy, so there’s this girl I’m friends with she always acts a type of way when me and her are alone together but when we’re with our friendship group everything’s okay and acts normal. However, one thing that’s recently pissed the fuck out of me is that me and my friends including her were supposed to go out but then my family tested positive which meant that I could no longer go out with them. My friends all expressed that they wish for my family to get better and she just completely aired the messages. When her family got Covid I kept checking I with her and asking how they were doing but she couldn’t even wish for my family to get better let alone check up on us. She also makes a lot of bitchy side comments and I’m actually over it at this point. Would it be over the top if I cut her off on the spot?
This is the problem with girl friendships, instead of confronting eachother about one’s feelings, it is easier to harbour resentment and to cut things off. Communicate.
Me and my best friends have been practicing this the last few years and it’s made everyone so close. We actually have such a healthy dynamic and as soon as someone pisses someone else off, I kid you not this is how the conversation goes.
“When I told you I was xyz, you laughed at me. I needed company and I’m there when you want to do something. This was an important moment and I felt that you weren’t concerned about my feelings.”
And the response usually is: ‘I am so sorry for upsetting you, that wasn’t my intention. You know I love you etc and I will be mindful next time.’
Then an hour later, we are all on Facetime.
You owe it to yourself and the relationship to relay your concerns, don’t just cut her off, say something. Avoid saying stuff like “You always do this” “You never xyz.” Don’t attack. Ask them to listen to your feelings rather than accuse them of things. Even if they did do something wrong, their memory of the situation might be different so be prepared for that. Also, be prepared with reasons why you feel your friend has acted selfishly so you can discuss what you’d like your friend to do instead. That’s easier than just saying, “You’re so selfish” without giving an example. You feel me?
Practice maturity and talk to your friend.
Hey sis. So I met this guy at work in the summer and I really liked him. He had a really good personality, was hard working, goes to a good and uni & is overall mashallah. I’ve added him on socials but I feel like if it’s meant to be it will be and I shouldn’t force things like this. At the same time I feel like it’ll be hard to come across another guy like him. Idk should I just continue and talk to him like a friend or what?
Yes! If you are interested, the last thing you should do is stop talking to him. Keep the contact, even as friends. Maybe it will blossom into something.
Hey lovelies.
I am 26 and I’m in a relationship with my partner for about 6 months. He is the best man I’ve met, ever. He’s older than me by 8/9 years and a man that knows exactly what he wants. He’s honest, kind, respectful, thoughtful and supportive in every way possible. We met at work and he perused me for 6 months before I agreed to be with him as I had a bad situationship before and was not looking for anything. I haven’t looked back.
Sadly, I feel relationship anxiety sometimes and doubt whether I am making the right decision as we are speaking about marriage. I have dated people in the past and nothing comes close to how amazing my partner is. I’ve not stayed long enough with others to consider marriage so for the first time I am seriously taking about getting married. I’m so anxious as never seen a healthy marriage before sadly. Is this normal? Have you seen this before? I am the eldest daughter raised in a typical harsh Somali household where immense pressure/responsibilities placed on me from early. I read somewhere that people with harsh upbringing sometimes don’t feel worthy of love or a good thing sadly 😔
The second thing is, lack of spoiling me and luxury gift giving. One of my love languages is gift giving and receiving. I think my age group like designer etc a bit more than perhaps than people around his age but I see my friends’ husbands who are my age or hunger buying them loads of designer for birthdays anniversaries etc and I wish I got that. He gets me gifts for birthdays and valentines, anniversaries etc but they are nice and more sentimental rather than luxury and glamorous. My ex used to spoil me a lot and get me spontaneous gifts and splash out on birthdays etc so can’t help comparing. I feel bad even writing this out as would hurt him he knew this is how I felt. Does that make me a b***h for feeling this way? Is it pathetic? How can I know if im just making the mistake of comparing my relationship to what I see from others ie friends and social media?
Sorry this was long. Thanks 😘
I feel like you have an anxious attachment style. Learn about your attachment style and so much will clear up for you, I promise. Watch someone called Gibson on youtube. Sometimes if you don’t recognise some of attachment styles, It can really lead to you self-sabotaging good relationships.
Regarding gift giving, like you said he gets you sentimental gifts. Isn’t that enough? I know, you probably have friends who get expensive gifts. But you do not know the whole story. Maybe their guys are bullshitting and going into overdraft to cover those gifts. Trust me, you don’t want a guy like that. Give your man a break, and stop comparing him to your ex. Look beyond the material possessions and look for the person inside that he is. Remember, he is the best man you have ever met. If you want designer handbags, maybe tell him I’d rather one gift a year than all these small ones.
Also designer bags aren’t everything. I can count on my hands how often I wear some of my bags, they literally sit there collecting dust. And once you have them, you get over the novelty of them very very quickly. If he can’t afford those things, don’t make him feel bad about it.