My MIL lives with us and she has her own double en-suite bedroom while we have the box room which we share with our newborn. She doesn’t let me use the kitchen. She doesn’t pay rent or bills. Is this fair?
At the end of the day it’s his Mother. You can’t really do much other than communicate how uncomfortable you feel. Also it really depends, is she staying with you to help with your newborn? Because in that case she deserves the en-suite. But if she’s not doing much other than stressing you out, speak to your Husband and reason with him.
Anon
3 years ago
hey sis, I just wanted to ask what your thoughts are on having high standards, I know us women want a man to provide and give us gifts and the whole 9, but I just feel like realistically in this climate we can’t all have that. In this economy??? Do you think it’s okay to go half’s if he’s a good guy with deen bc I feel like if you’re not that attractive having these high standards aren’t gonna work and we’ll just end up alone 😭
You need to decide what works for you. I agree, the chances of having it all in this climate are unrealistic. But you have to decide what you are okay with and what you are not.
If you are going to be okay with going halves, that’s honestly fine. But you can’t bring it up later if you decide to change your mind. Whatever the standard you have set for yourself now is what will last. It doesn’t matter what I think, because regardless it’s going to be you that’s living with it. Don’t settle because you think you won’t end up with what you want, because then that won’t make you happy either. You’re merely just repressing how you truly feel and it will resurface later.
Personally finances is something I am really firm on. I know one day I want to have children, and I want to raise my children properly. I can’t do that If I have to work whilst also recovering from post partum. Do you see where I am going? During that very vulnerable time, I need someone who is going to look after me financially. Everything else regarding money is just a bonus and not essential like gifts etc. I like it, but I won’t die you feel me? But If I am not being financially held down whilst I am bearing children I will fucking struggle trying to do both.
Anon
3 years ago
Heyyyy girlies, I was wondering if there’s a way for you to answer a question sent but not reveal the question sent? Or even select a certain part of the question instead of the whole passage? I only ask this because the situation I want to ask about will be very bait since the people it’s about follow this page.
Hiya, I saw on Twitter that you’re into programming. I’m struggling with my statistics at university and I need help learning how to use stata. Everything being online this semester doesn’t help either. Do you know any resources I could use like any websites?
This website really helps me, it has a list of resources to a lot key areas in programming.
Anon
3 years ago
Hi Lula,
I love this page, keeps me entertained during my breaks at work etc, may Allah reward you for keeping it real with all of us!!
I wanted some advice on getting over a semi serious relationship. We Met online and spent a couple of weeks in person together as our cities were not too far apart. I eventually ended things because he ended up showing his true colors and being disrespectful etc. He basically admitted to not actually wanting a future marriage with me etc. i ended things and blocked him everywhere, but I can’t seem to get over the connection that we had and can’t help but think I will never find someone else like that. Any thoughts??
In regards to getting over him, a lot of people think you can only have a connection with one person, well that’s not really true. In fact you can have chemistry with several people, and sometimes that chemistry can be based on nothing and you can usually tell that when it doesn’t go the distance, and in this case it hasn’t. Sometimes us women can be confused when we experienced a connection with one person and assume that this has to be the one. Not really, everyone is just a potential to the build up in finding the one.
The one is really the one when you’ve been with a person long enough to find out. Don’t stress yourself. There will be others sis.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey,
I’ve been talking to this guy and have implied to him that if his hairline was to recede when we get married I would want him to either go bald or get a hair transplant . SIS , but the gag is my hairline is nonexistent , edges are no where to be seen LOOOOL and I wear a hijab so he hasn’t seen. I don’t know what to do. Its my fault really because my hair is always in a tight bun and I’m not going to exactly tell a man.
Damn. Not the pot calling the kettle black! I don’t even know what to say looooool you have really set yourself up. He is going to be very shocked to see the jawback especially considering how strong your views are on hair loss. Should have shut your mouth looooooool ah sis what have you done
Maybe get a wig?
Anon
3 years ago
How do you start enforcing boundaries in your life with different relationships, I feel like I’m that funny friend that no one takes series lmao but it’s be recently had some really bad failing out with some close friends and i feel like I need to be more tonight with boundaries but everyone seems so nice tell their not and I fee failing for their fake persona , how do I become more aware of these and walking with it with out it getting me down because I want to still be that kind person and not a bitch but it’s so hard when people are mean and horrible
If you want to be taken seriously, act like someone who is taken seriously. People will more likely cross boundaries when they think you can be taken as a joke. So in public pay attention, always look like you know what you are doing, and act as composed as possible. Be mindful who you share tea with, don’t tell tea to everyone. People will more likely to throw you under the buss if they think you know stuff. Act dumb. Any time you have a problem with someone, bring it up. Be confrontational in a mature way.
Anon
3 years ago
I feel like I have all the makings of a good partner and seem to get on well enough with most of the guys I talk to but I can never seem to “seal the deal”, what am I doing wrong?
Be patient but consider all things. The person you are looking for, what do they want? What are they looking for? Once you figure that out, you will actually become the type of person that is wanted by the type of people that you want to be with.
Anon
3 years ago
Fiancé didn’t want to legally marry. Somewhat managed to change his mind but he’s INSISTING on a pre nup and won’t budge. I feel like if I sign it it would limit what I can claim of his wealth of divorce ever happens
Okay I understand your concern, but when you communicate how uncomfortable this makes you feel, do not say “It would limit the claim you have to his wealth” PLEASE.
But if you want me to be entirely honest, you shouldn’t set a wedding date until you have a formal conversation regarding finances and assets, even more so considering how clear that means to him.
Anon
3 years ago
hey how are you both! thanks for creating this page.
I am in a dillema with my close guy friend of 6+ years. One drunken night, he confessed to have feelings for me, we moved on like nothng happened the next day. Whenever we hang out he will make subtle indicators that he finds me attractive.
I am not sure how I feel, I like him as a person and I know how kind he is, he is one of my closest friends. The issue is he is unemployed & not settled in his career. He is 28 (btw). What do you think I should do? should I sit him down and get him to fully confess & then re-wire our friendship or should I leave it as it is and continue to ignore his jabs..thanks!
The friendship is done sis. In fact I don’t think it was ever was, he was probably waiting for his moment to slide in. And that was that moment.
But like you said he is 28, unemployed & not settled in his career. Not saying he is underserving of love, but yeah I think you know what I mean. 28, unemployed.
My MIL lives with us and she has her own double en-suite bedroom while we have the box room which we share with our newborn. She doesn’t let me use the kitchen. She doesn’t pay rent or bills. Is this fair?
At the end of the day it’s his Mother. You can’t really do much other than communicate how uncomfortable you feel. Also it really depends, is she staying with you to help with your newborn? Because in that case she deserves the en-suite. But if she’s not doing much other than stressing you out, speak to your Husband and reason with him.
hey sis, I just wanted to ask what your thoughts are on having high standards, I know us women want a man to provide and give us gifts and the whole 9, but I just feel like realistically in this climate we can’t all have that. In this economy??? Do you think it’s okay to go half’s if he’s a good guy with deen bc I feel like if you’re not that attractive having these high standards aren’t gonna work and we’ll just end up alone 😭
You need to decide what works for you. I agree, the chances of having it all in this climate are unrealistic. But you have to decide what you are okay with and what you are not.
If you are going to be okay with going halves, that’s honestly fine. But you can’t bring it up later if you decide to change your mind. Whatever the standard you have set for yourself now is what will last. It doesn’t matter what I think, because regardless it’s going to be you that’s living with it. Don’t settle because you think you won’t end up with what you want, because then that won’t make you happy either. You’re merely just repressing how you truly feel and it will resurface later.
Personally finances is something I am really firm on. I know one day I want to have children, and I want to raise my children properly. I can’t do that If I have to work whilst also recovering from post partum. Do you see where I am going? During that very vulnerable time, I need someone who is going to look after me financially. Everything else regarding money is just a bonus and not essential like gifts etc. I like it, but I won’t die you feel me? But If I am not being financially held down whilst I am bearing children I will fucking struggle trying to do both.
Heyyyy girlies, I was wondering if there’s a way for you to answer a question sent but not reveal the question sent? Or even select a certain part of the question instead of the whole passage? I only ask this because the situation I want to ask about will be very bait since the people it’s about follow this page.
You can dm our instagram account @thesisterguidepodcast
Hiya, I saw on Twitter that you’re into programming. I’m struggling with my statistics at university and I need help learning how to use stata. Everything being online this semester doesn’t help either. Do you know any resources I could use like any websites?
https://statisticsglobe.com/statistics-data-science-programming-resources
This website really helps me, it has a list of resources to a lot key areas in programming.
Hi Lula,
I love this page, keeps me entertained during my breaks at work etc, may Allah reward you for keeping it real with all of us!!
I wanted some advice on getting over a semi serious relationship. We Met online and spent a couple of weeks in person together as our cities were not too far apart. I eventually ended things because he ended up showing his true colors and being disrespectful etc. He basically admitted to not actually wanting a future marriage with me etc. i ended things and blocked him everywhere, but I can’t seem to get over the connection that we had and can’t help but think I will never find someone else like that. Any thoughts??
Aww I love this so much!!! Ameen sis
In regards to getting over him, a lot of people think you can only have a connection with one person, well that’s not really true. In fact you can have chemistry with several people, and sometimes that chemistry can be based on nothing and you can usually tell that when it doesn’t go the distance, and in this case it hasn’t. Sometimes us women can be confused when we experienced a connection with one person and assume that this has to be the one. Not really, everyone is just a potential to the build up in finding the one.
The one is really the one when you’ve been with a person long enough to find out. Don’t stress yourself. There will be others sis.
Hey,
I’ve been talking to this guy and have implied to him that if his hairline was to recede when we get married I would want him to either go bald or get a hair transplant . SIS , but the gag is my hairline is nonexistent , edges are no where to be seen LOOOOL and I wear a hijab so he hasn’t seen. I don’t know what to do. Its my fault really because my hair is always in a tight bun and I’m not going to exactly tell a man.
Damn. Not the pot calling the kettle black! I don’t even know what to say looooool you have really set yourself up. He is going to be very shocked to see the jawback especially considering how strong your views are on hair loss. Should have shut your mouth looooooool ah sis what have you done
Maybe get a wig?
How do you start enforcing boundaries in your life with different relationships, I feel like I’m that funny friend that no one takes series lmao but it’s be recently had some really bad failing out with some close friends and i feel like I need to be more tonight with boundaries but everyone seems so nice tell their not and I fee failing for their fake persona , how do I become more aware of these and walking with it with out it getting me down because I want to still be that kind person and not a bitch but it’s so hard when people are mean and horrible
If you want to be taken seriously, act like someone who is taken seriously. People will more likely cross boundaries when they think you can be taken as a joke. So in public pay attention, always look like you know what you are doing, and act as composed as possible. Be mindful who you share tea with, don’t tell tea to everyone. People will more likely to throw you under the buss if they think you know stuff. Act dumb. Any time you have a problem with someone, bring it up. Be confrontational in a mature way.
I feel like I have all the makings of a good partner and seem to get on well enough with most of the guys I talk to but I can never seem to “seal the deal”, what am I doing wrong?
Be patient but consider all things. The person you are looking for, what do they want? What are they looking for? Once you figure that out, you will actually become the type of person that is wanted by the type of people that you want to be with.
Fiancé didn’t want to legally marry. Somewhat managed to change his mind but he’s INSISTING on a pre nup and won’t budge. I feel like if I sign it it would limit what I can claim of his wealth of divorce ever happens
Okay I understand your concern, but when you communicate how uncomfortable this makes you feel, do not say “It would limit the claim you have to his wealth” PLEASE.
But if you want me to be entirely honest, you shouldn’t set a wedding date until you have a formal conversation regarding finances and assets, even more so considering how clear that means to him.
hey how are you both! thanks for creating this page.
I am in a dillema with my close guy friend of 6+ years. One drunken night, he confessed to have feelings for me, we moved on like nothng happened the next day. Whenever we hang out he will make subtle indicators that he finds me attractive.
I am not sure how I feel, I like him as a person and I know how kind he is, he is one of my closest friends. The issue is he is unemployed & not settled in his career. He is 28 (btw). What do you think I should do? should I sit him down and get him to fully confess & then re-wire our friendship or should I leave it as it is and continue to ignore his jabs..thanks!
The friendship is done sis. In fact I don’t think it was ever was, he was probably waiting for his moment to slide in. And that was that moment.
But like you said he is 28, unemployed & not settled in his career. Not saying he is underserving of love, but yeah I think you know what I mean. 28, unemployed.