Men will marry you if you have nothing, they don’t care. But in my opinion, it is important for YOURSELF. Have something for yourself when you get married. Because if your husband turns around tomorrow and divorces you, what will you be left with? What prospects will you have?
Anon
3 years ago
Hey, thank you so much for creating this page, as you can tell so many of us needed this space x. I was hoping you could recommend good quality cookware, dining sets, bedding etc. as I have no idea where to begin looking. Thank you 🙂
Bedding, go to dunelm right now its 20% off selected bedsheets.
Parisa Geometric White Duvet Cover and Pillowcase Set
Fogarty Soft Touch White Duvet Cover and Pillowcase Set
Aria Seersucker White 100% Cotton Duvet and Pillowcase Set
These bedsheets make you feel like you’re sleeping in a hotel
Also go to Snug City and get the mattress protector. It has a bit of padding so it makes it extra comfy. In fact get a bed warmer too for the winter, ah its so sexy honestly. It’ll make you want to spend hours in bed.
Cookware
For bowls and stuff, I went to IKEA because I wanted them to match my kitchen and look neutral. Every bowl is pretty much the same but ikea has alot of range.
I was quite specific with my pans because the place I live in have an electric stove, i bought mine on ilimiti Store
Not sure If I should start an extra page on here so I can give other suggestions ???
A thousand splendid suns
the kite runner
all the fire & ice books
the alchemist
the perks of being a wallflower
and the mountains echoes
the book thief
a house without windows
Anon
3 years ago
Any tips on being happy and enjoy life even when things are hard or don’t go to plan
Remember Allah’s timing is the best timing. Everything I wanted before I am glad I don’t have now. But if you said that to me then, I would have been stubborn and wanted it anyway.
The is really a light at the end of the tunnel, after every hardship comes ease. You need to have flexibility in you life, being able to adapt is crucial. Sometimes the best moments happen unplanned and the greatest regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned. You just have to be ready for everything and anything.
Sometime’s shit happens and it knocks you down but you have to get up and just keep going. Because look at it this way, you’re going to still be unhappy if you let yourself be down. So you might as well get up and just change something.
There’s a saying before my teacher told me and wallahi i feel like I have held onto this my whole life. ‘All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle’
Find that one thing that makes you happy and hold on to it dearly.
Step back and remember not everything is about you. Realise that usually, people don’t care about you. And if they say something offensive or just straight up nasty it’s probably because things aren’t great in their world and they’re taking it out on you. That’s called projection.
Whenever I experience stuff like that NOW, I actually don’t care. I think when you’re in a bad place stuff like that will get to you, especially when you’re not happy yourself. But you have to look around and and remind yourself of all the ways that you’re GOOD. “I have amazing friends, an amazing partner, a beautiful life” there’s nothing anyone can say to you that’ll hurt because regardless, you are GOOD. No one can even reach you up here. That’s how you have to see it
Regarding genuine criticism from your loved ones, step back and just reflect a little. Remember these people love you and aren’t trying to hurt you. Sometimes it just takes a second to just sit back and calm down a little, then you realise they’re not even being rude. They’re just explaining to you what hurt them.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey Lulu + Ladan, I always keep up with the dilemmas and your answers and I think it’s my time to come to you with my issues loool! I am currently in a serious relationship with a guy and our families are both aware and planned our marriage for the upcoming summer. I know it might be crazy considering that, I still have slight doubts about the guy. I feel like the only reason why we are in a serious relationship is because of the pressure I’m feeling about marriage due to my age and how serious he wants to be with me. Firstly, I’ve dated many men and with them I always found issues and left as I’m very picky and I will leave a guy for the smallest thing but with this guy I’ve held on. He overshares so much and has no filter which sometimes makes me feel weird because he is just too comfortable with me (his personal life, his family and finances). I had requirements for a husband and he meets 80% of them I don’t know if I should compromise on the remaining 20% as one of them was really important to me. He treats me extremely nicely which sometimes makes me feel weird. I’m used to slight toxicness but this guy has none of it at all. I sometimes get bored of him because of that. When I say overly nice it’s makes me feel like weird. But I can’t help the ick (I think it’s his niceness and the way he pronounces some words) I sometimes get and the doubts I feel. Also should I be compromising on the remaining 20% idk if I’ll find someone that will 100% satisfy me. He is a very respected and calm person. Sometimes I feel like I’m full of kibir and don’t deserve him but sometimes i can’t stand him. Helppppp
Okay as much as you are coming across as a sweet heart someone has to tell you the truth. You are obviously not getting married for the right reasons.
Saying stuff like “I can’t stand him” “He gives me the ick” “he’s too comfortable with me” and that “you get bored of him” is crazy to me. Listen to yourself, you don’t even sound like you LIKE him let alone love him. I don’t even think he ticks 80% of your boxes because the way you’re describing him if as though he is the only one that is available and you might as well just go for it because you want to be married. I am glad you are being brutally honest and regardless none of this can even come back to you but you need to reflect for a second. Imagine he is excited to be getting married, he has told all his friends, but behind his back his wife to be is saying stuff like this about him. Ah man this is really ruthless I can’t lie.
My advice is minor issues now will become major inconveniences later. All the small icks you’re overlooking now will become the bane of your life later. If you stay with this guy, you will end up resenting your partner for being himself. It’s better to make the moves to leave now before you potential destroy this mans heart
Anon
3 years ago
honestly the advice you’re going is so amazing May allah grant you eternal happiness wallahi I sincerely mean it! I’m really out here learning a lot!! So my dilemma is not really a big one but here goes!
I met a guy and when I tell you he’s honestly the loveliest person I’ve ever met. We have spoken about the marriage topic and it’s heading in the right direction but I’m worried about a few things. First I have acne prone skin and alhamdulillah my skin has cleared up a lot but when I break out my face genuinely looks disgusting and I don’t want that to put him off if that’s the face he’s gonna wake up to sometimes. Also I like to sleep with repairing balms that leave a white caste so my skin is calm at night. Do you think I’m overthinking this? I do want to look sexy for my man but like I literally have skin issues lol that’s stopping that. He does say that he doesn’t care about my acne and how he loves me regardless but imagine if he starts resenting me years later because of my appearance at home.
Another thing that’s worrying me about marriage is my weight. Like these lockdowns have made me so big. My stomach is not looking cute and my back too. I’m hoping to lose weight but I’m worried that if he gets one look at me in my natural state, with the fat and the acne, he’s gonna be so disgusted and turned off by me.
Awwww I feel like all girls go through this 😭 when someone loves you they genuinely see past all that. And if I’m being completely honest, men really don’t care
Regarding skincare at night, you don’t actually have to do it right before you get into bed. You can go to bed and have pillowtalk and then afterwards go put on your face balm if that makes sense? I sleep with face masks quite often and I only put it literally the second I am about to sleep. But when I’m in bed reading or on my phone, I won’t put it on.
Also if you’re thinking about sleepwear, there’s so many nice fitting lingerie styles for curvy bodies. Savage x FENTY is probably the best one imo. Some of their stuff can really suck in your love handles on the sides.
Now with your weight, you’re not getting married tomorrow. But if you know you want to get married, start your fitness journey now if that is going to make you feel comfort. Honestly it doesn’t have to be that drastic. This month you can aim to do 8-10k steps a day and cut out eating by 7pm.
But even without all of this, you’ll be fine. Everyone is apprehensive when they’re about to move in with someone else. After a few months it literally starts to feel like you live with family, that’s how comfortable you get
Anon
3 years ago
I am quite fond of this guy who has said he wants to get to know me but he does not really make that much of an effort. Although, I know he is attracted to me. I am used to speaking to a guy pretty much everyday and having regular phone calls. Whereas we may not speak for a few days.
If he can go a few days without speaking to you I wouldn’t even waste my time. Especially when it’s early days. Because if you do pursue this relationship and it goes somewhere, this is what his communication skills are gonna look like. And he will be totally fine going however long not speaking to you
Anon
3 years ago
Hey sis. I need some advice on this situation that I’m currently. I’ve been speaking to a guy for about 3 months now, I’m 25 and he’s 34. He’s a gentleman, takes me out on dates, picks me up and always pays. For the past 3 months we speak almost everyday, he always checks in with me and gives me a call. My issue is that he hasn’t really spoken about what he wants and if he wants this to lead to marriage, I believe that he should defo know after 3 months of dating and regular talking if he sees this leading to marriage. And my pride won’t let me bring it up first. Also, I’m not even entirely sure about him but part of me feels like it’s mainly due to his lack of taking the lead, I begin to lose interest if a guy isn’t forthcoming about his feelings and want he wants. So should I confront him or distant myself and eventually cut him off.
3 months is relatively early, I would even say wait after 6 months to have THAT conversation. You guys just met each other. It’s far too soon. 90 days? It’s risky imo especially because pre marriage talks so early on can really rock the getting to know each other stage. You could ruin a good thing coming a bit fast. He might be taken aback if you do. Also take it this way, if my husband had ask me about marriage 3 months in I would have be like nah this is too serious. However by 8 months my opinion changed DRASTICALLY.
Opinions on marriage can definitely change when someone is really really into you and can’t see anything outside of the relationship. I feel like the reason you’re not entirely sure of him is because you’re just waiting for him to talk about marriage. Realistically that’s not going to happen unless both of you want something quick. He’s 34 so he has lived a little and can probably see past the infatuation stage. He might want to see if this is something meaningful and I would agree. Don’t cut him off that’s really irrational. if you really can’t wait just have a conversation but honestly I wouldn’t advise you too. Because you sound like it’s do or die and it is coming off far too strong. This is month 3 lady
Anon
3 years ago
Salam ladies!! Love your page Mash’Allah, keep it up! This guy popped up to me, and we shared socials. It’s been almost a day of us talking (when I’m writing this). But he takes a while to reply, he’d either reply within 5-10minutes or hours lol, but it’s mostly hours. I’m new to this so I don’t know what to expect. Of course I do consider that everyone is living their own life so no idea what he is getting up to. I am maybe overthinking it so probably just not need to rush. Surely, when you pop up to someone to get to know them you’d always check your phone or want to talk every moment possible. I’m quite unsure. Thank you!! Xx
It’s literally the first day, he probably doesn’t want to come across eager. It’s been a few days since you’ve sent this so hopefully the conversation has been going on since 😭 please update me
How important is a degree when it comes to the man you want to marry?
Men will marry you if you have nothing, they don’t care. But in my opinion, it is important for YOURSELF. Have something for yourself when you get married. Because if your husband turns around tomorrow and divorces you, what will you be left with? What prospects will you have?
Hey, thank you so much for creating this page, as you can tell so many of us needed this space x. I was hoping you could recommend good quality cookware, dining sets, bedding etc. as I have no idea where to begin looking. Thank you 🙂
Listen this is my bag!!!
Bedding, go to dunelm right now its 20% off selected bedsheets.
Parisa Geometric White Duvet Cover and Pillowcase Set
Fogarty Soft Touch White Duvet Cover and Pillowcase Set
Aria Seersucker White 100% Cotton Duvet and Pillowcase Set
These bedsheets make you feel like you’re sleeping in a hotel
Also go to Snug City and get the mattress protector. It has a bit of padding so it makes it extra comfy. In fact get a bed warmer too for the winter, ah its so sexy honestly. It’ll make you want to spend hours in bed.
Cookware
For bowls and stuff, I went to IKEA because I wanted them to match my kitchen and look neutral. Every bowl is pretty much the same but ikea has alot of range.
I was quite specific with my pans because the place I live in have an electric stove, i bought mine on ilimiti Store
Not sure If I should start an extra page on here so I can give other suggestions ???
What’s are you fav books
A thousand splendid suns
the kite runner
all the fire & ice books
the alchemist
the perks of being a wallflower
and the mountains echoes
the book thief
a house without windows
Any tips on being happy and enjoy life even when things are hard or don’t go to plan
Remember Allah’s timing is the best timing. Everything I wanted before I am glad I don’t have now. But if you said that to me then, I would have been stubborn and wanted it anyway.
The is really a light at the end of the tunnel, after every hardship comes ease. You need to have flexibility in you life, being able to adapt is crucial. Sometimes the best moments happen unplanned and the greatest regrets happen by not reaching exactly what was planned. You just have to be ready for everything and anything.
Sometime’s shit happens and it knocks you down but you have to get up and just keep going. Because look at it this way, you’re going to still be unhappy if you let yourself be down. So you might as well get up and just change something.
There’s a saying before my teacher told me and wallahi i feel like I have held onto this my whole life. ‘All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle’
Find that one thing that makes you happy and hold on to it dearly.
How do you stop taking things personal
Step back and remember not everything is about you. Realise that usually, people don’t care about you. And if they say something offensive or just straight up nasty it’s probably because things aren’t great in their world and they’re taking it out on you. That’s called projection.
Whenever I experience stuff like that NOW, I actually don’t care. I think when you’re in a bad place stuff like that will get to you, especially when you’re not happy yourself. But you have to look around and and remind yourself of all the ways that you’re GOOD. “I have amazing friends, an amazing partner, a beautiful life” there’s nothing anyone can say to you that’ll hurt because regardless, you are GOOD. No one can even reach you up here. That’s how you have to see it
Regarding genuine criticism from your loved ones, step back and just reflect a little. Remember these people love you and aren’t trying to hurt you. Sometimes it just takes a second to just sit back and calm down a little, then you realise they’re not even being rude. They’re just explaining to you what hurt them.
Hey Lulu + Ladan, I always keep up with the dilemmas and your answers and I think it’s my time to come to you with my issues loool! I am currently in a serious relationship with a guy and our families are both aware and planned our marriage for the upcoming summer. I know it might be crazy considering that, I still have slight doubts about the guy. I feel like the only reason why we are in a serious relationship is because of the pressure I’m feeling about marriage due to my age and how serious he wants to be with me. Firstly, I’ve dated many men and with them I always found issues and left as I’m very picky and I will leave a guy for the smallest thing but with this guy I’ve held on. He overshares so much and has no filter which sometimes makes me feel weird because he is just too comfortable with me (his personal life, his family and finances). I had requirements for a husband and he meets 80% of them I don’t know if I should compromise on the remaining 20% as one of them was really important to me. He treats me extremely nicely which sometimes makes me feel weird. I’m used to slight toxicness but this guy has none of it at all. I sometimes get bored of him because of that. When I say overly nice it’s makes me feel like weird. But I can’t help the ick (I think it’s his niceness and the way he pronounces some words) I sometimes get and the doubts I feel. Also should I be compromising on the remaining 20% idk if I’ll find someone that will 100% satisfy me. He is a very respected and calm person. Sometimes I feel like I’m full of kibir and don’t deserve him but sometimes i can’t stand him. Helppppp
Okay as much as you are coming across as a sweet heart someone has to tell you the truth. You are obviously not getting married for the right reasons.
Saying stuff like “I can’t stand him” “He gives me the ick” “he’s too comfortable with me” and that “you get bored of him” is crazy to me. Listen to yourself, you don’t even sound like you LIKE him let alone love him. I don’t even think he ticks 80% of your boxes because the way you’re describing him if as though he is the only one that is available and you might as well just go for it because you want to be married. I am glad you are being brutally honest and regardless none of this can even come back to you but you need to reflect for a second. Imagine he is excited to be getting married, he has told all his friends, but behind his back his wife to be is saying stuff like this about him. Ah man this is really ruthless I can’t lie.
My advice is minor issues now will become major inconveniences later. All the small icks you’re overlooking now will become the bane of your life later. If you stay with this guy, you will end up resenting your partner for being himself. It’s better to make the moves to leave now before you potential destroy this mans heart
honestly the advice you’re going is so amazing May allah grant you eternal happiness wallahi I sincerely mean it! I’m really out here learning a lot!! So my dilemma is not really a big one but here goes!
I met a guy and when I tell you he’s honestly the loveliest person I’ve ever met. We have spoken about the marriage topic and it’s heading in the right direction but I’m worried about a few things. First I have acne prone skin and alhamdulillah my skin has cleared up a lot but when I break out my face genuinely looks disgusting and I don’t want that to put him off if that’s the face he’s gonna wake up to sometimes. Also I like to sleep with repairing balms that leave a white caste so my skin is calm at night. Do you think I’m overthinking this? I do want to look sexy for my man but like I literally have skin issues lol that’s stopping that. He does say that he doesn’t care about my acne and how he loves me regardless but imagine if he starts resenting me years later because of my appearance at home.
Another thing that’s worrying me about marriage is my weight. Like these lockdowns have made me so big. My stomach is not looking cute and my back too. I’m hoping to lose weight but I’m worried that if he gets one look at me in my natural state, with the fat and the acne, he’s gonna be so disgusted and turned off by me.
Awwww I feel like all girls go through this 😭 when someone loves you they genuinely see past all that. And if I’m being completely honest, men really don’t care
Regarding skincare at night, you don’t actually have to do it right before you get into bed. You can go to bed and have pillowtalk and then afterwards go put on your face balm if that makes sense? I sleep with face masks quite often and I only put it literally the second I am about to sleep. But when I’m in bed reading or on my phone, I won’t put it on.
Also if you’re thinking about sleepwear, there’s so many nice fitting lingerie styles for curvy bodies. Savage x FENTY is probably the best one imo. Some of their stuff can really suck in your love handles on the sides.
Now with your weight, you’re not getting married tomorrow. But if you know you want to get married, start your fitness journey now if that is going to make you feel comfort. Honestly it doesn’t have to be that drastic. This month you can aim to do 8-10k steps a day and cut out eating by 7pm.
But even without all of this, you’ll be fine. Everyone is apprehensive when they’re about to move in with someone else. After a few months it literally starts to feel like you live with family, that’s how comfortable you get
I am quite fond of this guy who has said he wants to get to know me but he does not really make that much of an effort. Although, I know he is attracted to me. I am used to speaking to a guy pretty much everyday and having regular phone calls. Whereas we may not speak for a few days.
If he can go a few days without speaking to you I wouldn’t even waste my time. Especially when it’s early days. Because if you do pursue this relationship and it goes somewhere, this is what his communication skills are gonna look like. And he will be totally fine going however long not speaking to you
Hey sis. I need some advice on this situation that I’m currently. I’ve been speaking to a guy for about 3 months now, I’m 25 and he’s 34. He’s a gentleman, takes me out on dates, picks me up and always pays. For the past 3 months we speak almost everyday, he always checks in with me and gives me a call. My issue is that he hasn’t really spoken about what he wants and if he wants this to lead to marriage, I believe that he should defo know after 3 months of dating and regular talking if he sees this leading to marriage. And my pride won’t let me bring it up first. Also, I’m not even entirely sure about him but part of me feels like it’s mainly due to his lack of taking the lead, I begin to lose interest if a guy isn’t forthcoming about his feelings and want he wants. So should I confront him or distant myself and eventually cut him off.
3 months is relatively early, I would even say wait after 6 months to have THAT conversation. You guys just met each other. It’s far too soon. 90 days? It’s risky imo especially because pre marriage talks so early on can really rock the getting to know each other stage. You could ruin a good thing coming a bit fast. He might be taken aback if you do. Also take it this way, if my husband had ask me about marriage 3 months in I would have be like nah this is too serious. However by 8 months my opinion changed DRASTICALLY.
Opinions on marriage can definitely change when someone is really really into you and can’t see anything outside of the relationship. I feel like the reason you’re not entirely sure of him is because you’re just waiting for him to talk about marriage. Realistically that’s not going to happen unless both of you want something quick. He’s 34 so he has lived a little and can probably see past the infatuation stage. He might want to see if this is something meaningful and I would agree. Don’t cut him off that’s really irrational. if you really can’t wait just have a conversation but honestly I wouldn’t advise you too. Because you sound like it’s do or die and it is coming off far too strong. This is month 3 lady
Salam ladies!! Love your page Mash’Allah, keep it up! This guy popped up to me, and we shared socials. It’s been almost a day of us talking (when I’m writing this). But he takes a while to reply, he’d either reply within 5-10minutes or hours lol, but it’s mostly hours. I’m new to this so I don’t know what to expect. Of course I do consider that everyone is living their own life so no idea what he is getting up to. I am maybe overthinking it so probably just not need to rush. Surely, when you pop up to someone to get to know them you’d always check your phone or want to talk every moment possible. I’m quite unsure. Thank you!! Xx
You are so adorable omg WOMAN CHILL
It’s literally the first day, he probably doesn’t want to come across eager. It’s been a few days since you’ve sent this so hopefully the conversation has been going on since 😭 please update me