LOOOOOL Listen we got a backlog of 103 entries we’re tryinggg okay
Anon
3 years ago
My husband to be has two children and I’m getting a lot of hate from family/friends for “lowering myself” it’s making me upset knowing everyone thinks so low of me. I love him and his children but they don’t seem to agree with me marrying him since I don’t have kids
I know one thing there for sure that if you and your partner are really serious about each other, the no one else should matter. If your parents are not approving on some reasons then make them understand that you are old enough to choose your partner.
You need to look deep inside you heart and see what is there. If you love him, you will find a way to convince your parents that is the right thing for you to stay in this relationship. And I highlight here “for you” because you are not having a relationship for them. Yes, they love you and they want the best for you however, the parents love is different than a spouse love. Also what is best for them is not always best for you. Protect your relationship. If they can’t be respectful, keep the life you have with your husband separate from them.
If they ask about your husband, keep it short.
If they ask about his kids, keep it short.
Eventually they’ll get the message that their opinions on your life is not welcomed.
Anon
3 years ago
Hi beautiful!!
Idk who you are honestly, but i hope Allah swt grant you Jannah tul firdawsa. Bless you in this dunya. And make your grave a garden from paradise. I hope your future is just as bright as the sun and that you make your family soo proud
Love,
<3
My ex really ruined me. Its been 2 years and I still think about him from time to time. After promising me so many things he cut me off very quickly and i also introduced him to my family and now i am left with so many trust issues. I really do think i have healed but i am so scared to get to know someone again. I feel like a broken record, he knocked my confidence so badly and now i feel like i will never find love again. Guys do approach me but its like he set my standards. He was my soulmate. Any advice would help me to get over this. I am turning 25 in a few months and i cannot let this man continue to cloud my mind. I want to to find love again and be free from my past oh Allaah heal my heart please
It’s been nearly two years, you are not letting yourself move on. And you’re allowing it to steal your years away from you.
It’s not just you who does this, a lot of people struggle to move on too. I think that is why so many people are still mourning their broken relationships months and years down the line. They think they “can’t” move but it’s often times a matter of not really wanting to.
Living in stasis isn’t going to bring him back sis. Likewise, moving on isn’t going to make it impossible for him to come back if he really wants to. Which I’m assuming that’s what you’re low-key hoping for.
I think maybe you should give yourself permission to move on and be happy with or without him. Don’t rush it, but don’t actively stand in the way of your own recovery either. It’s okay to let this go and move on. It’s okay to be happy with someone else. After all, he left you, right? Get yourself out there, after all the best way to really get over someone is to meet someone else.
Anon
3 years ago
asalamu aleykom girls💕 may Allah reward you guys.
Could you all make dua for me, I really want to marry this guy, that things gets easier for both of us.
weird question I know but do you think ugly girls will get married?
Basically I’ve never in my life received any attention from guys. Regularly my family make fun out of my features because I don’t have typical Somali features. Im very curvy but my face is ugly ngl. I’m in my early 20s right now but I sometimes wonder if a guy will ever ask me on a date or anything lol. I try to convince myself that if I never get married that’s fine and to just focus on my career but even if I don’t ever get married, I’d sometimes like for someone to take an interest in me if that makes sense.
Listen be positive. Work with what you have and make it work. A big part of looking attractive is maintaining yourself.
– If there is a problem with your teeth, go to a dentist and get your teeth straight and white.
– Skin issues? Go see a dermatologist and get a plan for your skin on what products to use daily
– Your sense of style isn’t good? Go on instagram and take inspiration from people. Buy new clothes that fit your current body shape not what you hope to look like in 6 months (KEY), and also visit a tailor and get adjustments to fit like a glove.
– Not feeling your shape? Hit the gym and strength train. Strength training is my goal this year, it just makes your body look so fit and firm. Honestly this will make you more aesthetically pleasing and healthier.
– Wear nice hijabs (different colours) and if you’re not a hijabi, go to a decent hairdresser tell them what you are going for and keep it maintained every 2-3 weeks.
– Maintain your face, there should be no reason you have a mini moustache ontop of your lip (dw sis I do too) but I get a wax every 3 weeks.
– Reduce stress as much as possible, always have something planned to look forward to. Be a happy person, happy people are more attractive.
– Hygiene has to be A1: Trim your nails, brush and floss, shower daily, moisturise your skin.
There is so much one can do to help themselves but obviously genetics play a huge role in what you will have to work with, but its what you do with it that matters.
But yes, you can absolutely get married. Get yourself out there and be confident. And if there’s something you don’t like about yourself, find natural ways to change it.
Anon
3 years ago
asalam alykium sister,
I am currently in a haram relationship with a guy. I no longer want to be with him however he doesn’t know that and is deeply in love with me. As much as i want to leave him, i dont not want to break his heart but yet again i do not want to be with him. I feel guilty and selfish for doing so.
Please can you help me. Thanks
Be very clear. “I no longer want to be in a haram relationship”.
Be firm and even if he asks, resist the urge to give him a nice, gentler reason. Keep reminding him you’ve made up your mind, even if he begs you to stay. Remind him you’ve had time to think about and it’s not enough.
You just got to be firm man. Say it and be quick, done with it. The more you linger around letting him come up with excuses, the harder it’ll be.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey sis,
I’ve been speaking to this guy since college (roughly 4 years). I definitely see a future with him. He got many good traits that I love such as patience, respect, on deen etc. A few month ago, we had starting taking the marriage talk a lot more seriously as he had just finished university and we were both ready to make the relationship halal. He was struggling to find a graduate job since it was during COVID so he worked full time delivery services for the time being. We discussed my mehr, moving out together and honeymoon and he seemed okay with it. (Btw I had already mentioned that I don’t want a wedding just a nikkah party). Day by day, I started to notice that his energy was off and then suddenly one day he ghosted😭. (He’s never the one to randomly block me and usually deals with situations and communicates really well) I feel like I might have put a lot of pressure on him since his family is very reliant on him when it comes to finances. It’s been a few months now and I haven’t heard anything from him. I do also feel like most men have a lot of pride when it comes to talking about being in a difficult financial state. However, I did give him a good amount of time to figure his shit out (like a year). Do you think I put too much pressure on him as I do think we were very compatible and very comfortable with each other even though I just can’t see myself going out my way to contact him. Thanks siss
Awwwww I really feel bad for him. Realistically weddings, even Nikkahs are fucking expensive. I didn’t have a wedding and we spent shitloads and thats because nikkah + ring + honeymoon + mehr adds up. To the point were we literally were like we could have had a 3 day event. No matter how small a celebration is, it adds up man. And the poor guy, he didn’t even have his grad job. How is someone doing deliveries going to cover those expenses and paying rent. And on top of that, he takes care of his family? Awwww man. He probably just crumbled under pressure. It’s not your fault btw. But yeah you should have read the room sis, he is not in the position right now to be married. And that takes nothing from him btw. He is a stand up guy and he’s taking care of the family. Leave him to establish himself first before he even thinks about marriage.
Anon
3 years ago
Would you say to date guys who are more older and ready for marriage compared to guys around your own age who are a bit young a dumb I’m 21 btw not looking for Marriage yet just weighing out my options
If you’re not looking for anything serious, date people your own age and see if you like it over there
Anon
3 years ago
I’m a 24 year old Somali guy looking to get married soon inshallah. My issue is, I really don’t want to attract a gold digger. I don’t really like using that word but not really sure how else to describe it.
In the past year, my business has started to generate more money than I could ever ask for alx. I want to meet someone that would want me even if I was working a job but I feel now, I’ve got to almost be secretive about things until I really know a potential. My socials don’t really show much, I’d say I’m really lowkey on there apart from the occasional travel stories so would you say getting to know people online is best initially? It’s the first meeting stage that I think she may realise because I have a nice car, like my clothes and watches too😭. There’s times where I think should I even care though? This is me and at the end of the day. Just like men care about looks, women want a guy that can provide security
Firstly really happy for you in your success, May Allah continue to preserve you and your flourishing business.
Just wanted to get that out there before I tell you some home truths. You are thinking about this too much and it’s too the point, where it can come across very weird if all you care about is testing a potential. It’s very hard for you to be yourself and come across desirable when you’re this paranoid. Be mindful that you don’t become stingy, because what good are you if all you’re gonna do is shame the person you’re trying to get to know? Money can’t just be all your personality which I am realising is a problem for a lot of young men. It’s not the end all be all.
Also you need to change your attitude towards gold diggers, not every woman seeking a stable man is a gold digger. A gold-digger are those sugarbabies with their 70 year old sugar daddies. Not a woman who just wants their partner to be stable and can look after her when they’re married. Which is what you’re suppose to do Islamically.
Being secretive about your money is weird, and if girls were smart, they wouldn’t even bother with men like this. Because every date will consist of ‘tests’. Just be a normal person. And like you said, mashallah you are doing very well for yourself, so it shouldn’t really bother you. Because regardless you’re making money.
Answer our questions 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
LOOOOOL Listen we got a backlog of 103 entries we’re tryinggg okay
My husband to be has two children and I’m getting a lot of hate from family/friends for “lowering myself” it’s making me upset knowing everyone thinks so low of me. I love him and his children but they don’t seem to agree with me marrying him since I don’t have kids
I know one thing there for sure that if you and your partner are really serious about each other, the no one else should matter. If your parents are not approving on some reasons then make them understand that you are old enough to choose your partner.
You need to look deep inside you heart and see what is there. If you love him, you will find a way to convince your parents that is the right thing for you to stay in this relationship. And I highlight here “for you” because you are not having a relationship for them. Yes, they love you and they want the best for you however, the parents love is different than a spouse love. Also what is best for them is not always best for you. Protect your relationship. If they can’t be respectful, keep the life you have with your husband separate from them.
If they ask about your husband, keep it short.
If they ask about his kids, keep it short.
Eventually they’ll get the message that their opinions on your life is not welcomed.
Hi beautiful!!
Idk who you are honestly, but i hope Allah swt grant you Jannah tul firdawsa. Bless you in this dunya. And make your grave a garden from paradise. I hope your future is just as bright as the sun and that you make your family soo proud
Love,
<3
Oh my god this is so sweet! Ameen ameen!
Thank you so much, my heart
My ex really ruined me. Its been 2 years and I still think about him from time to time. After promising me so many things he cut me off very quickly and i also introduced him to my family and now i am left with so many trust issues. I really do think i have healed but i am so scared to get to know someone again. I feel like a broken record, he knocked my confidence so badly and now i feel like i will never find love again. Guys do approach me but its like he set my standards. He was my soulmate. Any advice would help me to get over this. I am turning 25 in a few months and i cannot let this man continue to cloud my mind. I want to to find love again and be free from my past oh Allaah heal my heart please
It’s been nearly two years, you are not letting yourself move on. And you’re allowing it to steal your years away from you.
It’s not just you who does this, a lot of people struggle to move on too. I think that is why so many people are still mourning their broken relationships months and years down the line. They think they “can’t” move but it’s often times a matter of not really wanting to.
Living in stasis isn’t going to bring him back sis. Likewise, moving on isn’t going to make it impossible for him to come back if he really wants to. Which I’m assuming that’s what you’re low-key hoping for.
I think maybe you should give yourself permission to move on and be happy with or without him. Don’t rush it, but don’t actively stand in the way of your own recovery either. It’s okay to let this go and move on. It’s okay to be happy with someone else. After all, he left you, right? Get yourself out there, after all the best way to really get over someone is to meet someone else.
asalamu aleykom girls💕 may Allah reward you guys.
Could you all make dua for me, I really want to marry this guy, that things gets easier for both of us.
JazakAllah kheyran 💗
Awwww I will keep you both in my duas sis!!!!
weird question I know but do you think ugly girls will get married?
Basically I’ve never in my life received any attention from guys. Regularly my family make fun out of my features because I don’t have typical Somali features. Im very curvy but my face is ugly ngl. I’m in my early 20s right now but I sometimes wonder if a guy will ever ask me on a date or anything lol. I try to convince myself that if I never get married that’s fine and to just focus on my career but even if I don’t ever get married, I’d sometimes like for someone to take an interest in me if that makes sense.
Listen be positive. Work with what you have and make it work. A big part of looking attractive is maintaining yourself.
– If there is a problem with your teeth, go to a dentist and get your teeth straight and white.
– Skin issues? Go see a dermatologist and get a plan for your skin on what products to use daily
– Your sense of style isn’t good? Go on instagram and take inspiration from people. Buy new clothes that fit your current body shape not what you hope to look like in 6 months (KEY), and also visit a tailor and get adjustments to fit like a glove.
– Not feeling your shape? Hit the gym and strength train. Strength training is my goal this year, it just makes your body look so fit and firm. Honestly this will make you more aesthetically pleasing and healthier.
– Wear nice hijabs (different colours) and if you’re not a hijabi, go to a decent hairdresser tell them what you are going for and keep it maintained every 2-3 weeks.
– Maintain your face, there should be no reason you have a mini moustache ontop of your lip (dw sis I do too) but I get a wax every 3 weeks.
– Reduce stress as much as possible, always have something planned to look forward to. Be a happy person, happy people are more attractive.
– Hygiene has to be A1: Trim your nails, brush and floss, shower daily, moisturise your skin.
There is so much one can do to help themselves but obviously genetics play a huge role in what you will have to work with, but its what you do with it that matters.
But yes, you can absolutely get married. Get yourself out there and be confident. And if there’s something you don’t like about yourself, find natural ways to change it.
asalam alykium sister,
I am currently in a haram relationship with a guy. I no longer want to be with him however he doesn’t know that and is deeply in love with me. As much as i want to leave him, i dont not want to break his heart but yet again i do not want to be with him. I feel guilty and selfish for doing so.
Please can you help me. Thanks
Be very clear. “I no longer want to be in a haram relationship”.
Be firm and even if he asks, resist the urge to give him a nice, gentler reason. Keep reminding him you’ve made up your mind, even if he begs you to stay. Remind him you’ve had time to think about and it’s not enough.
You just got to be firm man. Say it and be quick, done with it. The more you linger around letting him come up with excuses, the harder it’ll be.
Hey sis,
I’ve been speaking to this guy since college (roughly 4 years). I definitely see a future with him. He got many good traits that I love such as patience, respect, on deen etc. A few month ago, we had starting taking the marriage talk a lot more seriously as he had just finished university and we were both ready to make the relationship halal. He was struggling to find a graduate job since it was during COVID so he worked full time delivery services for the time being. We discussed my mehr, moving out together and honeymoon and he seemed okay with it. (Btw I had already mentioned that I don’t want a wedding just a nikkah party). Day by day, I started to notice that his energy was off and then suddenly one day he ghosted😭. (He’s never the one to randomly block me and usually deals with situations and communicates really well) I feel like I might have put a lot of pressure on him since his family is very reliant on him when it comes to finances. It’s been a few months now and I haven’t heard anything from him. I do also feel like most men have a lot of pride when it comes to talking about being in a difficult financial state. However, I did give him a good amount of time to figure his shit out (like a year). Do you think I put too much pressure on him as I do think we were very compatible and very comfortable with each other even though I just can’t see myself going out my way to contact him. Thanks siss
Awwwww I really feel bad for him. Realistically weddings, even Nikkahs are fucking expensive. I didn’t have a wedding and we spent shitloads and thats because nikkah + ring + honeymoon + mehr adds up. To the point were we literally were like we could have had a 3 day event. No matter how small a celebration is, it adds up man. And the poor guy, he didn’t even have his grad job. How is someone doing deliveries going to cover those expenses and paying rent. And on top of that, he takes care of his family? Awwww man. He probably just crumbled under pressure. It’s not your fault btw. But yeah you should have read the room sis, he is not in the position right now to be married. And that takes nothing from him btw. He is a stand up guy and he’s taking care of the family. Leave him to establish himself first before he even thinks about marriage.
Would you say to date guys who are more older and ready for marriage compared to guys around your own age who are a bit young a dumb I’m 21 btw not looking for Marriage yet just weighing out my options
If you’re not looking for anything serious, date people your own age and see if you like it over there
I’m a 24 year old Somali guy looking to get married soon inshallah. My issue is, I really don’t want to attract a gold digger. I don’t really like using that word but not really sure how else to describe it.
In the past year, my business has started to generate more money than I could ever ask for alx. I want to meet someone that would want me even if I was working a job but I feel now, I’ve got to almost be secretive about things until I really know a potential. My socials don’t really show much, I’d say I’m really lowkey on there apart from the occasional travel stories so would you say getting to know people online is best initially? It’s the first meeting stage that I think she may realise because I have a nice car, like my clothes and watches too😭. There’s times where I think should I even care though? This is me and at the end of the day. Just like men care about looks, women want a guy that can provide security
Firstly really happy for you in your success, May Allah continue to preserve you and your flourishing business.
Just wanted to get that out there before I tell you some home truths. You are thinking about this too much and it’s too the point, where it can come across very weird if all you care about is testing a potential. It’s very hard for you to be yourself and come across desirable when you’re this paranoid. Be mindful that you don’t become stingy, because what good are you if all you’re gonna do is shame the person you’re trying to get to know? Money can’t just be all your personality which I am realising is a problem for a lot of young men. It’s not the end all be all.
Also you need to change your attitude towards gold diggers, not every woman seeking a stable man is a gold digger. A gold-digger are those sugarbabies with their 70 year old sugar daddies. Not a woman who just wants their partner to be stable and can look after her when they’re married. Which is what you’re suppose to do Islamically.
Being secretive about your money is weird, and if girls were smart, they wouldn’t even bother with men like this. Because every date will consist of ‘tests’. Just be a normal person. And like you said, mashallah you are doing very well for yourself, so it shouldn’t really bother you. Because regardless you’re making money.