Hi sis,
Do you think sexual chemistry can be built after marriage? Been seeing this guy for 10 months but we’re trying to keep it halal as possible so we haven’t done anything. Obvs I know it’s still a haram relationship but I want to graduate before getting married. Problem is he’s extremely good looking but I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. Like he’s very good to look at but I can’t imagine myself ever touching him or being sexually active with him like I don’t want to. But he has everything else he’s religious he’s got a good business he’s good looking he’s funny but I genuinely can’t imagine myself being intimate with him. I feel like this would only get worse after marriage. There’s other issues too that I won’t discuss as this is the main one but I really think I should leave him. On the other hand I don’t know if I’m just over thinking it and maybe after marriage it will be fine. I can’t express enough how attractive he is but there’s something about him that just gives m small dick energy I’m sorry loool. Like to the outside world he’s the most masculine but I feel he’s shown me traits that just make me look at him sideways and maybe that’s where the sexual chemistry fell off.
Obviously you saw something you didn’t like and now that’s put you off. And no it probably won’t change, being around him is just probably going to make you feel more sick.
10 months is not that long for you reconsider him after you gut is telling you No. Charge it to the game and get to know other people. He does not turn you on unfortunately and theres no going back after that
Anon
3 years ago
Hey babe! Thank you so so so much for setting up a safe space for us girlies! May Allah reward you immensely ❤️
So I’ve been dating this guy for a year now. I’ve managed to make sure we don’t do anything sexual at all. I really really like spending time with him and now that I finished my exams, he surprised me with a day trip to Paris. He said we aren’t going to sleep there. The thing is idk if I should leave the country with someone who isn’t my mahram. But at the same time it’s only a day trip just like going to Thorpe park for the day. Do you think it’s a good idea if I go?
And if I’m being entirely honest, I wouldn’t encourage you to another country with a man even if it’s just for a day. Just find somewhere in London mayn, save Paris for when you get married in the future. Its not going anywhere (You don’t have to listen to me though..)
Anon
3 years ago
Hey sisters!!
I was thinking of marriage the other day and I was doing a little bit of introspection and I realized that although I want a romantic and affectionate partner I’m kind of awkward at initiating it myself. Like I have a pretty tough exterior ( as a defense mechanism) so I can’t see myself ever saying I love you or randomly hugging and kissing my partner but I want that for myself? Is this something that’ll change once I’m actually in love? I feel like it’s hard to say now since I’m not in this position and id obviously reciprocate affection if HE initiated it but, I feel like men like to be praised and like girls to initiate affection sometimes and I find that so hard. I think I’m just scared of vulnerability 🙁
I think a big part of this is being able to have someone you CAN be vulnerable with. Someone has to make you feel safe for that side to come out.
But even then, I know it does take awhile to adjust. So start with being verbally affectionate, like giving compliments. That’s a good first step. When you constantly give someone compliments, eventually you’ll become really affectionate and it’ll become a habit. Plus when you see someone’s reaction to you complimenting them, it’ll make you want to do it again
Each time you get closer, share something no one knows about you to him (Whoever husband will be). Being vulnerable with someone and sharing your darkest secrets creates a special bond. Go walks when its cold, because then you have no options but to hold hands and snuggle.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girls I’m in a dilemmaaaa.
Growing up I’ve always wanted to get married. I really thought it was all sunshine and rainbows. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I looked at all the marriages around me crumbling down. Like I’d go to a wedding a few months later they’d be divorced. This has occurred so much to the point that I’m deathly scared of getting married now! I swear my moms mad at my neighbors/family members for venting to me and my sisters and ruining that fairytale stuff we envisioned in our heads. Now I’m really closed off and I although I want to have a companion one day I’m scared of the same thing happening to me. I don’t want to deal with all the heartache since I’m a very sensitive person. I’m trying to convince myself that marriage is not in the cards for me and to give it up but I’m such a hopeless romantic so it’s kind of hard. 🥲
I am going to put this very simply; divorce is a way out of a bad marriage. In the past divorce wasn’t a thing and people were bound to life with their partner even if they were abusive. Not all divorces are a bad thing.
Also the divorce rate is not as high as you think it is, but yes, the possibility is still there. And it can happen to anyone. I used to be a lot like you, I used to think all marriages ended in divorce but sometimes, it really doesn’t. Now that I’m married, I have so many friends who have been married for 7+ years and are going on strong Allahumabarik.
Marriage ultimately is a gamble. However, there are lots of ways to minimise the chance it doesn’t work out. A lot of other factors can lower that risk even more, like having a degree, being close in maturity and in level of social desirability to your partner, not having financial stress, being older than twenty-two, not having children before you marry … lots of things. The marriage has to make sense for it to work. If the person you are marrying has nothing to offer this partnership, it rarely ever works out.
Only you can decide if marriage is worth it for you. But there is definitely someone out there that is worth spending your life with. If you’ve found that person, marry them.
Anon
3 years ago
Hi girlies I hope you’re well!
I’ve been speaking to this guy. the nicest guy I’ve ever spoken to, so respectful, so kind. No red flags. However I just don’t agree with his lifestyle, he’s a party boy, drinks, smokes the lot. I’m not that girl at all I’ve never drank in my life. Not a party girl, however I’m thinking of it as who am I to judge? He’s an amazing guy but I just don’t agree with his lifestyle.
Also I’m so so so glad you decided to make this website It’s become my nightly routine to read just before bed haha
Thanks in advance!
Awww I love that! Make sure you’re reading every night (that makes me so happy)
Okay realistically, his lifestyle is not cohesive with the type of man you want to settle with right? So know what the deal is now and don’t try to change him. Some people you date aren’t all marriage material, but they are experience. You get to learn more about yourself and what you don’t want, and you end up parting ways. So when the real deal comes along, with no balwaas (addictions), you know how to be in a relationship.
If you’re young, what’s a few months of gaining experience?
Anon
3 years ago
Hi! I hope you’re doing well 🙂
I am in a big dilemma and I have no idea how to go on about this situation. I have been working at this part-time job for about 3 years now and around the same time as me,this other guy started working at this place too. I firstly want to say that I had no interest in him for the first 2 years at work at all. We were acquaintances and we’d say hi to each other and have couple convos here and there but that was it when it came to our relationship. After 2 years I started to notice him staring at me quite often and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I ignored it at first but then he was doing it quite often and ofcourse I started overthinking and thought that maybe he liked me. I honestly didn’t know what to do because ive never spoken to a guy before and I never befriend guys either because I don’t believe guys and girls can stay just as “friends” which is why I never wanted to be that close to him and just be acquaintances. After a while I started to realise that he was actually quite attractive (all because of my overthinking) and started having some feelings for him. As I said ive never spoken to a guy and I wasn’t interested in marriage or anything like that so my first thought was to avoid him completely until I lost my feelings for him. We always used to say hi when we saw eachother and have small talk, and sometimes talk crap about our co-workers and we had a cool relationship. But I ended up avoiding him COMPLETELY and basically acted like he didn’t exist just so I didn’t have feelings for him anymore. I was also starting to get very nervous around him when I realised I had feelings so I thought that was the best thing to do. After avoiding him for a couple of months i’m pretty sure he noticed it and took the hint and didn’t speak to me either and we’d both ignore each other and it became so awkward between us, you could cut the tension with a knife. I thought that thats what I wanted because I didn’t want to like him anymore but my feelings wouldn’t go and I was thinking about him more and I was getting more interested in him. It’s been like 2/3 months since ive been avoiding him and my feelings are still there and i’m regretting the fact that I have avoided him. Its obviously my fault that it has been awkward because I am the one who avoided him. I’m really overthinking this and he probably thinks I dislike him because I have been very very cold towards him. But it’s actually the opposite and have feelings for him. Because I regret avoiding him, I want to talk to him and explain to him my point of view and apologise for avoiding him. But the thing is i’m a very shy person and even though I really want to speak to him I feel like I could never do it because I don’t know how to deal with these situations. I have never spoken to a guy let alone confess my feelings. But I know if I don’t tell him how I feel i’ll regret it and I don’t want any regrets. I would never feel like this if I didn’t think he was a good guy, but he is always respectful and really nice and we have quite a few things in common.
I guess my dilemma is, should I approach him and just talk to him? If I should, How should I approach him in a non-awkward way when we haven’t spoken for so long. I don’t even know if he wants to speak to me because every time I see him he acts like i’m not there which I don’t blame him of course because I did it first.
Awwww omg you’re too cute loool you’re literally thinking yourself to death woman
You probably shouldn’t have avoided him, because now you’re gonna have to make up for it. You have to bite the bullet my girl.
Strategic position yourself so you guys are working together more often. That should be the first plan of action. The next, small under-the-radar flirting but make it look like its banter. An example, tease him about something small (but whilst you’re smiling so its not serious), then give him a compliment.
Then just focus on being friendly, he needs to get used to the idea that you’re not avoiding him again. Generally after you’re used to being around each other for long periods of time thats when things start to develop. This part is the fun part tho so don’t be scared trust me. The liking each other but not telling each other, and then when one of you finally does? *chefs kiss *
Anon
3 years ago
I have been talking with a man consistently for almost a year because of many things we haven’t met yet. Lately I have found out that he prays sometimes but used to do it regularly when he was married before. He has been divorced for two years and I’m also a divorce. He struggle a bit with addiction such as weed. I don’t know what’s the best thing to do. He always remind me of God and have a generally good character from what I can tell. He doesn’t have anything to his name though. No degree or a job at the moment because of corona, but he is thinking of going back to school. He has good intentions I think and wants to marry, but I do think because if his insecurities around is holding him back. What should I do?
I don’t think his insecurities here are the issue.
He doesn’t have a job, and he doesn’t have a degree. And he struggles with addiction, that being weed. Not sure how he is able to fund his addiction if he has no job. But anyway, this man is a bum. And it’s probably why his last wife divorced him. This is the part where you have blinded yourself with another problem, when the biggest issue is staring right in front of you. Your sense of judgement is all over the gaf.
You haven’t met him, he doesn’t pray regularly, and he has all these cons about him? Honestly what makes you think he is worthy of marrying you? What can this man offer you other than his weed addiction?
You need to find out the real reason he divorced his wife, and you need to be more open to the truth.
Anon
3 years ago
Hi sis thank you for this platform , I recently came across your page and love it ! May allah reward you .
So I’ve been talking to this guy for about 2-3 months and we’ve gone on two dates . I had to reschedule twice on him because of family situation and being sick , he was understanding. He is a really nice guy mashallah; kind , respectful, religious educated and financially stable .
We text frequently and have talked on the phone . The thing is we’ve discussed our future plans but never talked about marriage. I’m not even sure where we are at now . I’m not sure if I’m over thinking this but I feel like we’re still on the “ talking stage “. I don’t really know what to do, I just don’t want to waste my time.
Well before you talk about married, you gotta walk before you can run. Those dates you needed to reschedule, express some interest that you want to go out and maybe you plan it. Guys need a be of reassurance too, show him that you’re interested. Also try not to reschedule again, its sets a bad precedent in the beginning. No matter how genuine the excuse is, you won’t look serious. If a guy stood my up twice I wouldn’t be giving him a third opportunity to do it again lets just say that.
Get to know him more, you got to understand, just because you want to be married soon- not everyone is on the same boat. Some people have to be eased into that idea and that means you have to be patient. The reason why it hasn’t come up is because maybe he isn’t 100% sure. It’s up to you know to invest in this relationship so that he is sure. You feel me?
Anon
3 years ago
Salaam sis. Hope you’re well.
Im 25F, doing quite well for myself in life and alh attractive. Im getting to know lots of guys and mashallah most are hardworking, reliable, smart, established, practising to a min level, treat me well but Idk I find them all slightly boring? At this point Im wondering if there is something wrong with me I find myself daydreaming when we talk. And before anyone says I want a ‘bad boy’ and ‘nice guys finish last’ I just want to say I consider myself to have healthy attachment alh and I disassociate with guys who play games or have other problems straight away.
Not sure what to do. Im I looking for too much in one individual?
Pls advice.
Of course no one is going to be 100% appealing to you if you don’t actually like them. Find someone who catches your eye, and then work from there. See if its anything more than just initial chemistry. Because you won’t find everything you want in a person straight away, you learn more things about a person as you go. Initial chemistry at the start though is the most important thing.
Anon
3 years ago
I’ve been married for a year, my husband likes photos of other women on instagram in the name of they’re just friends. They are not wearing hijab and some women have their cleavage out in photos. Context – some are work colleagues. I have no male friends and dont like male photos unless it is family. When I pull him up on it he tells me im narrow minded and overreacting. He does apologise when i get upset but he has done it again since. What do I do? Am I tripping?
If looking at his social media is upsetting you, but he’s not actually crossing any of your boundaries, stop snooping there. It’s okay to set reasonable boundaries in your relationship, but trying to manage what your husband “likes” or looks at online is a task that is likely just going to drive you crazy. If he is not cheating or conversing with these work colleagues, then maybe it might not be a problem.
Choose wisely what hill you want to die on, I feel like that’s really important in marriages. If he is genuinely not doing anything than that, arguing about it won’t achieve anything but rock and disrupt your relationship. Maybe get him to see it from your perspective.
Hi sis,
Do you think sexual chemistry can be built after marriage? Been seeing this guy for 10 months but we’re trying to keep it halal as possible so we haven’t done anything. Obvs I know it’s still a haram relationship but I want to graduate before getting married. Problem is he’s extremely good looking but I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. Like he’s very good to look at but I can’t imagine myself ever touching him or being sexually active with him like I don’t want to. But he has everything else he’s religious he’s got a good business he’s good looking he’s funny but I genuinely can’t imagine myself being intimate with him. I feel like this would only get worse after marriage. There’s other issues too that I won’t discuss as this is the main one but I really think I should leave him. On the other hand I don’t know if I’m just over thinking it and maybe after marriage it will be fine. I can’t express enough how attractive he is but there’s something about him that just gives m small dick energy I’m sorry loool. Like to the outside world he’s the most masculine but I feel he’s shown me traits that just make me look at him sideways and maybe that’s where the sexual chemistry fell off.
Obviously you saw something you didn’t like and now that’s put you off. And no it probably won’t change, being around him is just probably going to make you feel more sick.
10 months is not that long for you reconsider him after you gut is telling you No. Charge it to the game and get to know other people. He does not turn you on unfortunately and theres no going back after that
Hey babe! Thank you so so so much for setting up a safe space for us girlies! May Allah reward you immensely ❤️
So I’ve been dating this guy for a year now. I’ve managed to make sure we don’t do anything sexual at all. I really really like spending time with him and now that I finished my exams, he surprised me with a day trip to Paris. He said we aren’t going to sleep there. The thing is idk if I should leave the country with someone who isn’t my mahram. But at the same time it’s only a day trip just like going to Thorpe park for the day. Do you think it’s a good idea if I go?
Awwww ameen ameen!
And if I’m being entirely honest, I wouldn’t encourage you to another country with a man even if it’s just for a day. Just find somewhere in London mayn, save Paris for when you get married in the future. Its not going anywhere (You don’t have to listen to me though..)
Hey sisters!!
I was thinking of marriage the other day and I was doing a little bit of introspection and I realized that although I want a romantic and affectionate partner I’m kind of awkward at initiating it myself. Like I have a pretty tough exterior ( as a defense mechanism) so I can’t see myself ever saying I love you or randomly hugging and kissing my partner but I want that for myself? Is this something that’ll change once I’m actually in love? I feel like it’s hard to say now since I’m not in this position and id obviously reciprocate affection if HE initiated it but, I feel like men like to be praised and like girls to initiate affection sometimes and I find that so hard. I think I’m just scared of vulnerability 🙁
I think a big part of this is being able to have someone you CAN be vulnerable with. Someone has to make you feel safe for that side to come out.
But even then, I know it does take awhile to adjust. So start with being verbally affectionate, like giving compliments. That’s a good first step. When you constantly give someone compliments, eventually you’ll become really affectionate and it’ll become a habit. Plus when you see someone’s reaction to you complimenting them, it’ll make you want to do it again
Each time you get closer, share something no one knows about you to him (Whoever husband will be). Being vulnerable with someone and sharing your darkest secrets creates a special bond. Go walks when its cold, because then you have no options but to hold hands and snuggle.
Hey girls I’m in a dilemmaaaa.
Growing up I’ve always wanted to get married. I really thought it was all sunshine and rainbows. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I looked at all the marriages around me crumbling down. Like I’d go to a wedding a few months later they’d be divorced. This has occurred so much to the point that I’m deathly scared of getting married now! I swear my moms mad at my neighbors/family members for venting to me and my sisters and ruining that fairytale stuff we envisioned in our heads. Now I’m really closed off and I although I want to have a companion one day I’m scared of the same thing happening to me. I don’t want to deal with all the heartache since I’m a very sensitive person. I’m trying to convince myself that marriage is not in the cards for me and to give it up but I’m such a hopeless romantic so it’s kind of hard. 🥲
I am going to put this very simply; divorce is a way out of a bad marriage. In the past divorce wasn’t a thing and people were bound to life with their partner even if they were abusive. Not all divorces are a bad thing.
Also the divorce rate is not as high as you think it is, but yes, the possibility is still there. And it can happen to anyone. I used to be a lot like you, I used to think all marriages ended in divorce but sometimes, it really doesn’t. Now that I’m married, I have so many friends who have been married for 7+ years and are going on strong Allahumabarik.
Marriage ultimately is a gamble. However, there are lots of ways to minimise the chance it doesn’t work out. A lot of other factors can lower that risk even more, like having a degree, being close in maturity and in level of social desirability to your partner, not having financial stress, being older than twenty-two, not having children before you marry … lots of things. The marriage has to make sense for it to work. If the person you are marrying has nothing to offer this partnership, it rarely ever works out.
Only you can decide if marriage is worth it for you. But there is definitely someone out there that is worth spending your life with. If you’ve found that person, marry them.
Hi girlies I hope you’re well!
I’ve been speaking to this guy. the nicest guy I’ve ever spoken to, so respectful, so kind. No red flags. However I just don’t agree with his lifestyle, he’s a party boy, drinks, smokes the lot. I’m not that girl at all I’ve never drank in my life. Not a party girl, however I’m thinking of it as who am I to judge? He’s an amazing guy but I just don’t agree with his lifestyle.
Also I’m so so so glad you decided to make this website It’s become my nightly routine to read just before bed haha
Thanks in advance!
Awww I love that! Make sure you’re reading every night (that makes me so happy)
Okay realistically, his lifestyle is not cohesive with the type of man you want to settle with right? So know what the deal is now and don’t try to change him. Some people you date aren’t all marriage material, but they are experience. You get to learn more about yourself and what you don’t want, and you end up parting ways. So when the real deal comes along, with no balwaas (addictions), you know how to be in a relationship.
If you’re young, what’s a few months of gaining experience?
Hi! I hope you’re doing well 🙂
I am in a big dilemma and I have no idea how to go on about this situation. I have been working at this part-time job for about 3 years now and around the same time as me,this other guy started working at this place too. I firstly want to say that I had no interest in him for the first 2 years at work at all. We were acquaintances and we’d say hi to each other and have couple convos here and there but that was it when it came to our relationship. After 2 years I started to notice him staring at me quite often and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I ignored it at first but then he was doing it quite often and ofcourse I started overthinking and thought that maybe he liked me. I honestly didn’t know what to do because ive never spoken to a guy before and I never befriend guys either because I don’t believe guys and girls can stay just as “friends” which is why I never wanted to be that close to him and just be acquaintances. After a while I started to realise that he was actually quite attractive (all because of my overthinking) and started having some feelings for him. As I said ive never spoken to a guy and I wasn’t interested in marriage or anything like that so my first thought was to avoid him completely until I lost my feelings for him. We always used to say hi when we saw eachother and have small talk, and sometimes talk crap about our co-workers and we had a cool relationship. But I ended up avoiding him COMPLETELY and basically acted like he didn’t exist just so I didn’t have feelings for him anymore. I was also starting to get very nervous around him when I realised I had feelings so I thought that was the best thing to do. After avoiding him for a couple of months i’m pretty sure he noticed it and took the hint and didn’t speak to me either and we’d both ignore each other and it became so awkward between us, you could cut the tension with a knife. I thought that thats what I wanted because I didn’t want to like him anymore but my feelings wouldn’t go and I was thinking about him more and I was getting more interested in him. It’s been like 2/3 months since ive been avoiding him and my feelings are still there and i’m regretting the fact that I have avoided him. Its obviously my fault that it has been awkward because I am the one who avoided him. I’m really overthinking this and he probably thinks I dislike him because I have been very very cold towards him. But it’s actually the opposite and have feelings for him. Because I regret avoiding him, I want to talk to him and explain to him my point of view and apologise for avoiding him. But the thing is i’m a very shy person and even though I really want to speak to him I feel like I could never do it because I don’t know how to deal with these situations. I have never spoken to a guy let alone confess my feelings. But I know if I don’t tell him how I feel i’ll regret it and I don’t want any regrets. I would never feel like this if I didn’t think he was a good guy, but he is always respectful and really nice and we have quite a few things in common.
I guess my dilemma is, should I approach him and just talk to him? If I should, How should I approach him in a non-awkward way when we haven’t spoken for so long. I don’t even know if he wants to speak to me because every time I see him he acts like i’m not there which I don’t blame him of course because I did it first.
Awwww omg you’re too cute loool you’re literally thinking yourself to death woman
You probably shouldn’t have avoided him, because now you’re gonna have to make up for it. You have to bite the bullet my girl.
Strategic position yourself so you guys are working together more often. That should be the first plan of action. The next, small under-the-radar flirting but make it look like its banter. An example, tease him about something small (but whilst you’re smiling so its not serious), then give him a compliment.
Then just focus on being friendly, he needs to get used to the idea that you’re not avoiding him again. Generally after you’re used to being around each other for long periods of time thats when things start to develop. This part is the fun part tho so don’t be scared trust me. The liking each other but not telling each other, and then when one of you finally does? *chefs kiss *
I have been talking with a man consistently for almost a year because of many things we haven’t met yet. Lately I have found out that he prays sometimes but used to do it regularly when he was married before. He has been divorced for two years and I’m also a divorce. He struggle a bit with addiction such as weed. I don’t know what’s the best thing to do. He always remind me of God and have a generally good character from what I can tell. He doesn’t have anything to his name though. No degree or a job at the moment because of corona, but he is thinking of going back to school. He has good intentions I think and wants to marry, but I do think because if his insecurities around is holding him back. What should I do?
I don’t think his insecurities here are the issue.
He doesn’t have a job, and he doesn’t have a degree. And he struggles with addiction, that being weed. Not sure how he is able to fund his addiction if he has no job. But anyway, this man is a bum. And it’s probably why his last wife divorced him. This is the part where you have blinded yourself with another problem, when the biggest issue is staring right in front of you. Your sense of judgement is all over the gaf.
You haven’t met him, he doesn’t pray regularly, and he has all these cons about him? Honestly what makes you think he is worthy of marrying you? What can this man offer you other than his weed addiction?
You need to find out the real reason he divorced his wife, and you need to be more open to the truth.
Hi sis thank you for this platform , I recently came across your page and love it ! May allah reward you .
So I’ve been talking to this guy for about 2-3 months and we’ve gone on two dates . I had to reschedule twice on him because of family situation and being sick , he was understanding. He is a really nice guy mashallah; kind , respectful, religious educated and financially stable .
We text frequently and have talked on the phone . The thing is we’ve discussed our future plans but never talked about marriage. I’m not even sure where we are at now . I’m not sure if I’m over thinking this but I feel like we’re still on the “ talking stage “. I don’t really know what to do, I just don’t want to waste my time.
Well before you talk about married, you gotta walk before you can run. Those dates you needed to reschedule, express some interest that you want to go out and maybe you plan it. Guys need a be of reassurance too, show him that you’re interested. Also try not to reschedule again, its sets a bad precedent in the beginning. No matter how genuine the excuse is, you won’t look serious. If a guy stood my up twice I wouldn’t be giving him a third opportunity to do it again lets just say that.
Get to know him more, you got to understand, just because you want to be married soon- not everyone is on the same boat. Some people have to be eased into that idea and that means you have to be patient. The reason why it hasn’t come up is because maybe he isn’t 100% sure. It’s up to you know to invest in this relationship so that he is sure. You feel me?
Salaam sis. Hope you’re well.
Im 25F, doing quite well for myself in life and alh attractive. Im getting to know lots of guys and mashallah most are hardworking, reliable, smart, established, practising to a min level, treat me well but Idk I find them all slightly boring? At this point Im wondering if there is something wrong with me I find myself daydreaming when we talk. And before anyone says I want a ‘bad boy’ and ‘nice guys finish last’ I just want to say I consider myself to have healthy attachment alh and I disassociate with guys who play games or have other problems straight away.
Not sure what to do. Im I looking for too much in one individual?
Pls advice.
Of course no one is going to be 100% appealing to you if you don’t actually like them. Find someone who catches your eye, and then work from there. See if its anything more than just initial chemistry. Because you won’t find everything you want in a person straight away, you learn more things about a person as you go. Initial chemistry at the start though is the most important thing.
I’ve been married for a year, my husband likes photos of other women on instagram in the name of they’re just friends. They are not wearing hijab and some women have their cleavage out in photos. Context – some are work colleagues. I have no male friends and dont like male photos unless it is family. When I pull him up on it he tells me im narrow minded and overreacting. He does apologise when i get upset but he has done it again since. What do I do? Am I tripping?
If looking at his social media is upsetting you, but he’s not actually crossing any of your boundaries, stop snooping there. It’s okay to set reasonable boundaries in your relationship, but trying to manage what your husband “likes” or looks at online is a task that is likely just going to drive you crazy. If he is not cheating or conversing with these work colleagues, then maybe it might not be a problem.
Choose wisely what hill you want to die on, I feel like that’s really important in marriages. If he is genuinely not doing anything than that, arguing about it won’t achieve anything but rock and disrupt your relationship. Maybe get him to see it from your perspective.