Hi Lula, I’m an Somali and I love your website. I have read all 50+ pages worth of dilemmas and responses and here is a summary of my thoughts of Somalis as a whole through the dilemmas posted.
• As a whole Somalis seem to be insensitive towards each other especially coming from the men
• Somali women are running from the realisation that their marriages will become like their parents but want to chase that ecstasy of love
• There is a massive communication barrier between both genders as both whether they like it or not are not as confident as they seem
• Parents, because of Shame don’t make anything clear to their husband/wife to be kids about Sex.
• Good Men/Women who avoided free mixing via sports or studying have a hard time finding a potential.
From the Summary I have made above I have come to the early but most rational conclusion that it will become very unlikely that I will be married in the future.
I hope Allah keeps blessing your Marriage and you live with contentment. Ameen.
I ended with this guy after a long time cause it simply didn’t work out. We were in this situationship even though we talked about marriage ect. Since it was going nowhere I had to let it go cause otherwise it was taking a hold on my mental health. After i told him truthfully that this is not going to workout he admit as well which I was happy about it. Only we told me afterwards that he was mentally not okay and we never had this open deep conversation which shocked me beyond.
Even though I’m trying to move on and ignore my feelings I don’t know what do to forget about him and to move on. I did delete his number and mute his instagram. But my heart and mind are instant battle. I’ve been pratikeer and making dua to Allah swt to remove my feelings and I’ve been fully focusing on my deen. But somehow this person keeps coming back in my life. So tell me what can I do to move on and to continue with my life!
The only way I get over the harsh realites of something is to constantly remind myself why its not right for me. I will make a promise to myself, and when sometimes I falter (because we all do), I will remind myself of how something I wanted made me feel, and that’s it. That feeling alone will make me wake up and smell the fucking coffee.
No contact. That is the only way you will heal, and its because you would have genuinely forgotten about them. You’d be surprised at how quickly the brain forgets a person in your past life, sometimes you’ll even forget how they look like, how they sound. Even if they do want you back, the relationship is already over, it scarred, its done. You will never start on a fresh page because there will always be uncertainty, there will always be that underlying pain. So focus on healing. DO NOT SEEK LOVE FROM THE LAST PLACE YOU LOST IT.
Surround yourself with loved ones, friends, and family. Obviously I encourage making new friends, but sometimes you need a reminder that you DO have a support group around you, and that you are loved and special to others. Your thoughts, opinion, and perspective matters to many, and sometimes we need to understand that before it begins mattering to us again. At the same time, don’t seek out validation and love without being willing to reciprocate. Be a better friend, a better child to your parents. Give the love that you want to receive.
Remind yourself of Allah always. Whatever is written for you, will come and find you. Not matter what. Know that!
Anon
3 years ago
Hey Lula! I love this page so so much! You are so full of wisdom and kindness in the way that you respond!! We all appreciate you 🤍 may Allah bless you abundantly 🤍
So my dilemma is kinda about a non Muslim man. I met this guy through work and we would always chat to each other (not flirting at all). I made it clear that I wasn’t looking for anything at all, plus he’s also non Muslim. So we would chat about just life I considered him to be a good friend at one point. I eventually left the job (toxic af lmaoo but why do you always meet the best people at the most toxic jobs smh). I can’t express how kind this guy is, he would check in on me, bring me lunch at my new job, help me out and listened to my problems etc around school and my new job. Towards the end of last year he started to become really flirty which was out of his normal character and I was kind of caught off guard because I was enjoying the attention? Anyways I told him to stop and he did, but he messages me last night with the longest paragraph saying how he has liked me for the longest time, and how he sees a future with me and how he wants to speak to my PARENTS. I don’t know what to do . I genuinely like this guy, but he’s non Muslim, and i don’t want to get my hopes up at all especially because of how much I love our friendship. Any thoughts 😭😭😭
If he’s non muslim, hes non-muslim girl. Doesn’t matter how good he is to you, he is not in the folds of islam. Unless he is trying to revert, I would stop investing more of my feelings ASAP. Nothing is worse than being terrible in love with someone who is a non-believer. Wallahi i can’t imagine anything worse.
And awww thank you man! Ameen! I hope I’ve given you some wisdom here. I know it’ll hurt but wallahi you need to hear the bitter truth man. Do not risk yourself falling with a non-muslim, because it will be so painful to let go.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey, I don’t know if you remember when I asked for advice on curiouscat a month ago when I was struggling to consumate my marriage due to the pain.
Me and my husband have finally overcome that issue Alhamdulilah and we are so happy :,) cried tears of happiness.
Couldn’t have done without my husband honestly and your advice helped to so
I want to say thank you so so much for taking time of out of your day to answer and give me advice.
Oh my god this makes me so happy! Awwwww yesss I’m so proud of you girl. I need to go back and find that dilemma on curious cat. Honestly I love that for you so much
You’re so welcome habibti, ahh i love you man that made my day
Anon
3 years ago
Lula help I’m sooo bad at keeping my composure when I think someone is attractive because it’s so rare for me loool, I’m usually charming and witty but when I like a man I usually am too cold to not raise suspicion (subconsciously) or basically put myself in the friendzone and am not being sexy personality wise/ or being TOO nice please help
Think of it this way, what makes you more drawn to a person? What does it take for someone to peak your interest? Find out what it is and then try to be that version of yourself.
Be charming, funny and very friendly. Those are the qualities that make someone more drawn to you. When someone is making me nervous, what helps me is I try to think of it as me getting THEM out of their shell and not the other way around. If that makes sense? I will try to make them more comfortable by showing them how relaxed and fun I am.
Don’t try to be sexy that’s weird LOL, be charming. Charming people are always sexy. Gas them up, give a little compliment or two, then go back to the banter. When you get too nervous you end up just word vomiting and looking stupid. Be chill
Anon
3 years ago
hey Lula, how much should I spend on a wedding ring?
But if this is a guy messaging me this (I HOPE SO). Then it depends, what kind of ring your partner wants, and your actual budget. I find when you design the ring yourself, its means more. I mean you can buy any ring and that’d work too, but designing it is so priceless wallahi. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. You can go to any jeweller in Hatton Garden and say “Hey I have a budget of xyz and I want to design a ring like this”
Obviously you’ll have to factor in if you want it to be a natural diamond or lab manufactured diamond, or if you don’t want a diamond at all. There are so many alternatives that are cheaper like going for moissanites instead. Also the cut, clarity, carat etc, those really depend on your budget. But you can still make the ring you want, you’d be really surprised.
It actually took me and my husband to go on a few trips to a jeweller before he knew exactly what it was that I wanted. And he did this wayyy before he proposed, and he treated it more like a fun thing to do as a date. Factoring budget is also important too, because I didn’t want a wedding, I was able to get a better ring. You have to be realistic.
But ideally, I would say around 3k should be your starting point. If you earn more, then you can increase your budget. Rings for me are really important, which is why I would say properly invest in it. Its like a badge of honour. Out of all the things my husband has got me, my engagement ring is the one that means the most to me. Because I know and appreciate the amount of time he spent on making it perfect for me. It makes me proud to have it and to take care of it. I don’t even insure my phone or any other of my gadgets, but the one thing I insured is my ring. A lot of people don’t think a ring is important but wallahi I really do. It’s a constant reminder to you that you share your life with somebody. It’s a great symbol that I want to always see on my finger.
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girls, love this page honestly. I am in need of advice. I have not really spoken to guys before romantically. I have joined a dating app. I wanted to know how often should I expect men to message me in a day in the beginning if they are serious. How long will it take to get past the same repeated small talk of how is your day going? how long should I give someone a chance to initiate a call and also a first date before blocking them? Thank you so much in advance.
I like to keep small talk short. Theres only so long I can keep asking you how is your day etc, I want to actually see you so I can see if theres chemistry or not. Also the longer you message, the less inclined you feel to see them. And you just make it worse for yourself because you get even more nervours.
Talk for two weeks, and initiate contact.
Anon
3 years ago
I’m stuck in a mess with a potential spouse, families have met and it was amazing Alhamdulillah! Ever since they’ve met he has been less patient , appreciative of me, affectionate and more argumentative I understand he is busy with finding a suitable house for us but he doesn’t really involve me in the decisions and brushes what I say under the carpet about any concerns. There’s just a lot going on at the minute we haven’t really spent time with one another and he gives off the vibe that he doesn’t want this anymore and that he’s doing it for the sake of the family meeting and to avoid embarrassment. Me, I’m not embarrassed if this doesn’t go as planned because I know Allah is the best of planners but inside of me knows this isn’t what he wants it’s always “my mum this, my mum that”. That’s another thing, there’s being a mummy’s boy, then there’s being fed by your mother and he’s a 27 year old man and I’m in my early 20s. Is he feeling the family pressures that he’s expressing on to me or something I don’t even want to get into that to save myself the trouble but honestly half the things he says and does is currently giving me the biggest ick.
Unfortunately, for the few weeks and maybe even months up until the wedding, is when you are going to be the most distant with your partner, more snappy and so forth. It’s the truth. Wedding preparations is fucking long and you both are always going to feel overwhelmed. Even for me, my partner was so overwhelmed with making sure everything was perfect and if I wasn’t so demanding, I’m sure he’d loved to be left alone to do his own thing LMAO. But I was like nope! You are going to see me and you’re going to take me out!
You just have to remind yourself that this will all be over soon and you’ll be able to get back to normal. Sometimes it even takes a while after the wedding to regulate your emotions. Wedding stress will take it OUT of you. As much as I loved my nikkah, bitch I aint doing it again LOL. I was an emotional wreck. If my dress or whatever wasn’t available, that was enough in my eyes to make me cry. If my partner was too busy, I’d be emotional. If my family were being annoying, I’d make me stressed out. The point is, you’re not yourself when you’re planning a wedding. It’s like you’re on your period 24/7. It’s the ghetto
Regarding your second issue, what decisions do you want to make and ask yourself, are you in a position to make such demands? If he is struggling and is just looking for a roof over your head, be chill. Its very hard to find a home right now and he might just be doing his best. Don’t be like I need a fitted kitchen, I have to have an ensuite, just let him find what makes sense with his finances. Obviously if it’s the gutter (which I doubt it), then you can be like no, this isn’t right. Just see it this way, he will find a home and you’ll be the one that makes it a home. Good?
Also, he’s probably worried about his mum and what she thinks because she is the one who is planning everything. Men don’t know what they’re doing. On the grooms side, its always the mum who is sorting everything out. He is just fitting the bill. I know you’re emotional, but just step back and have a little perspective.
Anon
3 years ago
To the sister talking about how she has a bad past and wants to tell her fiance that she committed Zina, please advise her or let her see this that she shouldn’t! She has repented for her sins and unless she has a disease or complication from Zina like HIV that can affect her future spouse she should keep quiet. Do not expose your sins, keep them cloaked. In Islam we shouldn’t expose our sins and honestly it will do more harm than good to the relationship. If he asks don’t lie just say “Alhamdulillah Allah has kept me away from that”. Which is not lying at all. Please ladies never expose your sins, it doesn’t make you less of a woman for comitting Zina, just repent and ask for forgiveness and move on, life has many trials and people will judge you! Dont make life harder for yourself.
A man who doesn’t want you for a past Allah has forgiven you for isnt the man for you.
ٱلسَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ sisters
I hope you are all doing well ❤️
I’m currently interested in getting involved in the tech industry but I’m not sure how to. Do you need experience? And what was your journey like to tech?
I’m currently a student nurse but I’m not really interested in this field of work anymore and I have an interest of maybe getting into tech but not sure how to. Any advice will be appreciated, Thank you.
My journey was a bit weird because I have always been computer literate from a very young age, I just didn’t know you could get a good career out of that. So it wasn’t really an option for me. Wallahi looking back if I knew, I would have 100% done my undergrad in computing. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I saw it as a viable option for me and that’s when I decided to pursue it.
Computing is very hard, and coding is a completely different ball game. Don’t let people lie to you when they say its easy. For someone like me, who is very very quick at solving computing problems, I can spend up to 5 hours trying to figure out one fucked up problem in my code. Sometimes you get it, and when you do, uh its great. But when you don’t? Wallahi that feeling is enough to make you want to through the towel in. Which is why I decided to do a masters. When I know money is on the line, when I know my academic transcript is on the line, I won’t give up. I will spend 12 hours figuring out something if I have to.
You actually don’t need a degree though, but it absolutely does help getting your foot in the door. Most firms won’t consider you for internships without having a technical degree (its doesn’t need to be computing). If you have a degree in maths based subjects, you’re good. Critical thinking degrees though are pretty much useless, and its what I had, so I knew I needed to do a masters to spruce it up a bit and alhamdulilah I was able to find a placement.
There are so many courses for women online, and a lot of those companies end up setting you up with other work programme. It’s a good way of cutting corners, but it requires a lot of dedication to complete such compact and THICK courses. Because if you miss one thing, you have to start all over again.
Hi Lula, I’m an Somali and I love your website. I have read all 50+ pages worth of dilemmas and responses and here is a summary of my thoughts of Somalis as a whole through the dilemmas posted.
• As a whole Somalis seem to be insensitive towards each other especially coming from the men
• Somali women are running from the realisation that their marriages will become like their parents but want to chase that ecstasy of love
• There is a massive communication barrier between both genders as both whether they like it or not are not as confident as they seem
• Parents, because of Shame don’t make anything clear to their husband/wife to be kids about Sex.
• Good Men/Women who avoided free mixing via sports or studying have a hard time finding a potential.
From the Summary I have made above I have come to the early but most rational conclusion that it will become very unlikely that I will be married in the future.
I hope Allah keeps blessing your Marriage and you live with contentment. Ameen.
I mean, damn.
I ended with this guy after a long time cause it simply didn’t work out. We were in this situationship even though we talked about marriage ect. Since it was going nowhere I had to let it go cause otherwise it was taking a hold on my mental health. After i told him truthfully that this is not going to workout he admit as well which I was happy about it. Only we told me afterwards that he was mentally not okay and we never had this open deep conversation which shocked me beyond.
Even though I’m trying to move on and ignore my feelings I don’t know what do to forget about him and to move on. I did delete his number and mute his instagram. But my heart and mind are instant battle. I’ve been pratikeer and making dua to Allah swt to remove my feelings and I’ve been fully focusing on my deen. But somehow this person keeps coming back in my life. So tell me what can I do to move on and to continue with my life!
The only way I get over the harsh realites of something is to constantly remind myself why its not right for me. I will make a promise to myself, and when sometimes I falter (because we all do), I will remind myself of how something I wanted made me feel, and that’s it. That feeling alone will make me wake up and smell the fucking coffee.
No contact. That is the only way you will heal, and its because you would have genuinely forgotten about them. You’d be surprised at how quickly the brain forgets a person in your past life, sometimes you’ll even forget how they look like, how they sound. Even if they do want you back, the relationship is already over, it scarred, its done. You will never start on a fresh page because there will always be uncertainty, there will always be that underlying pain. So focus on healing. DO NOT SEEK LOVE FROM THE LAST PLACE YOU LOST IT.
Surround yourself with loved ones, friends, and family. Obviously I encourage making new friends, but sometimes you need a reminder that you DO have a support group around you, and that you are loved and special to others. Your thoughts, opinion, and perspective matters to many, and sometimes we need to understand that before it begins mattering to us again. At the same time, don’t seek out validation and love without being willing to reciprocate. Be a better friend, a better child to your parents. Give the love that you want to receive.
Remind yourself of Allah always. Whatever is written for you, will come and find you. Not matter what. Know that!
Hey Lula! I love this page so so much! You are so full of wisdom and kindness in the way that you respond!! We all appreciate you 🤍 may Allah bless you abundantly 🤍
So my dilemma is kinda about a non Muslim man. I met this guy through work and we would always chat to each other (not flirting at all). I made it clear that I wasn’t looking for anything at all, plus he’s also non Muslim. So we would chat about just life I considered him to be a good friend at one point. I eventually left the job (toxic af lmaoo but why do you always meet the best people at the most toxic jobs smh). I can’t express how kind this guy is, he would check in on me, bring me lunch at my new job, help me out and listened to my problems etc around school and my new job. Towards the end of last year he started to become really flirty which was out of his normal character and I was kind of caught off guard because I was enjoying the attention? Anyways I told him to stop and he did, but he messages me last night with the longest paragraph saying how he has liked me for the longest time, and how he sees a future with me and how he wants to speak to my PARENTS. I don’t know what to do . I genuinely like this guy, but he’s non Muslim, and i don’t want to get my hopes up at all especially because of how much I love our friendship. Any thoughts 😭😭😭
If he’s non muslim, hes non-muslim girl. Doesn’t matter how good he is to you, he is not in the folds of islam. Unless he is trying to revert, I would stop investing more of my feelings ASAP. Nothing is worse than being terrible in love with someone who is a non-believer. Wallahi i can’t imagine anything worse.
And awww thank you man! Ameen! I hope I’ve given you some wisdom here. I know it’ll hurt but wallahi you need to hear the bitter truth man. Do not risk yourself falling with a non-muslim, because it will be so painful to let go.
Hey, I don’t know if you remember when I asked for advice on curiouscat a month ago when I was struggling to consumate my marriage due to the pain.
Me and my husband have finally overcome that issue Alhamdulilah and we are so happy :,) cried tears of happiness.
Couldn’t have done without my husband honestly and your advice helped to so
I want to say thank you so so much for taking time of out of your day to answer and give me advice.
Oh my god this makes me so happy! Awwwww yesss I’m so proud of you girl. I need to go back and find that dilemma on curious cat. Honestly I love that for you so much
You’re so welcome habibti, ahh i love you man that made my day
Lula help I’m sooo bad at keeping my composure when I think someone is attractive because it’s so rare for me loool, I’m usually charming and witty but when I like a man I usually am too cold to not raise suspicion (subconsciously) or basically put myself in the friendzone and am not being sexy personality wise/ or being TOO nice please help
Think of it this way, what makes you more drawn to a person? What does it take for someone to peak your interest? Find out what it is and then try to be that version of yourself.
Be charming, funny and very friendly. Those are the qualities that make someone more drawn to you. When someone is making me nervous, what helps me is I try to think of it as me getting THEM out of their shell and not the other way around. If that makes sense? I will try to make them more comfortable by showing them how relaxed and fun I am.
Don’t try to be sexy that’s weird LOL, be charming. Charming people are always sexy. Gas them up, give a little compliment or two, then go back to the banter. When you get too nervous you end up just word vomiting and looking stupid. Be chill
hey Lula, how much should I spend on a wedding ring?
If you’re a girl, not a single dime.
But if this is a guy messaging me this (I HOPE SO). Then it depends, what kind of ring your partner wants, and your actual budget. I find when you design the ring yourself, its means more. I mean you can buy any ring and that’d work too, but designing it is so priceless wallahi. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. You can go to any jeweller in Hatton Garden and say “Hey I have a budget of xyz and I want to design a ring like this”
Obviously you’ll have to factor in if you want it to be a natural diamond or lab manufactured diamond, or if you don’t want a diamond at all. There are so many alternatives that are cheaper like going for moissanites instead. Also the cut, clarity, carat etc, those really depend on your budget. But you can still make the ring you want, you’d be really surprised.
It actually took me and my husband to go on a few trips to a jeweller before he knew exactly what it was that I wanted. And he did this wayyy before he proposed, and he treated it more like a fun thing to do as a date. Factoring budget is also important too, because I didn’t want a wedding, I was able to get a better ring. You have to be realistic.
But ideally, I would say around 3k should be your starting point. If you earn more, then you can increase your budget. Rings for me are really important, which is why I would say properly invest in it. Its like a badge of honour. Out of all the things my husband has got me, my engagement ring is the one that means the most to me. Because I know and appreciate the amount of time he spent on making it perfect for me. It makes me proud to have it and to take care of it. I don’t even insure my phone or any other of my gadgets, but the one thing I insured is my ring. A lot of people don’t think a ring is important but wallahi I really do. It’s a constant reminder to you that you share your life with somebody. It’s a great symbol that I want to always see on my finger.
Hey girls, love this page honestly. I am in need of advice. I have not really spoken to guys before romantically. I have joined a dating app. I wanted to know how often should I expect men to message me in a day in the beginning if they are serious. How long will it take to get past the same repeated small talk of how is your day going? how long should I give someone a chance to initiate a call and also a first date before blocking them? Thank you so much in advance.
I like to keep small talk short. Theres only so long I can keep asking you how is your day etc, I want to actually see you so I can see if theres chemistry or not. Also the longer you message, the less inclined you feel to see them. And you just make it worse for yourself because you get even more nervours.
Talk for two weeks, and initiate contact.
I’m stuck in a mess with a potential spouse, families have met and it was amazing Alhamdulillah! Ever since they’ve met he has been less patient , appreciative of me, affectionate and more argumentative I understand he is busy with finding a suitable house for us but he doesn’t really involve me in the decisions and brushes what I say under the carpet about any concerns. There’s just a lot going on at the minute we haven’t really spent time with one another and he gives off the vibe that he doesn’t want this anymore and that he’s doing it for the sake of the family meeting and to avoid embarrassment. Me, I’m not embarrassed if this doesn’t go as planned because I know Allah is the best of planners but inside of me knows this isn’t what he wants it’s always “my mum this, my mum that”. That’s another thing, there’s being a mummy’s boy, then there’s being fed by your mother and he’s a 27 year old man and I’m in my early 20s. Is he feeling the family pressures that he’s expressing on to me or something I don’t even want to get into that to save myself the trouble but honestly half the things he says and does is currently giving me the biggest ick.
Unfortunately, for the few weeks and maybe even months up until the wedding, is when you are going to be the most distant with your partner, more snappy and so forth. It’s the truth. Wedding preparations is fucking long and you both are always going to feel overwhelmed. Even for me, my partner was so overwhelmed with making sure everything was perfect and if I wasn’t so demanding, I’m sure he’d loved to be left alone to do his own thing LMAO. But I was like nope! You are going to see me and you’re going to take me out!
You just have to remind yourself that this will all be over soon and you’ll be able to get back to normal. Sometimes it even takes a while after the wedding to regulate your emotions. Wedding stress will take it OUT of you. As much as I loved my nikkah, bitch I aint doing it again LOL. I was an emotional wreck. If my dress or whatever wasn’t available, that was enough in my eyes to make me cry. If my partner was too busy, I’d be emotional. If my family were being annoying, I’d make me stressed out. The point is, you’re not yourself when you’re planning a wedding. It’s like you’re on your period 24/7. It’s the ghetto
Regarding your second issue, what decisions do you want to make and ask yourself, are you in a position to make such demands? If he is struggling and is just looking for a roof over your head, be chill. Its very hard to find a home right now and he might just be doing his best. Don’t be like I need a fitted kitchen, I have to have an ensuite, just let him find what makes sense with his finances. Obviously if it’s the gutter (which I doubt it), then you can be like no, this isn’t right. Just see it this way, he will find a home and you’ll be the one that makes it a home. Good?
Also, he’s probably worried about his mum and what she thinks because she is the one who is planning everything. Men don’t know what they’re doing. On the grooms side, its always the mum who is sorting everything out. He is just fitting the bill. I know you’re emotional, but just step back and have a little perspective.
To the sister talking about how she has a bad past and wants to tell her fiance that she committed Zina, please advise her or let her see this that she shouldn’t! She has repented for her sins and unless she has a disease or complication from Zina like HIV that can affect her future spouse she should keep quiet. Do not expose your sins, keep them cloaked. In Islam we shouldn’t expose our sins and honestly it will do more harm than good to the relationship. If he asks don’t lie just say “Alhamdulillah Allah has kept me away from that”. Which is not lying at all. Please ladies never expose your sins, it doesn’t make you less of a woman for comitting Zina, just repent and ask for forgiveness and move on, life has many trials and people will judge you! Dont make life harder for yourself.
A man who doesn’t want you for a past Allah has forgiven you for isnt the man for you.
You tell em!!! *clicks fingers*
ٱلسَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ ٱللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ sisters
I hope you are all doing well ❤️
I’m currently interested in getting involved in the tech industry but I’m not sure how to. Do you need experience? And what was your journey like to tech?
I’m currently a student nurse but I’m not really interested in this field of work anymore and I have an interest of maybe getting into tech but not sure how to. Any advice will be appreciated, Thank you.
My journey was a bit weird because I have always been computer literate from a very young age, I just didn’t know you could get a good career out of that. So it wasn’t really an option for me. Wallahi looking back if I knew, I would have 100% done my undergrad in computing. It wasn’t until I met my husband that I saw it as a viable option for me and that’s when I decided to pursue it.
Computing is very hard, and coding is a completely different ball game. Don’t let people lie to you when they say its easy. For someone like me, who is very very quick at solving computing problems, I can spend up to 5 hours trying to figure out one fucked up problem in my code. Sometimes you get it, and when you do, uh its great. But when you don’t? Wallahi that feeling is enough to make you want to through the towel in. Which is why I decided to do a masters. When I know money is on the line, when I know my academic transcript is on the line, I won’t give up. I will spend 12 hours figuring out something if I have to.
You actually don’t need a degree though, but it absolutely does help getting your foot in the door. Most firms won’t consider you for internships without having a technical degree (its doesn’t need to be computing). If you have a degree in maths based subjects, you’re good. Critical thinking degrees though are pretty much useless, and its what I had, so I knew I needed to do a masters to spruce it up a bit and alhamdulilah I was able to find a placement.
There are so many courses for women online, and a lot of those companies end up setting you up with other work programme. It’s a good way of cutting corners, but it requires a lot of dedication to complete such compact and THICK courses. Because if you miss one thing, you have to start all over again.