Hi Lula! YOUR ADVICE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE IN TWO WEEKS! You don’t even know me but wallahi billahi I honestly love you for that!!! May Allah swt grant you everything you’ve ever wanted in this life and the next. May Allah preserve you and May Allah grant you a place in jannah for having a kind heart to help. This page has saved me and thank you so much honestly!! I’ve taken the steering wheel in my life and boy has your advice helped. I was here feeling ugly in my 20s ( MY PRIME YEARS loool I’m deeping how mad I was) and I asked you about if a guy would ever marry an ugly girl and you honestly gave me the best advice which was basically to fix the things I hated about myself. So your girl has started a diet, is taking driving lessons, only spreading positive energy, trying to learn how to do makeup and I honestly feel so empowered that I don’t even care about a man right now and just loving who I’m becoming.
Awwwww I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this support. Thank you for always reading and asking in. This is so sweet! Ameen AMEEN! Honestly I appreciate your duas so much.
Anon
3 years ago
Hiya, love your page I genuinely treat it like a daily newspaper at this point. So my dilemma is that I don’t think a guy has ever liked me for me I’m a 21yr old female I have spoken to a couple of guys but I have the strong gut feeling that they only like the perception they have of me instead of me. I’m a girl who is confident, sure of herself, who has good relationships in her life. Over the last year I have further solidified the relationships with my friends and I know that my friends are people who love me for me. Even though this isn’t pressing I have a feeling it isn’t an issue of mine and probably the guys I’ve spoken to but what are some tips you have to potentially stop this happening more often because it’s frustrating
Thank you xx
The older I get, the more I notice that most people don’t have the time or energy to put into being around other people just to be nice. Sure, if it’s school or work or a family friend or some other person who has some social obligation to be around you, maybe they are just being nice.
But if somebody is making a point to send you a text or ask you to hang out, that means they want to hang out with you. Sure, maybe it’s just because they’re bored and want company, but they thought to text you. They thought to invite you. Even if you are just one of many on a list of people they like to hang out or talk with, you are still on that list. Something about you makes you worth being around, for them.
When I started believing people’s actions, my friendships immediately became a lot closer. Because when you assume they’re only tolerating you, you tend to mentally distance yourself from people to avoid being hurt. For instance, I was often turning down invitations because I assumed I was just being invited out of politeness. That meant that I was the one treating the friendship as disposable and not putting the work into cultivating our relationship. It was, ironically, a slightly selfish attitude on my part. I was disappointing people by not showing up, because I thought nobody would notice whether I was there or not.
If someone treats you as a friend, believe them. If they’re not really treating you as a friend, then they aren’t good friends.
Sis just delete all the girls off his snap. Let him know you don’t feel comfortable, if he makes a problem out of it…. It’s a problem then x. May Allah make everything easier for you and give you barakah.
Btw for those of you that want to reply you can copy the question by pressing this 🔗red thing on the side of the question xx
Yes this is a great way of replying back to certain questions
just copy the link
Anon
3 years ago
Hi girls, Inshallah you both are doing well and are in the best of health. Congratulations on creating this amazing platform that has uplifted, inspired and guided us all. My problem is I’m 24 and have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life, career wise. I graduated three years ago and have been working in a role related to my field, however I just don’t see the end goal. I’ve yet to find a career and think ‘that’s exactly what I want to do’ and I just feel lost. My friends either work in their chosen fields or are in the process of working towards it, which makes me feel behind. I know I’m young and have time but I also feel like time is running out and I’m wasting years of life not doing anything. Any advice would be great, readers please feel to chip in to help a sister out xx
You don’t have to. Try a bunch of different jobs, see which ones you like, and then follow whatever interests you. It’s the same way you find out what you’re passionate about outside of your work life. Let’s say you’re passionate about creating content. Chances are, you weren’t passionate about it until you tried it, maybe you tried it a few times before it clicked that you got something enjoyable out of it.
Even if you did know for sure what you wanted to do, trying out other things will make you appreciate your chosen path more (or make you realize it maybe isn’t the path you want), either of which is valuable. Nobody knows what they’re doing long-term at your age, that’s ok
Don’t worry about what your friends are doing. Everyone is struggling out here trying to figure out what their purpose is. The saying “you are your own worst emey” holds a lot of weight to it. Learn what negatively influences your life and drop it immediately, especially when it starts making you think negatively of yourself. Doing that will naturally leave you with positive influences and a happier life
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girls I hope you’re good and that Allah is keeping you in the best of health – this is a long one.
I’ve been dating this man for around 8/9 months now and alhamdulillah he’s perfect in every way and we are thinking of marriage, I’ll give you some context
I’m 22 and he’s 26, I’m Somali and he’s Arab, he’s a full time professional footballer and alhamdulillah he makes a lot of money and has told me many times if I choose to work or not he’ll support me Nd our future children either way
He’s loving, caters to my love languages, is emotionally intelligent and is a gentle man, he makes me strive to be a better Muslim too which IMO is the most important thing and I genuinely love him dearly and see him being a perfect husband and father but there’s one issue
My mum and dad ate EXTREMELY traditional Somalis and they would have a problem with me marrying a different qabil let alone a different race entirely, I’ve spoken to my brother and he knows of this man and said that men who are footballers (especially in the premier league) are not husband material and that I’ll only get my heart broken but I know this isn’t true as I’m a good judge of character and he’s always been very open and honest with me,
How do I speak to my parents on a level without my brothers support as he is ready to come to my dad as soon as I give him my word, I hope you see this sis xx
You might never be able to get their 100% support/blessing to marry who you want.
The more important thing is that they are muslim and praying, other than that your parents should have no reason to not let you marry him.
In my opinion, I would honestly educate them on the deen. They probably won’t respect your opinion and that’s why you should reach out to an elder who can talk to them for you. Personally I would just say I’m getting married whether you like it or not, and deal with the consequences later.
Your family will get over it
Anon
3 years ago
To the sisters struggling with loneliness and looking for meaningful friendships. learn to love yourself & enjoy your own company!! Visit the prayer room of your uni/work and challenge your self to speak to a sister.
I’m on twitter if any sisters want to dm me @visionary_rr <3
I’m about to get married and my soon to be husband wants to give me my mahr upfront.
Idk how much to ask for? It’s weird because ik I shouldn’t ask for too much since he’s working a regular job (60k a year) since we’re young and all but I don’t want to go too low at the same time?
But then I think of how he pays for every date and gets me gold and gifts regularly and also would cover all the finances of the house so it would be kinda unfair if I asked for a very high amount.
If he earns 60k, he’s probably taking home 3.5k roughly per month. I think asking for 5-6k is appropriate. 10k is definitely quite high considering it would take him 3 1/2 months to even make that.
Anon
3 years ago
What’s the best advice someone has ever given YOU?
My dad and uncle always tell me no matter how good or bad things get, they will change.
Life is just a cycle of things going up and down. One day it’ll be good, another day It’ll be shit. Don’t become too invested in either of those two, since they’ll never last. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel bad or happy about things, it just means that most of the time it’s best to just go with the flow.
Ride with the flow, don’t let the flow ride you!
Anon
3 years ago
May Allah swt grant you endless barakah sis, I just read your answers and I’m always like go off sis. I love your advice so much
Is it bad if I’m in my early twenties and this guy is in his early thirties?
Nope
Hi Lula! YOUR ADVICE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE IN TWO WEEKS! You don’t even know me but wallahi billahi I honestly love you for that!!! May Allah swt grant you everything you’ve ever wanted in this life and the next. May Allah preserve you and May Allah grant you a place in jannah for having a kind heart to help. This page has saved me and thank you so much honestly!! I’ve taken the steering wheel in my life and boy has your advice helped. I was here feeling ugly in my 20s ( MY PRIME YEARS loool I’m deeping how mad I was) and I asked you about if a guy would ever marry an ugly girl and you honestly gave me the best advice which was basically to fix the things I hated about myself. So your girl has started a diet, is taking driving lessons, only spreading positive energy, trying to learn how to do makeup and I honestly feel so empowered that I don’t even care about a man right now and just loving who I’m becoming.
Awwwww I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this support. Thank you for always reading and asking in. This is so sweet! Ameen AMEEN! Honestly I appreciate your duas so much.
Hiya, love your page I genuinely treat it like a daily newspaper at this point. So my dilemma is that I don’t think a guy has ever liked me for me I’m a 21yr old female I have spoken to a couple of guys but I have the strong gut feeling that they only like the perception they have of me instead of me. I’m a girl who is confident, sure of herself, who has good relationships in her life. Over the last year I have further solidified the relationships with my friends and I know that my friends are people who love me for me. Even though this isn’t pressing I have a feeling it isn’t an issue of mine and probably the guys I’ve spoken to but what are some tips you have to potentially stop this happening more often because it’s frustrating
Thank you xx
The older I get, the more I notice that most people don’t have the time or energy to put into being around other people just to be nice. Sure, if it’s school or work or a family friend or some other person who has some social obligation to be around you, maybe they are just being nice.
But if somebody is making a point to send you a text or ask you to hang out, that means they want to hang out with you. Sure, maybe it’s just because they’re bored and want company, but they thought to text you. They thought to invite you. Even if you are just one of many on a list of people they like to hang out or talk with, you are still on that list. Something about you makes you worth being around, for them.
When I started believing people’s actions, my friendships immediately became a lot closer. Because when you assume they’re only tolerating you, you tend to mentally distance yourself from people to avoid being hurt. For instance, I was often turning down invitations because I assumed I was just being invited out of politeness. That meant that I was the one treating the friendship as disposable and not putting the work into cultivating our relationship. It was, ironically, a slightly selfish attitude on my part. I was disappointing people by not showing up, because I thought nobody would notice whether I was there or not.
If someone treats you as a friend, believe them. If they’re not really treating you as a friend, then they aren’t good friends.
https://thesisterguide.com/comment-page-58/#comment-1347
Sis just delete all the girls off his snap. Let him know you don’t feel comfortable, if he makes a problem out of it…. It’s a problem then x. May Allah make everything easier for you and give you barakah.
Btw for those of you that want to reply you can copy the question by pressing this 🔗red thing on the side of the question xx
Yes this is a great way of replying back to certain questions
just copy the link
Hi girls, Inshallah you both are doing well and are in the best of health. Congratulations on creating this amazing platform that has uplifted, inspired and guided us all. My problem is I’m 24 and have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life, career wise. I graduated three years ago and have been working in a role related to my field, however I just don’t see the end goal. I’ve yet to find a career and think ‘that’s exactly what I want to do’ and I just feel lost. My friends either work in their chosen fields or are in the process of working towards it, which makes me feel behind. I know I’m young and have time but I also feel like time is running out and I’m wasting years of life not doing anything. Any advice would be great, readers please feel to chip in to help a sister out xx
You don’t have to. Try a bunch of different jobs, see which ones you like, and then follow whatever interests you. It’s the same way you find out what you’re passionate about outside of your work life. Let’s say you’re passionate about creating content. Chances are, you weren’t passionate about it until you tried it, maybe you tried it a few times before it clicked that you got something enjoyable out of it.
Even if you did know for sure what you wanted to do, trying out other things will make you appreciate your chosen path more (or make you realize it maybe isn’t the path you want), either of which is valuable. Nobody knows what they’re doing long-term at your age, that’s ok
Don’t worry about what your friends are doing. Everyone is struggling out here trying to figure out what their purpose is. The saying “you are your own worst emey” holds a lot of weight to it. Learn what negatively influences your life and drop it immediately, especially when it starts making you think negatively of yourself. Doing that will naturally leave you with positive influences and a happier life
Hey girls I hope you’re good and that Allah is keeping you in the best of health – this is a long one.
I’ve been dating this man for around 8/9 months now and alhamdulillah he’s perfect in every way and we are thinking of marriage, I’ll give you some context
I’m 22 and he’s 26, I’m Somali and he’s Arab, he’s a full time professional footballer and alhamdulillah he makes a lot of money and has told me many times if I choose to work or not he’ll support me Nd our future children either way
He’s loving, caters to my love languages, is emotionally intelligent and is a gentle man, he makes me strive to be a better Muslim too which IMO is the most important thing and I genuinely love him dearly and see him being a perfect husband and father but there’s one issue
My mum and dad ate EXTREMELY traditional Somalis and they would have a problem with me marrying a different qabil let alone a different race entirely, I’ve spoken to my brother and he knows of this man and said that men who are footballers (especially in the premier league) are not husband material and that I’ll only get my heart broken but I know this isn’t true as I’m a good judge of character and he’s always been very open and honest with me,
How do I speak to my parents on a level without my brothers support as he is ready to come to my dad as soon as I give him my word, I hope you see this sis xx
You might never be able to get their 100% support/blessing to marry who you want.
The more important thing is that they are muslim and praying, other than that your parents should have no reason to not let you marry him.
In my opinion, I would honestly educate them on the deen. They probably won’t respect your opinion and that’s why you should reach out to an elder who can talk to them for you. Personally I would just say I’m getting married whether you like it or not, and deal with the consequences later.
Your family will get over it
To the sisters struggling with loneliness and looking for meaningful friendships. learn to love yourself & enjoy your own company!! Visit the prayer room of your uni/work and challenge your self to speak to a sister.
I’m on twitter if any sisters want to dm me @visionary_rr <3
Awwwww this is so cute !
Heyyy,
I’m about to get married and my soon to be husband wants to give me my mahr upfront.
Idk how much to ask for? It’s weird because ik I shouldn’t ask for too much since he’s working a regular job (60k a year) since we’re young and all but I don’t want to go too low at the same time?
But then I think of how he pays for every date and gets me gold and gifts regularly and also would cover all the finances of the house so it would be kinda unfair if I asked for a very high amount.
Is 10k too much for this situation?
If he earns 60k, he’s probably taking home 3.5k roughly per month. I think asking for 5-6k is appropriate. 10k is definitely quite high considering it would take him 3 1/2 months to even make that.
What’s the best advice someone has ever given YOU?
My dad and uncle always tell me no matter how good or bad things get, they will change.
Life is just a cycle of things going up and down. One day it’ll be good, another day It’ll be shit. Don’t become too invested in either of those two, since they’ll never last. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel bad or happy about things, it just means that most of the time it’s best to just go with the flow.
Ride with the flow, don’t let the flow ride you!
May Allah swt grant you endless barakah sis, I just read your answers and I’m always like go off sis. I love your advice so much
Awwww ameen sis, thank you very much 🙂