Hey sis, I have a bit of a dilemma regarding a guy I am getting to know. After being encouraged by friends to join a Muslim dating app as I would like to get to know someone with the intention of marriage, I did end up joining one. There’s one particular guy I have been getting to know the last month, and tbh I feel like I have got to know his personality to a certain extent and I am able to make a judgment on whether I want to get to know more, and I do. When I asked him, he accused me of asking a crazy question as it is too early and we haven’t met in person yet. Am I crazy to think you can make a judgment on whether you want to get to know someone more after speaking for weeks?
Secondly, he is weird. Stop talking to him. He could have simply answered the question, instead of making you sound crazy. Red flag
Anon
3 years ago
To that girl who said she gets looks from guys but nobody approaches her, it could be because she is just very pretty. People don’t realize that being very pretty makes you intimidating so men won’t move to you in person in fear of being rejected but they will approach you where its safer on social media. Most models and ig girls find their boyfriends online in the dm’s for that reason.
If he refuses to define the relationship, he doesn’t want to claim you – he will say shit like “I don’t believe in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship whatever and will use religion (even tho it’s true but what, do you believe in a situationship instead???)
He never takes initiative to take you out, rather be on the phone to you instead.
When he does take you out: it’s to the park, coffee shop or for a walk. Never a real date.
And he’s never gotten you flowers!!!
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girlies,
Quick question, is it too much to talk about marriage within 5/6 months during the talking stage. We’ve already spoken about intentions but to talk about a specific date and when I’d like it to happen is that full on?
Too soon is when you don’t feel like you’re ready. Every relationship progresses at a different pace so there is no saying when is too soon. When you know you know. Some people could be months, some people take years and some people never feel like getting married. I would say in general a couple months into a relationship is too soon to talk about marriage just simply based on the fact that’s not a lot of time to get to know someone well enough to say you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with them but to each their own. I just feel like planning to get married is very stressful, it’s not a fun process. The first year you guys are together should feel like it’s FUN, you have no responsibilities, and this is your time to just have an escape. Putting so much pressure on your nice little bubble is that fattest way to make it feel like WORK. Because talking about commitment and planning a wedding is WORK.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer in terms of actual time, but if either of you doesn’t feel 100% ready to make that commitment, it’s too soon. That could take six months, or it could take ten years. It’s also important to make sure that both partners entirely understand the commitment and expectations before agreeing to it, which is where the ‘a couple of months is too soon’ factors in.
Anon
3 years ago
The guy I’m about to get married to recently confessed to me he once paid for a girl’s onlyfans (years back btw not while we were speaking) and i can’t look past that. I honestly feel so sick I’m even thinking of calling off thing. Am I taking things too far ?
Our wedding is supposed to be in a couple months and we’ve met each other’s families.
Why did he even tell you 😭 but omg, that is very weird. I actually don’t know what to say, because that to me is basically like paying for a porn subscription and PORN IS FREE. So clearly you must have a problem.
Gosh idk sis, you are getting married. You need to come up with that decision yourself
Anon
3 years ago
So me and my friend got a concert ticket for an upcoming artist in London we fell out a few days ago and she’s not going I don’t want to sell the tickets because I love this artist but the idea of going to a concert by myself makes me sick lmao but o low-key feel like I’ll enjoy it at the end , I’m just dreading the part where I’m in the line on my own Loool any advice sis
Ask someone randomly you’re not even close to- to come with you. It could be the start of a new friendship.
But yes still go and be lit!
Anon
3 years ago
Hey girls I’ve been getting to know this guy for about a year now. Honestly he’s amazing, the only issue is he’s divorced. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with that whatever is written is written. He’s told me the reason of his divorce and has never spoken ill/bad of her. Although I’ll never truly know the full extent since there’s always two sides. However I’m just scared. I just have this fear and scenarios that my brain creates and I get scared. He’s never gave me a reason to feel this way but because the amount of stories I hear about divorced men never being over their ex etc or once they get divorced it’s a pattern. I’m just extremely scared and would like some advice.
It all depends on the person and the divorce. If he’s bitter and dragging around a lot of baggage, or if the reason he divorced is because he is a bad judge of character/bad at relationships, then I don’t want to date him. Essentially, the divorce isn’t what matters, but it is an indication that there could be problems.
Also as much as people like to paint divorcee’s as naive and they’re bad at judging peoples characters. They tend to be a lot more wiser than people who are single and haven’t been in relationships. And they are less likely to make that mistake again twice, some don’t even want to marry again. So when a divorcee is still optimistic, still hopeful and are willing to try again – despite whatever it was they went through, that to me anyway is a really good sign. Not many people are willing to try again.
Anon
3 years ago
My husband says he doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Yes Ik your going to say I should of set the standard early but I guess I didn’t. We got into a huge argument when I tried to tlk to him about it. He said I’m selfish and immature for forcing him to celebrt the holiday for me. He is always busy working and helping out his family be Nieves and nephews so he doesn’t really do romantic things for me anymore. I’m honestly unhappy. I’ve expressed to him I’d like to spend more time but it’s hard for him to juggle everything. He is an amazing provider and gets me most things I ask for but I just don’t want to keep ask anymore. Help!!!
Relationships are about compromise and respecting each other’s wants. Valentines day is technically a stupid holiday but us girls care about it, there’s no problem in that. Even if he personally thinks its silly, he should be willing to make an effort if he cares about you. Explain that to him:
“If you care about me, you should care about the things that make me happy. I’m not asking for much, literally flowers and a card would suffice. But If I’m being honest, the fact you’re not willing to do something so small just to make me happy is worrying. Even if you were doing it to be selfish, because keeping me happy brings you peace. But even then you don’t want to do it.”
I just have one question. Is he truly following the “doesn’t need a day to specifically to be romantic” ideology or is he failing at that too?
There’s nothing wrong with not being into vday, but the idea that its a big deal to make an effort on THAT day seems . It also says what you feel about a notion is more important than what that person otherwise means to you. Honestly keep an eye out for his other tendencies to be a stubborn, humorless pain in the ass who has a lot to learn about compromising in a relationship to make one’s partner happy.
And when he doesn’t make you happy, don’t even engage in him. The smartest way to deal with men is to show them how quickly their lack of attention won’t be in his best interest. Stop being affectionate, always go on the phone, ignore his whole existence until he pays attention to your wants and needs. When men don’t listen, you have to make them feel
Anon
3 years ago
Hi please respond to me. I’ve messaged asking what to do. I really struggle to make friends and frankly I don’t don’t any solid one. My wedding is coming up soon and I’m terrified I won’t have any gf by my side. What do I do?
Girlssss let me put you on to @ Covered’N’Curly on Instagram n Tiktok, she’s gives lots of hair care advice for the type 3/4 hijabis i.e satin under scarf not cotton, braiding/twisting hair not buns & sooo many other tips wallahi proper gem ❤️
Hey sis, I have a bit of a dilemma regarding a guy I am getting to know. After being encouraged by friends to join a Muslim dating app as I would like to get to know someone with the intention of marriage, I did end up joining one. There’s one particular guy I have been getting to know the last month, and tbh I feel like I have got to know his personality to a certain extent and I am able to make a judgment on whether I want to get to know more, and I do. When I asked him, he accused me of asking a crazy question as it is too early and we haven’t met in person yet. Am I crazy to think you can make a judgment on whether you want to get to know someone more after speaking for weeks?
Firstly, you did nothing wrong.
Secondly, he is weird. Stop talking to him. He could have simply answered the question, instead of making you sound crazy. Red flag
To that girl who said she gets looks from guys but nobody approaches her, it could be because she is just very pretty. People don’t realize that being very pretty makes you intimidating so men won’t move to you in person in fear of being rejected but they will approach you where its safer on social media. Most models and ig girls find their boyfriends online in the dm’s for that reason.
This is also very true
signs that a guy is not that interested and is unserious
If he refuses to define the relationship, he doesn’t want to claim you – he will say shit like “I don’t believe in a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship whatever and will use religion (even tho it’s true but what, do you believe in a situationship instead???)
He never takes initiative to take you out, rather be on the phone to you instead.
When he does take you out: it’s to the park, coffee shop or for a walk. Never a real date.
And he’s never gotten you flowers!!!
Hey girlies,
Quick question, is it too much to talk about marriage within 5/6 months during the talking stage. We’ve already spoken about intentions but to talk about a specific date and when I’d like it to happen is that full on?
Too soon is when you don’t feel like you’re ready. Every relationship progresses at a different pace so there is no saying when is too soon. When you know you know. Some people could be months, some people take years and some people never feel like getting married. I would say in general a couple months into a relationship is too soon to talk about marriage just simply based on the fact that’s not a lot of time to get to know someone well enough to say you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with them but to each their own. I just feel like planning to get married is very stressful, it’s not a fun process. The first year you guys are together should feel like it’s FUN, you have no responsibilities, and this is your time to just have an escape. Putting so much pressure on your nice little bubble is that fattest way to make it feel like WORK. Because talking about commitment and planning a wedding is WORK.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer in terms of actual time, but if either of you doesn’t feel 100% ready to make that commitment, it’s too soon. That could take six months, or it could take ten years. It’s also important to make sure that both partners entirely understand the commitment and expectations before agreeing to it, which is where the ‘a couple of months is too soon’ factors in.
The guy I’m about to get married to recently confessed to me he once paid for a girl’s onlyfans (years back btw not while we were speaking) and i can’t look past that. I honestly feel so sick I’m even thinking of calling off thing. Am I taking things too far ?
Our wedding is supposed to be in a couple months and we’ve met each other’s families.
Why did he even tell you 😭 but omg, that is very weird. I actually don’t know what to say, because that to me is basically like paying for a porn subscription and PORN IS FREE. So clearly you must have a problem.
Gosh idk sis, you are getting married. You need to come up with that decision yourself
So me and my friend got a concert ticket for an upcoming artist in London we fell out a few days ago and she’s not going I don’t want to sell the tickets because I love this artist but the idea of going to a concert by myself makes me sick lmao but o low-key feel like I’ll enjoy it at the end , I’m just dreading the part where I’m in the line on my own Loool any advice sis
Ask someone randomly you’re not even close to- to come with you. It could be the start of a new friendship.
But yes still go and be lit!
Hey girls I’ve been getting to know this guy for about a year now. Honestly he’s amazing, the only issue is he’s divorced. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with that whatever is written is written. He’s told me the reason of his divorce and has never spoken ill/bad of her. Although I’ll never truly know the full extent since there’s always two sides. However I’m just scared. I just have this fear and scenarios that my brain creates and I get scared. He’s never gave me a reason to feel this way but because the amount of stories I hear about divorced men never being over their ex etc or once they get divorced it’s a pattern. I’m just extremely scared and would like some advice.
It all depends on the person and the divorce. If he’s bitter and dragging around a lot of baggage, or if the reason he divorced is because he is a bad judge of character/bad at relationships, then I don’t want to date him. Essentially, the divorce isn’t what matters, but it is an indication that there could be problems.
Also as much as people like to paint divorcee’s as naive and they’re bad at judging peoples characters. They tend to be a lot more wiser than people who are single and haven’t been in relationships. And they are less likely to make that mistake again twice, some don’t even want to marry again. So when a divorcee is still optimistic, still hopeful and are willing to try again – despite whatever it was they went through, that to me anyway is a really good sign. Not many people are willing to try again.
My husband says he doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Yes Ik your going to say I should of set the standard early but I guess I didn’t. We got into a huge argument when I tried to tlk to him about it. He said I’m selfish and immature for forcing him to celebrt the holiday for me. He is always busy working and helping out his family be Nieves and nephews so he doesn’t really do romantic things for me anymore. I’m honestly unhappy. I’ve expressed to him I’d like to spend more time but it’s hard for him to juggle everything. He is an amazing provider and gets me most things I ask for but I just don’t want to keep ask anymore. Help!!!
Relationships are about compromise and respecting each other’s wants. Valentines day is technically a stupid holiday but us girls care about it, there’s no problem in that. Even if he personally thinks its silly, he should be willing to make an effort if he cares about you. Explain that to him:
“If you care about me, you should care about the things that make me happy. I’m not asking for much, literally flowers and a card would suffice. But If I’m being honest, the fact you’re not willing to do something so small just to make me happy is worrying. Even if you were doing it to be selfish, because keeping me happy brings you peace. But even then you don’t want to do it.”
I just have one question. Is he truly following the “doesn’t need a day to specifically to be romantic” ideology or is he failing at that too?
There’s nothing wrong with not being into vday, but the idea that its a big deal to make an effort on THAT day seems . It also says what you feel about a notion is more important than what that person otherwise means to you. Honestly keep an eye out for his other tendencies to be a stubborn, humorless pain in the ass who has a lot to learn about compromising in a relationship to make one’s partner happy.
And when he doesn’t make you happy, don’t even engage in him. The smartest way to deal with men is to show them how quickly their lack of attention won’t be in his best interest. Stop being affectionate, always go on the phone, ignore his whole existence until he pays attention to your wants and needs. When men don’t listen, you have to make them feel
Hi please respond to me. I’ve messaged asking what to do. I really struggle to make friends and frankly I don’t don’t any solid one. My wedding is coming up soon and I’m terrified I won’t have any gf by my side. What do I do?
https://thesisterguide.com/#comment-1556
Girlssss let me put you on to @ Covered’N’Curly on Instagram n Tiktok, she’s gives lots of hair care advice for the type 3/4 hijabis i.e satin under scarf not cotton, braiding/twisting hair not buns & sooo many other tips wallahi proper gem ❤️
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