I just wanted advice on my current life situation. i’ve been dating men who we’re neither financially ready, bums and people who if i look at my standards they’re way below them. 

Recently i’ve been having an existential crisis. Trying to figure out why i make the decisions that i do, i’ve been trying to be more self aware but i would like insight from someone outside. Id really like to change this about myself and be more confident and also to stop wasting time in finding someone who’s my potential. 

I've recently stopped talking to someone who I feel like I was in love with due to some external factors. we weren’t in a relationship as I didn’t want it to have that bf and gf label but we were talking about marriage and heading in that direction. 

I’m really struggling with how to get over this/him. Part of me says I won’t find someone like him again who will be so sweet to me but another part says I’m still young so ofc I will find someone who will also treat me well. I’m keeping myself busy and trying not to to think about him but it’s when I have any alone time that hes constantly in my head. 

I was friends with a group of girls during high school/sixth form and university but after finishing uni, I soon realised the different paths we were on I did not want to be around certain things and because I went through a lot aged 16-21 I knew exactly what I wanted in life and I knew I would not get far if I remained in that circle so I chose to remove myself from the friendship group. At that time, I wasn’t troubled or bothered about having friends or going out because I was so so busy focusing on myself, my life, setting goals and Alhamdulilah accomplishing all the things that I have dreamt of having/doing.

I only have one sister and she is really young, we have a 8+ years age gap and the rest of my siblings are all boys. So even when I am at home, I don’t have anyone that I can really speak to, relate with, seek advice from or even express my feelings to. But I am really grateful for even having siblings, they keep me entertained. Alhamdulilah, I am happy in life, I do try to make sure that I am distracted but sometimes I get really emotional because I have no one to speak to. Now that I am 25, Wallahi, I wish I had a sister close to my age, I even find myself imagining how different my life would be if I had that sister. My mum is my bestfriend but there’s so much I can talk to her about and I don’t want to burden her.

My wardrobe is filled with dressing up outfits/bags/shoes with their tags still on them (literal years of collection) because I don’t go out and I don’t even have anyone to go out with. Honestly, my daily routine is, work, gym and home. I don’t take annual leave because I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and I don’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing. I actually prefer being at work where atleast I’m distracted and busy. Monday mornings and Friday afternoons always hit the hardest with the “ how was your weekend” or “ what are you doing this weekend” which I just quickly brush off, because I have nothing to say.

I do spoil and take care of myself with no limits, hair salon, spa/hammams, shopping, going out to eat by myself, I do this to make myself happy but I can’t lie it gets really sad because it is a constant reminder of how lonely I am because I’m doing it by myself all the time. I do have work friends but they’re all from different ethnic & religious backgrounds and we have nothing in common. I’m not expecting much from this, but I just wanted to share that being lonely sucks!!!   

I do want to meet genuine girls / have genuine friendships but I don’t know how or where to start, and it doesn’t help that I’m such a shy and reserved person. I think it will be harder to make friends now at this age, I just pray that Allah keeps me content and protects me always.

sorry for over sharing, Lool I don’t have anyone to share with!!

I go on reddit all the time and I just want to say thank you for having something similar because i feel like this is a much safer place to get opinions from the sister community

I want start by saying we're a couple who jumped into marriage at the ages of 23 (that's me, the wife) and 29 (my husband), thanks to an arranged marriage setup. I'm reaching out because we've hit a bit of a rough patch and could use some friendly advice.

The thing is, he spends most of his time playing games and hanging out with his friends. It feels like he's living a bachelor's life while I'm left to pick up the slack and pay for half of everything. I've tried talking to him about sharing responsibilities, but it just falls on deaf ears.

To make matters worse, his hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, and it's starting to affect our intimacy. One day, he asked to be intimate, and I responded quite harshly, telling him that I no longer find him attractive. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, but my frustration got the best of me.

What's challenging about this situation is that, despite him being older than me, I often feel like I'm the more mature one in our relationship. I've been reflecting on whether I rushed into this marriage due to the arranged marriage setup, and now I'm not sure if I want to continue down this path.

I'm at a crossroads, unsure of how to navigate these issues and whether our marriage is salvageable. Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated as I try to find clarity and decide what's best for my future.