I was friends with a group of girls during high school/sixth form and university but after finishing uni, I soon realised the different paths we were on I did not want to be around certain things and because I went through a lot aged 16-21 I knew exactly what I wanted in life and I knew I would not get far if I remained in that circle so I chose to remove myself from the friendship group. At that time, I wasn’t troubled or bothered about having friends or going out because I was so so busy focusing on myself, my life, setting goals and Alhamdulilah accomplishing all the things that I have dreamt of having/doing.

I only have one sister and she is really young, we have a 8+ years age gap and the rest of my siblings are all boys. So even when I am at home, I don’t have anyone that I can really speak to, relate with, seek advice from or even express my feelings to. But I am really grateful for even having siblings, they keep me entertained. Alhamdulilah, I am happy in life, I do try to make sure that I am distracted but sometimes I get really emotional because I have no one to speak to. Now that I am 25, Wallahi, I wish I had a sister close to my age, I even find myself imagining how different my life would be if I had that sister. My mum is my bestfriend but there’s so much I can talk to her about and I don’t want to burden her.

My wardrobe is filled with dressing up outfits/bags/shoes with their tags still on them (literal years of collection) because I don’t go out and I don’t even have anyone to go out with. Honestly, my daily routine is, work, gym and home. I don’t take annual leave because I have nothing to do, nowhere to go and I don’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing. I actually prefer being at work where atleast I’m distracted and busy. Monday mornings and Friday afternoons always hit the hardest with the “ how was your weekend” or “ what are you doing this weekend” which I just quickly brush off, because I have nothing to say.

I do spoil and take care of myself with no limits, hair salon, spa/hammams, shopping, going out to eat by myself, I do this to make myself happy but I can’t lie it gets really sad because it is a constant reminder of how lonely I am because I’m doing it by myself all the time. I do have work friends but they’re all from different ethnic & religious backgrounds and we have nothing in common. I’m not expecting much from this, but I just wanted to share that being lonely sucks!!!   

I do want to meet genuine girls / have genuine friendships but I don’t know how or where to start, and it doesn’t help that I’m such a shy and reserved person. I think it will be harder to make friends now at this age, I just pray that Allah keeps me content and protects me always.

sorry for over sharing, Lool I don’t have anyone to share with!!