How would you deal with a colourist friend? I’ve been friends with this girl for years and she was never like this at the beginning, we’re really close and I consider one of my best friends. However, recently she’s been making weird colourist remarks. Saying things like I’m so glad i’m lightskin, Alhamdulilah i’m lightskin etc. I just find it really uncomfortable because how do i even respond to that. I did mention to her that since she likes darker skin men that she could have a darkskin daughter in the future but she just brushed it off and changed the topic. How do I deal with this? Outside of this she’s a great friend.
Honestly, I would try and distance myself away from a person like that. You could try and educate them on colorism and how what they are saying is harmful ( if you want). However, seeing how they reacted to a previous interaction about colorism, I doubt that they’ll listen. So it may just be best stay away from them.
Anon
7 months ago
Hey Lulu, tips on what you think men like in a women before marriage. I’m working on myself and how I treat my partner. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of difficult thoughts about men as I’ve dealt with an abusive and now absent father and some other things.
Essentially I’m asking how to optimise myself and be someone that my man loves to be around? Any general tips would be appreciated!
For the most part that there exists a notion of the “ideal woman” that many women feel compelled to emulate in order to appear more appealing to potential partners.
And it doesn’t actually benefit them, not even in the slightest. I say that because, the idea is that women should base their entire personalities around men. Which doesn’t leave any room for personal development, people who try to copy this “look” end up not really having any depth to them.
I think when it comes to dating, it’s just really important to be yourself. Don’t subscribe to the opinion that you must be like xyz in order to get a good man. Trust me, its not true. I also find that girls like that tend to be really boring to be around even as friends, so I can’t even image what its like to date them.
Have your own opinion of the world. Don’t be someone that constantly talks about what other people think, because no one wants to be around someone that is a sheep. Be confident. If you are a confident, outgoing girl then guys will automatically be more drawn to you. There is a line of course, being arrogant or constantly implying that you’re above someone’s league is definitely not a good idea.
Be compassionate, understanding, and a good listener. I find that it’s easier for people to open up to you when you make them feel safe. Being combative, argumentative, petty etc just makes you hard to love. It doesn’t make a man want you even more (not sure where people got this from either). In the beginning no one really has grace for the other, so they won’t take into account past traumas or negative experiences.
Anon
7 months ago
Hey guys so I have a question about whether or not how I’m feeling is justified or I’m speaking from a place of insecurity. My man and I have been together for 5 years now we’re 26 and 28 and for some time now I’ve noticed that he follows random women he either doesn’t know or isn’t close with on Instagram. These women are attractive women too and not celebrities just LOCAL GIRLS from the city 😭 which I think is worse. Personally I look at it from a perspective of what’s the point? Are you using ur ig as a dating app at this point or what? But everytime I bring it up there’s no change and he unfollows them alludes to me being insecure..
sorry I guess my question is, is this weird on his part? Or my part for getting uncomfortable?
He is completely disregarding your feelings. People don’t behave that way when they are in a loving/ healthy relationship.
I hate how people try and act like social media activity has no real life consequences. Your social media presence definitely has the power to bleed into your private life. The fact they are local girls are even more reasons why I think this was intentional. It blurs the lines and he knows this, but I don’t think he cares. Maybe he is slowly soft launching singledom, I wouldn’t put it past him.
If this is how this man honours a 5 year relationship wallahi I genuinely think you need to start second guessing where this is going. You also need to realise that you require more reassurance than he is willing to give you. For that reason alone, I would end it.
Anon
7 months ago
My close friend and I moved into a place together last October. I saw it as an opportunity to bond, but within a month she started seeing someone and since we’ve only hung out twice. Both times was because he was busy on those days. I feel kind of sad and lonely. Any advice?
In almost a year, you’ve only hung out twice? In that case, I don’t think she sees you the way you see her unfortunately.
It sucks but just because you live together does not mean you’ll be best friends. Additionally, they’re not entitled to hang out with you all the time, especially if they don’t want to.
One of the key parts of independence is learning how to entertain yourself, doing self-care, reading, watching a movie that you love, by yourself. Essentially, being your own 24/7 best friend. Think about this as a good opportunity to practice this. The point is to never let people who don’t value you make you feel lovely. It’ll feel like shit doing things on your own, but you’ll grow your wings.
And also make new friends! Don’t let this be a shit experience for you, bun her – get new people to hang out with. One’s you don’t have to beg for their time.
Anon
7 months ago
I’m 27, gave up my career/dream because it I no longer enjoyed it as it affected my physical and mental health. I’m going through a lot of health issues and it’s affecting me so much to the point where I feel like I’d be better off d**d. I feel like such a burden to my family, friends and even work. I’m labelled as the girl who’s always sick, which ain’t wrong. I’ve gotten therapy and it’s helped a little but I feel like I’m going backwards again. I’m trying so hard to be grateful for having a roof over my head, food on the table, you know the little blessings we all take for granted. But my health is getting too much and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. All I do is cry, which is like my only coping mechanism. I just don’t ever see myself ever being happy. I can’t remember the last time I was ever genuinely happy. I know the thing I’m lacking in my life is deen and that’s probably why I’m suffering. I just feel so torn sometimes like why am I going through all these struggles? What did I do to deserve this? Like when my health issues started I was a child, what could I have possibly done so wrong to deserve this? I feel so conflicted. I wanna change my ways and get closer to Allah but I keep putting it off. I don’t where where to begin or how. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you
Awww I’m so sorry to hear that sis, and I pray illahi makes it better for you inshallah.
I don’t think I could say anything to resolve this feeling but what I can say is that a person’s experience doesn’t need to match how others say they should feel. You can be grateful for what you have and still feel tormented by feelings of sadness, inadequacy and loneliness. It’s normal. It’s possible to love parts of your life and feel helpless and hurt by others, especially if there are unresolved things that are not being addressed. Maybe for you that’s deen. The issue with depression is that it takes precedent every area of one’s life. So it’s so hard to look at anything else when that is taking all your energy.
There is this book I think you should read it’s called Don’t Be Sad by Dr. A’id al-Qarni. Wallahi the closest thing I can compare it to is like getting a warm hug from someone. Everytime I read that book I cry. But happy tears because the words are so comforting. I really do think you’d benefit from it, and at the very least get a warm hug 🙂
Anon
7 months ago
Hey girls, so I’ve been chatting to this guy for 2 months now, everything was going well until we met up. He was doing everything right but when we met up he said that he liked our date but didn’t know if he felt a romantic spark yet. He still wants to go on a second date and asked me out. I am stuck because I don’t know exactly what he means. Do you think that he isn’t interested and doesn’t want to be rude about it? I just think why would he want to meet again in that case, I could do with some advice
Sis do not go on that second date. He is trying to soft launch the breadcrumbing he’s about to serve you. Because that’s why he wants to go on that second date. Play that sucker at his own game.
“I respect the honesty, but I want you to find that spark you’re looking for. So best of luck babe!”
Anon
7 months ago
Asalamualaykum siss! I hope you’re doing well inshallah. I really need some words of wisdom after this dilemma. I’m 23f and Somali. Last year I went on a date and earlier this year he falsely slandered my chastity and passed along my details in the Somali “mandem” group chat. Bare in mind the participants range from 27-30. This led me into deep depression subhanallah because it felt like the whole world was against me and no one believed me. Fast forward I changed most of my surroundings and focused on my relationship with Allah. I met a man recently who i was getting to know for the sake of marriage. He presented himself as practising but also lived in the same proximity as the man who slandered me so I didn’t assume they’d know each other. We literally got on like a house on fire and then he randomly texted me ending the relationship. I found out a couple days later from someone else how my name was around town and how it’s not looking good. Prior to this my mental health was at its lowest wallahi and Alhamdullilah my Salah was consistent because the anxiety that comment gave me was enough to push me to the edge. I’m not asking how I can redeem myself because why should I prove myself to human beings who switch up. But I just feel like these men are standing in the way of every single person who shows interest. I cried and cried to Allah swt and it brings me so much clarity. I’m just wondering if anyone has been in this position and how to get out of it. I’m just so confused how bummy MEN are bullying me lol😭.
Hey girl, I’m truly sorry to hear about this shitty experience you’ve had to endure. You didn’t deserve it, no one does. And wallahi it’s so important to remember that none of this reflects on your worth as an individual. You are valuable, and you deserve respect and happiness. The actions of those who have slandered you do not define you.
I understand your concern about the men in your community and their influence on your life. It can indeed be disheartening when individuals who should support and uplift you instead cause you pain. It’s soooo important to be cautious moving forward especially about the company we seek and only open your heart to people who share your values and treat you with the respect you deserve.
It’s completely normal to feel confused and hurt by these experiences. You have every right to your emotions. And whilst it may feel like these men are standing in your way, please don’t lose hope. Trust and believe not all men are the same, and there are individuals out there who will appreciate you for who you are and treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve.
A general piece of advice, when getting to know someone, look at who their friends are! Birds of a feather flock together. If his friends are immature and lack respect, he is not far off.
In the meantime, focus on your personal growth and inshallah illahi blesses you with a spouse that protects and honours you in every way that you deserve cutie.
Anon
7 months ago
I went to a private school which filtered out certain websites on the Wi-Fi.
When this website was really active, it was my whole internet history, I would read it whenever I had a break- so much so when I signed in one morning, they had blocked thesisterguide.com!!! Glad you’re back, my guilty pleasure :))
So i met a guy on socials through my burner account, we occupy similar spaces but never really interacted. He reached out one day asking about something random and from then on we talked discussed topics that we see in the spaces we occupy. This lead to us finding out we held the same perspective on everything and our personalities were very compatible. Mind you this whole time this is through my burner and we built some sort of connection through it. Eventually we had a call and we connected even more, it’s like it was fate we met. We discussed our future and before I even said what I wanted he literally said word for word what i’d want from my future partner, we were both shocked that we were on the same page and that it’s like we found our other half. Also i never post anything on my burner, I’m just an active viewer of the space we have in common and just crack jokes, so he had no clue who I actually am and what i value. We confessed having feelings for one another later on and started talking about our future and our plans, everything was moving very quickly. We live in different countries but were already building up a plan for when we’d get married in a few years. We also covered many important marriage questions early on which was good. Later on we did a face reveal because we weren’t planning on doing that early on since we didn’t have that initial trust in place initially(since it’s the internet and stranger danger). We were both happy with the face reveal but after the face reveal he told me that everything he’s said to me has been true except for 2 things. I’m not going to say exactly what the 2 lies were but it gave me the ick that he lied to me. He told me the truth and said that he lied when we first started interacting because he didn’t know if he could trust me with personal information since we are active in the same spaces (which i understand tbh) but I think it would’ve been better if he didn’t lie and kept the information vague since he didn’t trust me initially. I asked him why did he continue his lies up until now and even add more information to those lies, and not just admit once we started getting slightly serious that you lied about some things because you didn’t trust me. He didn’t really have anything to say to that, but he said that he felt like he was too deep in his lie that he just continued it 💀. He also said that he remembers me saying something about how if someone lies to me once i never trust them again. He told me I should take some time to think over this whole situation because it’s a lot and that he understands if I don’t want to continue talking to him. So now I’m just thinking about what I should do next?
Everything was good until he lied about the most random things and decided to continue and build on top of his lies. I understood why he’d lie to a complete stranger, this is the internet and it’s not a safe place to share personal info, which is why I’m leaning towards forgiving him for this and continuing on to see how everything goes.
I haven’t spoken to him for a few weeks now because i told him i’d reach out in a few months since i have to focus on something big in my life right now and he was fine with that.
I feel like it’s fate we met and i feel like he is my other half because we share the same views on life, value the same things and are completely compatible personality wise as well.
I also do have family in the city he lives in, and he was planning on visiting me to meet me, so it doesn’t sound completely crazy for me to be entertaining a guy whole lives in another country 😭
Yeah, this is a red flag. Whether small or big, lies are still lies. Typically, if someone feels like they can get away lying to you about small things, they will gradually move on to lying about bigger things. There’s no good reason to lie about these things and no need to investigate further – you’ll just become more confused.
I’m also inclined to believe he is lying about the things he convinces you of. I wouldn’t put it past him. Men are really good at doing lip service.
If you still plan on talking to him, just don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Get to know other people.
Anon
7 months ago
What are your thoughts on people trying to figure out darkests wife? I just feel like it’s giving bitter and is hella bad-mind
Because people have to have somebody and something to talk about. They do this because their life is incredibly boring so they live through everyone else’s life. You know that saying, ‘Great minds only discuss ideas; average minds only discuss events; small minds only discuss people’ – yeah that.
How would you deal with a colourist friend? I’ve been friends with this girl for years and she was never like this at the beginning, we’re really close and I consider one of my best friends. However, recently she’s been making weird colourist remarks. Saying things like I’m so glad i’m lightskin, Alhamdulilah i’m lightskin etc. I just find it really uncomfortable because how do i even respond to that. I did mention to her that since she likes darker skin men that she could have a darkskin daughter in the future but she just brushed it off and changed the topic. How do I deal with this? Outside of this she’s a great friend.
Honestly, I would try and distance myself away from a person like that. You could try and educate them on colorism and how what they are saying is harmful ( if you want). However, seeing how they reacted to a previous interaction about colorism, I doubt that they’ll listen. So it may just be best stay away from them.
Hey Lulu, tips on what you think men like in a women before marriage. I’m working on myself and how I treat my partner. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of difficult thoughts about men as I’ve dealt with an abusive and now absent father and some other things.
Essentially I’m asking how to optimise myself and be someone that my man loves to be around? Any general tips would be appreciated!
For the most part that there exists a notion of the “ideal woman” that many women feel compelled to emulate in order to appear more appealing to potential partners.
And it doesn’t actually benefit them, not even in the slightest. I say that because, the idea is that women should base their entire personalities around men. Which doesn’t leave any room for personal development, people who try to copy this “look” end up not really having any depth to them.
I think when it comes to dating, it’s just really important to be yourself. Don’t subscribe to the opinion that you must be like xyz in order to get a good man. Trust me, its not true. I also find that girls like that tend to be really boring to be around even as friends, so I can’t even image what its like to date them.
Have your own opinion of the world. Don’t be someone that constantly talks about what other people think, because no one wants to be around someone that is a sheep. Be confident. If you are a confident, outgoing girl then guys will automatically be more drawn to you. There is a line of course, being arrogant or constantly implying that you’re above someone’s league is definitely not a good idea.
Be compassionate, understanding, and a good listener. I find that it’s easier for people to open up to you when you make them feel safe. Being combative, argumentative, petty etc just makes you hard to love. It doesn’t make a man want you even more (not sure where people got this from either). In the beginning no one really has grace for the other, so they won’t take into account past traumas or negative experiences.
Hey guys so I have a question about whether or not how I’m feeling is justified or I’m speaking from a place of insecurity. My man and I have been together for 5 years now we’re 26 and 28 and for some time now I’ve noticed that he follows random women he either doesn’t know or isn’t close with on Instagram. These women are attractive women too and not celebrities just LOCAL GIRLS from the city 😭 which I think is worse. Personally I look at it from a perspective of what’s the point? Are you using ur ig as a dating app at this point or what? But everytime I bring it up there’s no change and he unfollows them alludes to me being insecure..
sorry I guess my question is, is this weird on his part? Or my part for getting uncomfortable?
Sorry. Red flag.
He is completely disregarding your feelings. People don’t behave that way when they are in a loving/ healthy relationship.
I hate how people try and act like social media activity has no real life consequences. Your social media presence definitely has the power to bleed into your private life. The fact they are local girls are even more reasons why I think this was intentional. It blurs the lines and he knows this, but I don’t think he cares. Maybe he is slowly soft launching singledom, I wouldn’t put it past him.
If this is how this man honours a 5 year relationship wallahi I genuinely think you need to start second guessing where this is going. You also need to realise that you require more reassurance than he is willing to give you. For that reason alone, I would end it.
My close friend and I moved into a place together last October. I saw it as an opportunity to bond, but within a month she started seeing someone and since we’ve only hung out twice. Both times was because he was busy on those days. I feel kind of sad and lonely. Any advice?
In almost a year, you’ve only hung out twice? In that case, I don’t think she sees you the way you see her unfortunately.
It sucks but just because you live together does not mean you’ll be best friends. Additionally, they’re not entitled to hang out with you all the time, especially if they don’t want to.
One of the key parts of independence is learning how to entertain yourself, doing self-care, reading, watching a movie that you love, by yourself. Essentially, being your own 24/7 best friend. Think about this as a good opportunity to practice this. The point is to never let people who don’t value you make you feel lovely. It’ll feel like shit doing things on your own, but you’ll grow your wings.
And also make new friends! Don’t let this be a shit experience for you, bun her – get new people to hang out with. One’s you don’t have to beg for their time.
I’m 27, gave up my career/dream because it I no longer enjoyed it as it affected my physical and mental health. I’m going through a lot of health issues and it’s affecting me so much to the point where I feel like I’d be better off d**d. I feel like such a burden to my family, friends and even work. I’m labelled as the girl who’s always sick, which ain’t wrong. I’ve gotten therapy and it’s helped a little but I feel like I’m going backwards again. I’m trying so hard to be grateful for having a roof over my head, food on the table, you know the little blessings we all take for granted. But my health is getting too much and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. All I do is cry, which is like my only coping mechanism. I just don’t ever see myself ever being happy. I can’t remember the last time I was ever genuinely happy. I know the thing I’m lacking in my life is deen and that’s probably why I’m suffering. I just feel so torn sometimes like why am I going through all these struggles? What did I do to deserve this? Like when my health issues started I was a child, what could I have possibly done so wrong to deserve this? I feel so conflicted. I wanna change my ways and get closer to Allah but I keep putting it off. I don’t where where to begin or how. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you
Awww I’m so sorry to hear that sis, and I pray illahi makes it better for you inshallah.
I don’t think I could say anything to resolve this feeling but what I can say is that a person’s experience doesn’t need to match how others say they should feel. You can be grateful for what you have and still feel tormented by feelings of sadness, inadequacy and loneliness. It’s normal. It’s possible to love parts of your life and feel helpless and hurt by others, especially if there are unresolved things that are not being addressed. Maybe for you that’s deen. The issue with depression is that it takes precedent every area of one’s life. So it’s so hard to look at anything else when that is taking all your energy.
There is this book I think you should read it’s called Don’t Be Sad by Dr. A’id al-Qarni. Wallahi the closest thing I can compare it to is like getting a warm hug from someone. Everytime I read that book I cry. But happy tears because the words are so comforting. I really do think you’d benefit from it, and at the very least get a warm hug 🙂
Hey girls, so I’ve been chatting to this guy for 2 months now, everything was going well until we met up. He was doing everything right but when we met up he said that he liked our date but didn’t know if he felt a romantic spark yet. He still wants to go on a second date and asked me out. I am stuck because I don’t know exactly what he means. Do you think that he isn’t interested and doesn’t want to be rude about it? I just think why would he want to meet again in that case, I could do with some advice
Sis do not go on that second date. He is trying to soft launch the breadcrumbing he’s about to serve you. Because that’s why he wants to go on that second date. Play that sucker at his own game.
“I respect the honesty, but I want you to find that spark you’re looking for. So best of luck babe!”
Asalamualaykum siss! I hope you’re doing well inshallah. I really need some words of wisdom after this dilemma. I’m 23f and Somali. Last year I went on a date and earlier this year he falsely slandered my chastity and passed along my details in the Somali “mandem” group chat. Bare in mind the participants range from 27-30. This led me into deep depression subhanallah because it felt like the whole world was against me and no one believed me. Fast forward I changed most of my surroundings and focused on my relationship with Allah. I met a man recently who i was getting to know for the sake of marriage. He presented himself as practising but also lived in the same proximity as the man who slandered me so I didn’t assume they’d know each other. We literally got on like a house on fire and then he randomly texted me ending the relationship. I found out a couple days later from someone else how my name was around town and how it’s not looking good. Prior to this my mental health was at its lowest wallahi and Alhamdullilah my Salah was consistent because the anxiety that comment gave me was enough to push me to the edge. I’m not asking how I can redeem myself because why should I prove myself to human beings who switch up. But I just feel like these men are standing in the way of every single person who shows interest. I cried and cried to Allah swt and it brings me so much clarity. I’m just wondering if anyone has been in this position and how to get out of it. I’m just so confused how bummy MEN are bullying me lol😭.
Hey girl, I’m truly sorry to hear about this shitty experience you’ve had to endure. You didn’t deserve it, no one does. And wallahi it’s so important to remember that none of this reflects on your worth as an individual. You are valuable, and you deserve respect and happiness. The actions of those who have slandered you do not define you.
I understand your concern about the men in your community and their influence on your life. It can indeed be disheartening when individuals who should support and uplift you instead cause you pain. It’s soooo important to be cautious moving forward especially about the company we seek and only open your heart to people who share your values and treat you with the respect you deserve.
It’s completely normal to feel confused and hurt by these experiences. You have every right to your emotions. And whilst it may feel like these men are standing in your way, please don’t lose hope. Trust and believe not all men are the same, and there are individuals out there who will appreciate you for who you are and treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve.
A general piece of advice, when getting to know someone, look at who their friends are! Birds of a feather flock together. If his friends are immature and lack respect, he is not far off.
In the meantime, focus on your personal growth and inshallah illahi blesses you with a spouse that protects and honours you in every way that you deserve cutie.
I went to a private school which filtered out certain websites on the Wi-Fi.
When this website was really active, it was my whole internet history, I would read it whenever I had a break- so much so when I signed in one morning, they had blocked thesisterguide.com!!! Glad you’re back, my guilty pleasure :))
Omgg this made me laugh LOOOOOOOL
This is what we love to hear!
So i met a guy on socials through my burner account, we occupy similar spaces but never really interacted. He reached out one day asking about something random and from then on we talked discussed topics that we see in the spaces we occupy. This lead to us finding out we held the same perspective on everything and our personalities were very compatible. Mind you this whole time this is through my burner and we built some sort of connection through it. Eventually we had a call and we connected even more, it’s like it was fate we met. We discussed our future and before I even said what I wanted he literally said word for word what i’d want from my future partner, we were both shocked that we were on the same page and that it’s like we found our other half. Also i never post anything on my burner, I’m just an active viewer of the space we have in common and just crack jokes, so he had no clue who I actually am and what i value. We confessed having feelings for one another later on and started talking about our future and our plans, everything was moving very quickly. We live in different countries but were already building up a plan for when we’d get married in a few years. We also covered many important marriage questions early on which was good. Later on we did a face reveal because we weren’t planning on doing that early on since we didn’t have that initial trust in place initially(since it’s the internet and stranger danger). We were both happy with the face reveal but after the face reveal he told me that everything he’s said to me has been true except for 2 things. I’m not going to say exactly what the 2 lies were but it gave me the ick that he lied to me. He told me the truth and said that he lied when we first started interacting because he didn’t know if he could trust me with personal information since we are active in the same spaces (which i understand tbh) but I think it would’ve been better if he didn’t lie and kept the information vague since he didn’t trust me initially. I asked him why did he continue his lies up until now and even add more information to those lies, and not just admit once we started getting slightly serious that you lied about some things because you didn’t trust me. He didn’t really have anything to say to that, but he said that he felt like he was too deep in his lie that he just continued it 💀. He also said that he remembers me saying something about how if someone lies to me once i never trust them again. He told me I should take some time to think over this whole situation because it’s a lot and that he understands if I don’t want to continue talking to him. So now I’m just thinking about what I should do next?
Everything was good until he lied about the most random things and decided to continue and build on top of his lies. I understood why he’d lie to a complete stranger, this is the internet and it’s not a safe place to share personal info, which is why I’m leaning towards forgiving him for this and continuing on to see how everything goes.
I haven’t spoken to him for a few weeks now because i told him i’d reach out in a few months since i have to focus on something big in my life right now and he was fine with that.
I feel like it’s fate we met and i feel like he is my other half because we share the same views on life, value the same things and are completely compatible personality wise as well.
I also do have family in the city he lives in, and he was planning on visiting me to meet me, so it doesn’t sound completely crazy for me to be entertaining a guy whole lives in another country 😭
Yeah, this is a red flag. Whether small or big, lies are still lies. Typically, if someone feels like they can get away lying to you about small things, they will gradually move on to lying about bigger things. There’s no good reason to lie about these things and no need to investigate further – you’ll just become more confused.
I’m also inclined to believe he is lying about the things he convinces you of. I wouldn’t put it past him. Men are really good at doing lip service.
If you still plan on talking to him, just don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Get to know other people.
What are your thoughts on people trying to figure out darkests wife? I just feel like it’s giving bitter and is hella bad-mind
Because people have to have somebody and something to talk about. They do this because their life is incredibly boring so they live through everyone else’s life. You know that saying, ‘Great minds only discuss ideas; average minds only discuss events; small minds only discuss people’ – yeah that.